PcolaMinx Of Milton FL's blog: "MINXs LAIR"

NEVER ARGUE WITH A WOMAN Apr.13, 2008 9:30 am Mood: flirtatious, A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn, the wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies. ( Thinking, "Isn't it obvious?" ) "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." "Have a nice day, ma'am," and he left. . . . MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Two Traveling Angels Keep reading to the bottom of the page -- don't stop at the feet (You'll see). Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family.! The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem." The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lie dead in the field. The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel, "How could you have let this happen?" "The first man had everything, yet you helped him", she accused. The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die. "Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it." "Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him The cow instead". Things aren't always what they seem." Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every out come is always to your advantage. You just might not know it until some time later... Oooo Some people ( ) Come into our lives ) / And quickly go.. (_ / OooO ( ) Some people ( become friends _ ) and stay awhile.... Leaving beautiful Oooo Footprints on our ( ) Hearts... ) / ( / OooO ( ) and we are never ( quite the same because we have made a good friend!! Yesterday is history Tomorrow a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present! I think this is special...live and savor every moment... This is not a dress rehearsal! ( /) ( __ / ) ( ()/ ) ( / ) TAKE THIS LITTLE ANGEL ( / / ) AND KEEP HER CLOSE TO YOU / SHE IS YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL ( ) SENT TO WATCH OVER YOU ____

Another Goody For The Oldtimers My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning. My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in icepack coolers, but I can't remember getting e.coli. Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then. The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system. We all took gym, not PE... and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now. Flunking gym was not an option... even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym. Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention. We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything. I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself. I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations. Oh yeah... and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed! We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked. Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat. We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because if we did, we got our butt spanked there and then we got butt spanked again when we got home. I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck. To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that? We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't even notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive? LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA, AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T- SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED. I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING

???????(Under age 40? You won't understand.) ???????You could hardly see for all the snow, ?????Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go. ?????Pull a chair up to the TV set, ?????"Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet." ???????Depending on the channel you tuned, ?????You got Rob and Laura - or Ward and June. ?????It felt so good. It felt so right. ?????Life looked better in black and white. ?????I Love Lucy, The Real McCoys, ?????Dennis the Menace, the Cleaver boys, ?????Rawhide, Gunsmoke, Wagon Train, ?????Superman, Jimmy and Lois Lane. ?????Father Knows Best, Patty Duke, ?????Rin Tin Tin and Lassie too, ?????Donna Reed on Thursday night! ?????Life looked better in black and white. ?????I wanna go back to black and white. ?????Everything always turned out right. ?????Simple people, simple lives... ?????Good guys always won the fights. Now nothing is the way it seems, ?????In living color on the TV screen. ?????Too many murders, too many fights,? ?????I wanna go back to black and white. ? ?????In God they trusted, alone in bed they slept, ?????A promise made was a promise kept. ?????They never cussed or broke their vows. ?????They'd never make the network now.? ?????But if I could, I'd rather be ?????In a TV town in '53. ?????It felt so good. It felt so right. ?????Life looked better in black and white. ???????I'd trade all the channels on the satellite, ?????If I could just turn back the clock tonight ???????To when everybody knew wrong from right. ?????Life was better in black and white! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~? ----------------------------------------------

‘Night’s Promise’ I am solitude, tranquility, reflection, The deepest part of your soul, I come to offer serenity, calmness, Fulfilling my timeless universal role. I am reliable, steadfast, unswerving, Existing since time’s very beginning, I can take your distress, sorrow, deepest pain, Soothing you, then depart from you grinning. I come when all others have left, Even your preeminent and dearest friend, I instill peace in your heart, There is nothing I can’t transcend. Welcome me, greet me, and receive me, You beautiful, innocent child of earth, Trust me, have confidence, and deep faith, I am ageless, having been with you since birth. I pledge and promise to be with you, At your last earthly breath, right to the very end, Kissing your lips, closing your eyes for the last time, Assisting you, as you begin your magnificent ascend. I’ll absorb you within my mass, A forever loved and cherished part of me, To take your place amongst the stars, Leaving earthbound confines, to be always free. I am the other half of the universe, Commonly known to everyone as Night, Now come with me my darling sweet one, Your soul lives on, we slowly drift out of sight. Watch as the miracle transformation begins, And we together approach the bright warm sun, Your faith in my promise was justified, Now is evermore, and we only just begun. written 3-17-05 By: Yours truly…Cobra aka Cali_Minx ******************

Digging in the Dirt almost cost me my Soul ! The story of one man’s “escape” Every real pilot has a dream, live on an airport or better still have a runway and/or heliport at your home. Think of it. Up in the morning, out the door, into the chopper and away for the day. What could be better! When the time comes to purchase a new home or piece of property to build, the underlying motive whether conscious or not, is how are the approaches - clear of obstacles? If not, can I clear a path? Where will the hanger be? I can put a pad here and easily land on my new dolly and simply slide the chopper in and out. Too easy! All these questions, but I can overcome. Take my case - I got lucky. I found 22 beautiful treed acres, 1700 foot grass runway, a hanger, some fencing, 2500 feet of driveways and the nearest neighbor lived 1500 feet on the other side of the woods. What could be better - NOTHING! All that was needed was a little fix up here, a little touch up there and Walla - instant perfection. I’d seen it before, but it couldn’t happen to me - man digs in the dirt and stops flying - beyond comprehension. Not me - I’ve got it made! Runway behind the house, hanger beside the house, just a little work and everything would be grand! The TRAP! With terrific enthusiasm - attack - make it perfect! Lots to do - where to start? Park the chopper - let’s see - need a dolly - OK build one. It shouldn’t take more than a few days. Oh damn - the runway needs mowing - go buy a tractor and mower - 7 acres of grass to mow - how long can it take? Back to the dolly. Rain - this is the northwest. The drainage isn’t right - must clean out the ditches. Buy a backhoe and dig ditches - How long can it take? Back to the dolly. What now - potholes in the driveways - Buy a dozer - grade the driveways - How long can it take? Runway needs mowing again - How long can it take? Back to the dolly. What now! The taxman says if you don’t have animals - you don’t have a farm - no farm = big taxes. Buy cows, goats, pigs - fences need mending - how long can it take? Buy fencing and tools - fix the fence - mow the runway - grade the driveways - clean out the ditches - Pig’s pregnant - fix up the barn and pig pen - How long can it take? Buy more stuff! What do you mean - the runway needs mowing again - how did the cows break the fence? We should clear more land and erect another building - we’ve got too much stuff - How long can it take? Can I get back to the dolly? During all this time, the chopper is sitting outside on the trailer - we’ll get the damn dolly finished. Perfection and peace will once again be in my life. Calls from friends “ We’re going to the John Day - should be a lot of fun “ “How long can it take? “ “Three or four days, it’ll be a blast! “ “Three or four days! - don’t you know I’ve got to cut the runway, fix the fence, work on the barn, clear some land, move some trees and get the damn dolly finished! I don’t think I can go, besides the driveway needs grading again and somebody ran into the gate - Maybe next time. “ Fix the gate - Buy a welding machine. Make a new gate - How long can it take? What do you mean we need more ditches - the well has gone dry! Fix the well - How long can it take? “ Hey, do you want to go fly the ‘Coulees’ in eastern Washington. Just a few days - It’ll be great fun.” “ Maybe next time, I’ve just got to get this dolly finished and need to put more power to the hanger, the welder doesn’t work properly. - How long can it take? Call me next time, I’d love to go - should be caught up by next spring.” Damn - helicopter is still outside, dolly’s not done - runway needs mowing - ditches again - weeds growing along the driveways and ditches - need a sprayer - Buy a sprayer and lots of Round Up - How long can it take? You know I’m not using the chopper - should probably sell it - need the money for the new building and the contractor. Anyway, I need to fix the gate down by the barn - first the wiring - need to weld. Need to install another power pole - How long can it take? If I could just finish the damn dolly I could get the rest of this stuff done and maybe, just maybe go flying - Gosh, do I remember how? It’s been a while. I’ll just mow the runway, grade the driveways, mend the fence, clean out the ditches, burn the trees and brush from the land clearing, put up the new pole, fill the well, weld the gate, run new power and I’ll be good to go! How long can it take? “Would you like to come flying this weekend. A bunch of us are going down to the ‘Head of the Mettolious’ - you know where the water just comes out of the ground and forms a river - wonderful thing to see and then we plan to fly around the ‘Sisters’ and just have a wonderful time!” “Sounds great, but I’ve just got to mow the runway and get to the animal auction and I heard about a tractor for sale. Besides I’ve got a guy coming to look at the chopper - he’s interested in buying it. Thinks he might take the trailer and the motorhome as well. Maybe next time - Thanks anyway.” To paraphrase, mowing the grass, fixing the fences, grading the driveway, digging the ditches, clearing the land, planting the trees, etc. etc. etc. can be referred to as “Digging in the Dirt” Although, in and of itself “Digging in the Dirt” is not a bad thing, it can and will consume you. At some point you will sell your chopper and you will just “Dig in the Dirt” I’ve seen it before. JL, CJ, LW and SJ all pilots - not just pilots, but chopper pilots. All had their own choppers, all fixed up their homes with hangers, pads and a great system for flying in and out of their very own home heliport. But somewhere along the way they fell victim to “Digging in the Dirt”. There is always something to do. Besides the usual, mowing, grading, mending, planting etc. there is yet another thing that must be done. It is often referred to as the “Honey Do List” - Yes you know the one - no matter how much of it you get done, it never gets any shorter. After all, how long can it take? I’ve seen it, You’ve seen it, the only solution is to sell your chopper so that you will have more time to “Dig in the Dirt”. THIS IS NOT A SOLUTION - YOU CAN BE SAVED! Why did you buy a chopper in the first place? Freedom - your very own magic carpet. To see things nobody else gets to see - to go places nobody else gets to go. Passion - you don’t just have an intense interest in aviation - you are a chopper pilot - you are aviation! It’s your life - it’s your soul - it’s your reason for being. There is nothing like it and you know it. If you couldn’t fly your chopper, why would you go to work? Yet it happens - “Dig in the Dirt” or Fly. Even in the best of families the choice is made - Sell the chopper - “Dig in the Dirt” - thus your soul has been taken away and a part of you dies. You can however, be saved - after all “how long can it take?” I was almost lost! It was late one evening, I was fixing something (Digging in the Dirt) and planning tomorrow’s day of Digging in the Dirt - when, what appeared to be a complete stranger rode up to the house - How did he get through the gate? - is it broken again? I recognized the voice but for the life of me could not remember this strange figure - leather clothes, helmet, gloves - everything including the Harley - Why was he here? - What did he want? I guess I would listen, after all - how long can it take? He explained to me that I really didn’t need to mow the runway - heck, I didn’t even own an airplane. Dig ditches - if the water is higher than the grade - the ditch is useless and moreover, after the flooding, it goes away and if all else fails - water runs downhill. Why do you have tractors parked in an aircraft hanger? Move them out and protect the chopper! After all, how long can it take? He asked about the cows - where are they? In the freezer - so you really don’t have to mend fences! The conversation went on like this for a couple of hours and each time I spoke about digging the dirt the stranger’s response was always the same - if you dig in the dirt - your soul will be lost! The next day I awoke renewed - knowledge is power! Dig in the Dirt or Fly? Stupid Question! I must Fly, as you must fly; it is part of us - our very soul! Out to the trailer - spread the wings - preflight - start and go! I still know how to do this! Fly - be free - this is what has been missing from my life - my soul has been restored. Get on your magic carpet and ride. After all, how long can it take? I have since discovered the “LIST’ never seems to get any longer or shorter - it always stays about the same. Near the end, you’re not going to look back and say “I should have worked harder” or “I should have spent more time “Digging in the Dirt”. You’re going to say “I wish I’d seen….” or “why didn’t I go here and do…” or why didn’t I try…”. So you might just as well go flying every chance you get or you may find yourself “Digging in the Dirt” After all, how long can it take? Carpe Diem!

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convincing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

It's a Conspiracy...I Tell ya ! THIS KIND OF STUFF HAS GOT TO STOP IN OUR COUNTRY! We Must Stop This Immediately! Have you noticed that Stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away.. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become! And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader? I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me. I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection.........Well, REALLY NOW- even mirrors are not made the way they used to be! Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them.. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror. Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling? I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here! All I can do is pass along this warning: We are under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities. PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something has caused my computer's fonts to be smaller than they once were.

This morning on my way to work I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner. I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup. As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much, I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee, between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call. Damn women drivers!!

Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry. Please keep it cool in mid-July. Bless the walls where termites dine While ants and roaches march in time. Bless our yard where spiders pass Fire ant castles in the grass. Bless the garage, a home to please Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas. Bless the love bugs, two by two, The gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you. Millions of creatures that fly or crawl, In the South, Lord, y ou've put them all! But this is home, and here we'll stay, So thank you Lord, for insect spray. HOLD IT............there's more............ When you experience the last two you'll know its hot YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN DEEP SOUTH IN JULY WHEN. . . The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The trees are whistling for the dogs. The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. Hot water now comes out of both taps. You can make sun tea instantly. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron. The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly. You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car. You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window. You actually burn your hand opening the car door. You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?" You realize that asphalt has a liquid state. The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs. The cows are giving evaporated milk.