Every day on here I have some random person seeking my Fu-friend approval tell me how "unique" I am. Guys seeking my approval because they think that I look "hot" or they "would like to see my private pics" tend to try to sweet talk me with that word. They seem to think it really means something...like I'm oh so special and there's no one else in the entire expanse of the universe that could compare to me. And because I'm so special, could they please have a peek at my tits?
You know, I look in the mirror every day. I see who and what I am. I know myself.
I am NOT a beautiful and unique snowflake.
What I am is someone just like you. Someone who's lonely and tired and jaded and bored. Someone who wants the same exact thing that everyone wants.
To not be lonely and tired and jaded and bored anymore.
In this quest, I have been through a lot. I've trusted the wrong people, I've looked for love in all the wrong places, I've let down my guard over and over only to be forced to put it back up again. And all it's done is make me more lonely and tired and jaded and bored. And pretty fucking bitter as well.
Because I am not a beautiful and unique snowflake, I have learned that, no matter what each of us does to make ourselves stand out in the crowd, it doesn't change what lies underneath.
We're all scared and broken and battered. We're all full of scars that could take a lifetime to heal. We're all victims of the world in which we live...a world in which somewhere an innocent child lies in a dark room fearing her father's drunken wrath...a world in which somewhere a mother cries by the grave of her fallen son and, no matter how many times she's told that he was a brave heroic soldier, it will never bring him back...a world that's filled with lies and pain and death and horror.
What I want...what I've always truly wanted...is to be loved. To be sheltered. To feel like that horror can no longer leave it's mark upon me.
I want...peace.
I wonder if he'll give that to me.
I'm melting.
