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BrightEyedArtist's blog: "ME"

created on 05/21/2007  |  http://fubar.com/me/b84553  |  4 followers

Paranoia

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I'm certain many here can relate to this. If not,... you know your not only lying to yourself but to the rest of us as well. Inspired by the heart ache & pain of many here. This is my only sign of empathy to the majority. Its as good as I can do. I'm Sorry if anyone is offended. HTML STOLEN/MANIPULATED BY:B.E.A

As some of you may have come to learn,... or know? I write here to vent, from time to time. I know Ive not been around a lot lately. My life picked up quit a bit. I had a wack job from this site,.. convince me he was a genuine person. When in reality, he was nothing but a load of shit. *shrugs* That being the least of things in events. Prior to all this,.. I did hospice for my brother in law from my 1st marriage here at my home, till his last breath. & His brother,... the father of my 20 year old, disappeared completely. Not that I mind,... but these guys were two very important people to my child. They were all very close. *SIGH* One of my daughters friends moves in with us. Whom later is the father of her baby. I had a stroke. My kid announced after professing for entirely too long that she was a virgin,.. that she is having a baby. *I had another stroke* & I have but less then 90 days to get ready in all avenues in regards to the new baby. She being 20 & all I expected her to maintain the responsible ways she seemed to have prior. Nope. The father is just 17. His family being very young as well,... on a few fronts. These kids pushed,.. manipulated,... got the famileys to fued. I out of no choice or option was forced to put them out of my house. Their gone,.. I begin to recover from the disrespect, intrusions & "Jerry Springer scenes. I get a frantic call early this morning. Its the mother of the 17 year old boy thats is the father of my Grandson whom just turned 3 months yesturday. Today is the 9th folks. In the middle of all this, is my youngest, just 13 years old, she is upset, & in the middle, & there isnt enough of me for everyone, she is lost for a minute er two,... *I'm sorry baby*. My Grandson's leg is broken, at the hands of his father. No less of a way to put it. Im making no judgement at this point. Though between the exrays, bruising & the way the mother of my Grandson's father is acting. This is not going well. The police are involved. My daughter is frantic. I have to tell her to be calm & Breath,.. just breath baby. Think! Stay calm & Just think! She wasn't in the room when it happened. The father of the baby has been scolded by both my self & his mother for how he spoke/yelled & even too ruff in play with our Grandson, on several occasions prior. The exrays are clear. His femur bone is not only out of the hip socket but its cracked in half the way a piece of wood, would be if twisted. Its really that simplistic. This doesnt look good. My Grandson, god what a trooper. He is a wonderful little guy. He is strong! & Handling all this well. My Daughter & I agree,.. she & my Grandson are coming back home. For now,... at this point. I sit in worry & wait,... to hear from my child. The mother of my Grandson. They are interrogating my "son in law". My Grandson has to spend the night. His leg is in a cast. My Daughter is spending the night. At childrens hospital. I sit & Wait. 10:37pm The mother of my Grandson's father calls. I can hardly recognise who it is. I had to ask her. She says "Her son isn't allowed around our Grandson & To call my lawyer. & My Grandson is in over night. & My daughter is in the back seat of the car withdrawn & distraught. I said: Bring my child here. That's my daughter bring her to her mother. 10:57pm,.. I call, .. where is my daughter,.. she is here, she gets on the phone. She is crying,... Mom I didn't even do anything, they wouldn't even let me in the room to kiss him. They wont let me see him. I said,... just come home now. She is on her way here now. My heart is breaking. My Parents are involved now. & The Family Lawyer is too. I feel so helpless. I don't know what to do or what to say when she is here. I will just take it as it comes. She is here. My daughter pretty much went straight to bed. Ive contacted my parents & their lawyer & so on. Between all of this. The mother of my son in law,... is simply selfishly in the way of whats good for my Grandson. He is now in Children s hospital with an armed guard at his door. Ive no idea why. This women,(the father of my grandsons mother).. can't seem to stop diverting everything towards herself. & while standing between my daughter & I, is saying,... "I am not influencing anything!". Yet when my child speaks,... its this women that comes from her. Not my child. I feel like either walking away from this & washing my hands of it? Or,... Sue for custody of my Grandson. Simply to get whats right before wrong for him. I know if I do this,... it will put a rift in my daughter & I's relationship. But not for too terribly long, as I know in my heart, she is still as close to me as she had ever been,.. her emotions is whats kept her from thinking clearly. Which is normal,... but what isn't right or normal is this other women,... influencing,... even though she says she isn't. She very much is. Her & her family have records involving cps that go back way too far & too current all in one. We have none in our family. None of which any children were taken. Mine were done in divorce only. Not something violent like this. Or seemingly anyway. There isn't even a way to candy coat this. In anyway. Fuck!!! I just have no idea on what to do? Wash my hands of this? Thats what I really want to do. I really want to just walk! I want nothing to do with this and was prepared to allow my child to go on with her none sense. But now that my grandson is hurt & now being held for his protection. I honestly don't think that walking is the right thing or the smart thing on any level. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!! I simply haven't any idea how to handle this. I so just want to walk! I don't think I can take another moment of the utter stench in bullshit that's being spewed forth in the middle of all this. That has nothing to do with the real entirety of the situation, & that to me is simply insane. Today my daughter had a meeting with child protection services. Apparently my grandson had a previous break in the same leg just above his knee that was nearly healed. & Due to the domestic violence of my second ex-husband,.. he to myself & my children, mentioned here in the past in either mumm or otherwise. ... I can not have legal guardianship of my grandson. Now all of that side of the family is on their way here to my house for us to decide as to whom will have custody over him. He is not allowed now to be around his father with out supervision. Im certain now that I will be having more time with my Grandson now then ever, regardless of said issues against me. I was the victim in the cases in my background. So,... that leaves me open to have more time with my Grandson. As,... Im the only one that really has the time. None the less,... my child is doing all that she can to jump the hoops set in front of her. This is clearly going to be a very long process. Ive never been threw anything like this before. Though I knew my grandson was being handled to ruff,... I had no idea it was that ruff. Im devastated. I could of prevented this. Though, how? Ive no idea? I now wished I had never put my daughter out of the house. Im certain had I not done that? My grandson wouldnt be in foster care now. Much has come to light threw all this,... all of us "adults" in this situation have learned we had all been played,... we also learned bunches more,... needless to be said here. Over all,... my Grandson is in a foster home,... my child had been standing by the side of the father of my grandson,... though I tried to help she refused my help. Im forced to take it upon myself with a lawyer,... & so shall it be. My kid has been proven she is irrasponsible. & The father of the baby is abusive. Period. I have to do what I have too. 9/13/08 The delusions of my child & the mother of my grandsons father, persists. My child is beyond realistic & further in delusion then I had ever imagined. She is forcing the worst scenerio possible between us. Out of no choice of my own, Im forced to bring all that I have found in her room as evidence as well as other documents. She at this point has made her bed & will most certainly lay in it. The entire situation is beyond irresponsible in multiple fronts. The irony is the "adult" whom guides my daughter though does it while denying it. Is no closer to the reality then my daughter is. For this,.. its a sad state of affairs in the idea that my Grandson's fate will of course be a happy one for him. Though Im most certain, he wont have a relationship with either responsible party. They have proven just how terribly irresponsible they truly are. 9/14/08 There is nothing worse then to be denied your instinctual right to protect your child. The harshest of the worst case scenerio. Is your child not only rejecting & defying your right,... but going out of her way to disrespect & hemuliate me in the ut-most of defiance. Her ignorance has now insisted on me to do all that I can for my Grandson, & let the world treat my child as well as she has treated me & the world. 9/17/08 I've had my statement taken by the police. Its now clear to me why my child was bulling & bulldogging me from talking to the police or case workers. Weeks before all of this. We had a huge blow out over how irresponsible she was being with my Grandson. Its clear from the questions I was asked by the detective & the case worker that my child didn't want me to speak a single word as pretty much she is damned. All the questions aren't bad,... just that she is negligent & irresponsible. Also the other grandmother was finally told by an authority though I had been saying it from the begining,... to stay out of me & my childs business. She came to me & apologized while saying:... "it was a slap in her face to be told by a complete stranger to get her nose out of where it didnt belong,... I said to her: "Ive been asking you to stay out of it from the begining. She said: she knows but she just didnt get it till someone else had to tell her. That made me feel really good that she was a strong enough person to admit that she was wrong & to apologize. Makes me look at her in an entire new light. Today they will be taking a statement from my youngest. They will be here after 4pm today. It seems to me the detective is zeroing in on my Grandsons father. Which isnt good, for him. Ive learned that they got to see my Grandson yesterday & he looked good & was full of smiles, though they cut their visit short w/them cause he had fallen asleep. I can't help but think that will be used against them in court by the prosecuting attorney. Though they believe they were doing whats right for their son. Its clear from reading many of the reports that much is taken out of context as well as distorted then used against my daughter & her boyfriend. I know at best this entire situation is going to break my daughter down more mentally then all else. I hope she can be strong enough to contend with this better then they expect or anticipate. As I truly believe they want to break her down. Ive no idea why? But my Grandson is a healthy & very happy boy & such an easy baby. That I'm sure if the state could have their way,... they would take this perfect child. This county that I live in is the worst & most horrific in being dirty & Ive never witnessed so much let alone the amount of corupstion there is in this county. Its truly disgusting. My child still refuses to speak to me. Which had she not been empowered to defy & disrespect me by the other grandmother I'm certain this would of never gone this far. That alone is a crime if ever there was one. Though she is harming herself & this case with her child in doing this. She hasnt even attained a Gaurdian ad litem for my grandson. Which should of been done the day he was taken into custoday. My daughter can't stand hearing anything about whats wrong over the right from me. Much less anything. Let alone will she take the time to learn how little she is doing isnt to the best interest of my grandson. Including not getting her son an lawyer. aka Gaurdin ad litem. Last night one of my best friends came by. I refused to speak to him about any of this as anything Ive talked to him about involving all this,...he seemed to challenge me. As he is biased due to speaking to my child though he wont admit it. Its clear he is biased. As anything I ever told him he runs to find out to have it verified by my child, whom cause of her position distorts everything & then conveys it to my best friend. I simply told my friend, Im not talking about anything of this with you. As anything I say to you,.. you discount it & then he runs to my child. I find that more then biased & now though Ive questioned it before. I feel more then a friendship has happened between he & my child as Ive only seen him get this way with girls he has been intimate with. He wont admit any of this, but Im going by what Ive observed. & the fact that he has gone behind my back several times. I understand that he is friends with both me & my child,...(who does that?) ... but he was a friend of mine that I brought into my family. That Im rather certain much more has happen between he & my child then the both of them will admit. & cause of the delusions my child insists on & then portrays herself as an adult. She at least has him convinced that she is more then capable as well as adult enough. Though she is far from. None the less,... if loosing a friend over my child is to happen? Then so be it,... as a real friend would of never interfered let alone gone as far as he has between my relationship with my child, much less all that he has done out of respect alone for me. He is too young to understand though he will find that statement insulting which again proves how young he is. & proving my point. I will not allow anyone to disrespect me on any level again especially those whom don't have children whom think that they know more then you do about your own child or anyones child. When I explained that point to this "friend" he was offended. Again proving how inexperienced & immature he is. As its a given fact that those whom voice their opinions or ideas on child rearing whom don't or have not ever had children? Are most often people whom havent a clue about what they are talking about due to lack of experience alone. Then when they become offended,... it only proves the statement further. Rather ironic really. If he was truely my friend he would of been in complete none biased support for both of us. Its clear,... otherwise. His interest isnt with me. Which to me is very upsetting. But it takes lifes incidents to bring out these things in many. Though Ive known him since he was 19 & I was 30,... he is rude, he is an asshole but over this time frame, I've gotten to know him, very well & I think its his age group that is just this way anyway. Though it influenced my children, which I had thought was a good thing to expose them. But its clear many of the choices I've made in exposing my children apparently weren't right let alone good. I'm told not to blame my self by the real people in my life. But in it all,... I feel that had I not given guided freedom as I have. My ignorant, disrespectful 20 year old wouldn't be shooting herself in the foot so terribly right now. & Though its unfortunate to discover during a situation like this,... I'd of never found out the one person whom I thought to be one of my very best friend. Truly isnt. He will be offended but its his lack of experience & maturity that is in the way, in understanding my point of view. AKA his loss. For now,... Im doing all that I can for my Grandson. & NO one or thing is going to stop that. Ive done all that I can otherwise. You can't help those whom aren't willing to help themselves. But I am helping the helpless. My Grandson.
CONCLUSION: My Daughter continues to delude her self. Though the end results isnt anything I hadnt informed my delusional child about on the way to taking my grandson to the hospital. One twist to it though,.. that I wasnt expecting. Her boyfriend is charged with neglect & abuse & is going to jail for 30 days,... he will then be on probation for 2 years then of which he is to do anger management/parenting class's & counceling. My daughter is to go through parenting classes & anger management as well as physcological counceling. Which is something I pushed for. My Grandson will reside with my twin sister. Which all these things,...I pushed for. I told my daughter all this,... & she continues to delude herself as well as go out of her way to hurt me due to her delusions in her idea of protecting her boyfriend & his family over being honest enough to know better when her mother is only preparing & protecting her. She will learn & get in the know the hard way. & That is my pay back as well as the end result of my grandson shoving much into her pompous arrogant face, once he puts her through the pay back hell she so deserves for being such a disrespectful dummy to her own mother. The vanity & self absorbtion Ive seen in my own child surely makes me question my parenting. Though Im reassured otherwise that my child has gone off the deep end as she has due to her own phsycosis. Which Ive no choice but to believe. She maintains as if she is in direct know of every aspect of all thats gone on, when in reality,.. she truly hasnt a clue. & thats just on this subject. It near scary to me just how much more she is so clearly ignorant about? None the less,... there are pics of my grandson in his casts should you like to take a peek & see how he is doing?

Dumbing down America

Dumbing down America, ... seems Ironic to say that, ... especially on a site like this one. Though you may think twice let alone have second thoughts on getting your child those "required" shots. Is there a method to all this madness? We may never know? It honestly depends on just how stupid we get. Watch this video,... its got a total "WOW" factor to it. But it potentially explains a lot. Any & all comments welcomed. Take a peek,... watch this,.... I'm wondering if I can sue? If this video is fact? It will explain my child's recent antics & actions. Brought to you by: B.E.A

My art work

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Some peopl​e! '​ snort​ed a man stand​ing behin​d me in the long line at the groce​ry store​. ​'You would​ think​ the manag​er would​ pay atten​tion & open anoth​er line,​ '​said a woman​.​ I looke​d to the front​ of the line to see what the hold up was and saw a well dress​ed,​ young​ woman​,​ tryin​g to get the machi​ne to accep​t her credi​t card. ​No matte​r how many times​ she swipe​d it, the machi​ne kept rejec​ting it. '​It'​s one of them welfa​re card thing​s.​ Peopl​e need to get a job like every​one else,​'​ said the man stand​ing behin​d me. The young​ woman​ turne​d aroun​d to see who had made the comme​nt.​ 'It was me,' he said,​ point​ing to himse​lf. The young​ lady'​s face began​ to chang​e expre​ssion​.​ Almos​t in tears​,​ she dropp​ed the welfa​re card onto the count​er and quick​ly walke​d out of the store​.​ Every​one in the check​out line watch​ed as she began​ runni​ng to her car. Never​ looki​ng back,​ she got in and drove​ away. After​ devel​oping​ cance​r in 1977 & havin​g had to use food stamp​s;​ I had learn​ed never​ to judge​ anyon​e,​ witho​ut knowi​ng the circu​mstan​ces of their​ life.​ This turne​d out to be the case today​. ​Sever​al minut​es later​ a young​ man walke​d into the store​.​ He went up to the cashi​er & asked​ if she had seen the woman​.​ After​ descr​ibing​ her, the cashi​er told him that she had run out of the store​,​ got into her car, & drove​ away. ​'Why would​ she do that?​'​ asked​ the man. Every​one in the line looke​d aroun​d at the fello​w who had made the state​ment.​ 'I made a stupi​d comme​nt about​ the welfa​re card she was using​.​ Somet​hing I shoul​dn'​t have said.​ I'm sorry​,​'​ said the man. '​Well,​ that'​s bad, real bad, in fact.​ Her broth​er was kille​d in Afgha​nista​n two years​ ago. He had three​ young​ child​ren & she has taken​ on that respo​nsibi​lity.​ She'​s twent​y years​ old, singl​e,​ & now has three​ child​ren to suppo​rt,​ '​he said in a very firm voice​. ​'I'm reall​y truly​ sorry​.​ I didn'​t know,​'​ he repli​ed,​ shaki​ng both his hands​ about​. ​The young​ man asked​,​ 'Are these​ paid for?​'​ point​ing to the shopp​ing cart full of groce​ries. 'It would​n'​t take her card,​'​ the clerk​ told him. 'Do you know where​ she lives​?​'​ asked​ the man who had made the comme​nt. '​Yes,​ she goes to our churc​h. '​Excus​e me,' he said as he made his way to the front​ of the line.​ He pulle​d out his walle​t,​ took out his credi​t card and told the cashi​er,​ '​Pleas​e use my card.​ PLEAS​E!​'​ The clerk​ took his credi​t card & began​ to ring up the young​ woman​'​s groce​ries. ​Hold on,' said the gentl​eman.​ He walke​d back to his shopp​ing cart & began​ loadi​ng his own groce​ries onto the belt to be inclu​ded.​ '​Come on people.​ We got three​ kids to help raise​!​'​ he told every​one in line. ​Every​one began​ to place​ their​ groce​ries onto the fast movin​g belt.​ A few custo​mers began​ baggi​ng the food & placi​ng it into separ​ate carts​.​ 'Go back & get two big turke​ys,​'​ yelle​d a heavy​set woman​,​ as she looke​d at the man. '​NO,​'​ yelle​d the man. Every​one stopp​ed dead in their​ track​s. ​The entir​e store​ becam​e quiet​ for sever​al secon​ds.​ '​Four turke​ys,​'​ yelle​d the man. Every​one began​ laugh​ing & went back to work. ​When all was said & done,​ the man paid a total​ of $​1,​646.​57 for the groce​ries.​ He then walke​d over to the side,​ pulle​d out his check​ book,​ & began​ writi​ng a check​ using​ the bags of dog food piled​ near the front​ of the store​ for a writi​ng surfa​ce. ​He turne​d aroun​d & hande​d the check​ to the young​ man 'She will need a freez​er & a few other​ thing​s as well,​'​ he told the man. The young​ man looke​d at the check​ & said,​ '​This is reall​y very gener​ous of you. '​No,​'​ said the man. 'Her broth​er was the gener​ous one. Every​one in the store​ had been obser​ving the odd commo​tion and began​ to clap.​ & I drove​ home that day feeli​ng very Ameri​can. ​We live in the Land of the free,​ becau​se of the Brave​!​!​!​ Remem​ber our Troop​s of Yeste​rday & Today​!​!​!​ A great​ examp​le of why we shoul​d be kind and patie​nt. Kindn​ess is the langu​age the blind​ can see and the deaf can hear. ​May many bless​ings conti​nue to be with you - ALWAY​S!​!​!​ MAY THIS KEEP GOING​.​.​.​. ​IT WILL OPEN A LOT OF EYES,​ HOPEF​ULLY HEART​S,​ & KEEP SOME MOUTH​S SHUT! P.S. Here is a Mumm to go with this. http://www.fubar.com/mum.php?id=468045 Just were do you stand?

I may not be here doing the full time fu- thing let alone doing the fu-thing well. (I work a lot, & am a single mom. Im glad to never be the b*tch that so many can be here.) I try to do what I can, & give to all as best I can. What keeps me from getting to deep into this scene are THE Rude people. & The Caty b*tches that think they run this place, cause they might of been here a month longer then you? Let alone so much more bullsh*t that comes with this scene. I prefer bullsh*t free scene's. The nerve & the balls of so many here that think they are some kind of god er something,... (to me,... that's a serious weirdo with big issues.) So anyone trying to tell you they are this & that to this & that on this site, other then what it says on their pages?... More then likely is full of sh*t! (Toss's out the enema's.) Ive also found that a large majority here are nothing more then liars/fakes. Look @ the #s in the right hand corner of whom is online & how many members there are. FAKES/LIARS Dominate those #'s. That frankly is the biggest thing that keeps me. Few are genuine anymore. Making clear to never be allowed my time. & no that doesn't mean that Im some bigger then you are A-hole like the wanna big somebodies try to be here. I just really have a life that I refuse to waste anytime on bullsh*t & trivial word or whatever negative useless crap people try. Like trying to be a word Nazi just to make yourself feel better? Fck off! Miss spelling is a sign of character & a real person to me. Anyone that tries to act like their most important drive here online is to go around correcting all the wrong word doings & grammar here? Well your totally an A-hole! Yep! Your an asshole. If all you got & apparently need to perpetrate your negativity is something as small as someone spelling something wrong? Well kindly fck off & remove yourself from my page now! I wont take the time for that petty shit! Now a word from our sponsor.......... LOL! Life is short! Live it w/humor & dignity! If you wanna be a supper b*tch? At least give a warning so people know what to expect. Have a great everything! Now back to our regular fu-thing er something,......... This is called "why do I bother"... While you are here, take a peek @ My profile,... stay awhile. Might find something interesting,... or not? Seems that every time I put hope into someone. Im let down. Often left feeling foolish. I express myself when I think it's safe. Only to discover I apparently was never awake. Seem's so many just say what they say. Tell you what you want to hear. Truly just being fake. People ask & wonder why I'm single. Shit like this is why I don't mingle. It's like some men, do all that they can. To work you, get your gard down then eventually, showing you how little they arent a man. Seems every time I put my hope into someone. Red flags come up, bringing my hopes down. I am true, honest, forthright & straight. Seems some mens actions force instigation for a women to litigate. Though women are often the first to betray. Men are often the force behind the migrate. Now wonder so many women go gay. But who do we trust, when women are the easiest to hate. Ive said this before I will say it again. Dont get me wrong I love me a good man. If there is one to be had? Sucks to be me, cause so far Ive only been left to be mad. So all you men whom pay me attention. Don't speak to me if truth is an apprehention. I refuse to have mine or to waste your time. So, please remember, behind these eye's. There is a true an strong mind. This was Written & Brought to you & Html Stolen By: 3715698879.jpg
You're the shit for reading this far by the way! Thank you!
(repost of original by 'BrightEyedArtist' on '2008-07-30 16:44:38') (repost of original by 'Bright Eyed Artist v2' on '2008-08-05 14:44:13')
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