Over 16,513,910 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?

BrightEyedArtist's blog: "ME"

created on 05/21/2007  |  http://fubar.com/me/b84553  |  4 followers

Don't believe him Poem

I wish I could have written this and handed it to my sobbing self many moons ago, but I couldn’t.

I didn’t know then what I know now. So, I share my experiences, strung together as words in a poem, for us place in our heart’s pocket when we’re struggling to find the love we forgot we deserve. Hold it close. Let it guide you.

Don’t believe the boy who says he’ll be there for you with a sweetly charming smile, but never actually shows up.

He’ll say a lot of things; talking is his speciality.

When he talks, he waves a wand, making words into sparkly magic tricks that trip you up all over yourself.

Silky, romantic whispers become mind games become lies.

And, f*ck, he lies so much that he lives in a gossamer web of glossy half-truths, unsure himself, of what’s real and what’s not.

With a lost look in his eyes and confusion stamped all over his heart, he’ll tell you he loves you.

But, he doesn’t.

He can’t.

He’s so empty that he’s forgotten how to love at all.

But, for a second, you’ll fall for his beautiful words and glittering strings of grand illusions.

You’ll give every ounce of your strength, trying so hard to fix his wounds and make him whole.

You’ll do everything, something, anything at all to make him stay.

But, he will never stay—because he was never there in the first place.

It’s okay.

You’ve known in your gut all along that something was wrong.

Believe yourself.

Kiss him hard and let him go.

Yes, let him go.

Then, when you’re ready, seek the man you can believe, whose actions match his words.

He will stand proudly by your side, honored beyond belief to weave his fingers through yours.

He will have integrity tattooed on his soul and radiating pools of golden-flecked kindness in his eyes.

He will be honest as shit with you because he’s honest as shit with himself.

He will not play circus-themed mind games because he’d rather buck up and bare his heart.

He will be brave enough to love you in all your messy, loud, tear-stained, gorgeously scarred glory.

He will not be perfect, but his flaws will compliment yours perfectly.

He exists.

Don’t settle for his cheap, a**hole imposter.

Because you, beautiful soul, you deserve the real thing.


In my 47 or is it 48 years of life. 
With 2 divorces,, countless "break up's" of every sort.
The main thing over all that Ive learned.
IS WHAT N0T TO DO!
AND!
What I like.
#1.
Pure honesty. You can bullshit your boys. Your family ... anyone you want.
ACCEPT Me!

#2.
I SEE THROUGH ALL BULLSHIT!
Though often for either the sake of argument or time. Let alone care. AND if your lucky. Respect for us, you. Or for love its self.
I will "seem", or "ACT", (LIKE MOST MEN),,.. Like I am either not aware. or too stupid to notice/know any better.
When really its sooo ridiculous to me. I choose to ignore it. If over all for you. Its about getting away with something. As if I'm your mom. I'm not. Get over it weirdo. & If I call you weirdo. it doesnt neccessarily mean I don't like or love you.


#3.
I say nothing I do not mean.
I have no agenda behind my words & I do all I can to keep my word, even if it means to admit its impossible for me. Though I always give considerate & ample notice. Cause Im accounable & responsible for my actions big or small. Words too. Being I other then BOOBS. Have no balls. So all I got left. IS MY WORD. 


#4.
I live to be an example. And create while teaching. If I've "touched" on a subject. in every way possible. THEN finally blow up. You've exhausted all avenues in "THAT SUBJECT".

#5.
Im obnoxiously patient and understanding and far to kind when I most certainly shouldn't be.

#6.
If I believe in you. Your words.

I will compromise my own beliefs and some. Just to enable to prove you are as you "STATE".
Possibly selfishly to give you the benefit of doubt just so you can prove me wrong. Which you never do. THUS FAR. Though I refuse to think its impossible for anyone of you falice wearing morons. & stupidly. I hang on hope for you anyway.

#7.
Less your a world renounced "Known", chef. I WILL ALWAYS .. out cook, bake, fry. Do you. Even in BED!
My 35+ years in serving others as well as my husbands and relationships gave me this! 

#8.
I love a perfectly natural hairy chest to the belly bottom down onto the neither. But not onto the back, haunches, back of arms, shoulders hairy, hair, guys. PLUS! I prefer clean cut. Less he's a well kept facial hair master. Love that too! .. Oh an ears, eyebrows and nose. Keep that shit tight boys!  It keeps you looking younger...

by the way! As well as keeping your neither regions kept. It assures (If your clean), BJ's, Interest, ATTENTION,.. touches and Mmmm's! OH and all you comb over's?

Grow up! WE ALL SEE IT! SHAVE THAT SHIT! WHY?
A man comfortable in every regard with him self is far more attractive then a "Donald Trump". Not to mention just how much you drop your idiot for the world to see with your ridiculously stupid comb over, or "Pony tail".

...Those in particular. Tell me you want it from behind. And Your an ego maniac that thinks your kidding people with that gross ugly thing hanging off the back end of a bald head! 

#9.
I never listen to just respond. I listen to hear. DO YOU?

#10.
Integrity is everything. My balls are bigger then every man entered my life. As well as and SOME!

I do as I say & or give fair notice if other wise. Sorry you can only see my balls as the BOOBS, that keeps your attention to me.
Oh & HELLO! I'm 5'1. Anyone taller then that? YES! I can see exactly where your eyes are! ... Dummy! 

#11.
I'm NOT PERFECT! I'm human! Unlike many to most men. WHo supposedly aren't self absorbed, centered, ritiouse. Let alone real or even humble! I don't have pride in my way let alone ego to fuel. I as popeye. "AM WHAT I AM!"

#12.
YES! I own my own power tools and know how to use them! I also believe if a man has never shot a 12 gage. He isnt a man! As well as. If you arent able to keep your women safe, secure. Unabandoned. She will never make you happy. ..EVER!

#13.
I unlike you, men-(majority, who give the good ones bad names)...
Will never keep a thing from you. Big or Small. I learned that even the smallest of pick up lines, innuendo's.
Mean something to the person giving it.
Even if your not my man. Though if you are. I will bring up anything that comes my way. As to avoid court. 
Yes! Ive been to court via a man so infatuate with me.
He tried to take me, my children and my life, all I worked for. From my husband based on innuendo, and some.
YES! Ive been to court over just this! YES! I have a life long restraining order on the fellow who made so many false claims. Fortunately. My then husband. Stood behind me. Knew I was telling the truth. Even when questioned by the judge of a card I had sent the weirdo who brought us to court. Stating and making out/twisting the words in the card, into something more and sexual. My husband knew me well enough that nothing of that sort was even a suggestion or other wise other then me trying to make another human being feel better. After it left me a suicide note and or form of manipulation as his NEAR, fatal attraction as my neighbor who couldn't take me being married. And not with him.
!

#14.
I am old fashion who likes a bit of surprised excitement now and again as well as if Ive NEVER done it. I will just once! Just to make sure if I like it or not. Though at my age. Ive done soooo much. There is but a few on my bucket list left.

#15.
I don't want or am I seeking to get married. I want a partner. A playmate. One who will pull his own. Surprise me. Keep me smiling. Make sure that every hug puts every broken piece in me of that day or of my life. back into its place. I want to feel warm and secure each night I lay my head on your warm soft, fuzzy chest, snuggling to the point of falling asleep with no care in the world that Ive done so drooling on your chest.

#16.
I was not born to serve you. Though should I see you exhausted, ailing, and doing your all to support our "team", I will and some!
Even if it means you & I, Or Even, JUST YOU. get a "happy ending!".

#17.
Know that for where Ive come in this life of mine. I AM & WILL ALWAYS BE MORE UNDERSTANDING. EMPATHETIC, & FAR THEN STRONGER THEN YOU COULD FATHOM. ..Especially for you.

#18.
Im old now. According to the "mainstream & "norm's".

Ive seen, done and most likely. Endured. & Done far more in my years then you have of yours. Especially if your a momma's boy. Though should you be? I will then see exactly how well or not. I'm believed in or how I'll be treated.

#19.
I will never be your burden. I will always mask my pain and put you before me. I figure its a evolutionary thing being all of us started out as bitches. Only the best of us could see it through.

#20.
In every way I physically and emotionally can. Will encourage and support your ideals, dreams and goals. But if not returned? 
Will always be resentful and argumentative when you don't do the same in return.

#21.
I hope to stop here. But Ive a feeling I wont.
After living some of my life helpless in a wheel chair. I learned much about human beings. I got to read your body language and compare it to your words. As well as your actions. I got to see the weak in others when they thought no one noticed. I got to give birth while watching it taken for granted. I got to watch hypocrisy while forced to live it to keep you happy. I get to continue to watch so much more then you think I EVER noticed. 

#21.
Sure! Idea's of grandeur cross my mind. Then the reality of competition, jealousy and power hungry vampires cross my mind and blow my ideas, & delusions out of my mind and back to humbling ground.

#22.
Guess what? If you burp, fart, be and get gross. Did'ja know when doing it in front of your women. She thinks its ok. & doesnt expect to read about how she did nothing different from you in a "Dear Abby" column. Of how to "handle your girls bad habits".  Especially after you've complemented her in the very same bad habits you think is cute or ok to expose her too? 

#23.
Yes. You do not satisfy me in the 20-28 seconds you give me in making "love", Fuq-ing me.

YES! I need to be "Worked up", more.
Yes. My emotions control if Im interested in you.
YES! I want your deep long kiss's! Yes! I want my hair pulled! Yes! I want you to keep doing it and doing it and doing it some more.

#24.
You as a man. can't possibly be over whelmed or stressed out as the women behind you. She has her's PLUS yours. And all that comes with it.

#25. 
Ethics & morals mean a lot to a women like me. So does your word.

#26.
Oh sure shinny bobbles of affection and price. Help me to adore you. But didja know the first thoughts in bad times of you will be that candle lit bath & full body massage.. Let alone the physical feelings you left me with. Mean more then any gold, Platinum or diamond you can give. Those "things", are "announcements" to the world that are exposed to them. Just how YOU feel about me. Didja know that?! 

#27.
Yes! I mind how you destroy my kitchen "trying" to cook your "famous",.. whatever's. But your "whatevers", is what lets me clean up your mess!

#28.
MOST men go out of their way to prove their heartless monsters if only to protect just how very fragile you truly are. I personally... see right through it! But will fake you as well as you do me. In hiding it. Simply because thats exactly just how you want it.

#29.
Having worked mainly and ONLY in the "Man's world". I know exactly how you think. More so then the "average" girl/women. Im not just being a big mouth ego maniac over this idea. Im living proof. Why else would I have power tools that I know how to use?
Because far too many of you men insulted my intelligence, be-littled me and treated me so insignificantly. For either whats in my wallet. Blouse or pants. That buying my own power tools and doing it myself is far easier then dealing with you!

#30.
The one thing I have witnessed ALL my life. Though most men make them selves out as "THE VICTIM".
No excuse is bigger then you being the lack of a man you make yourself to be when you play the blame game or piggy back by tossing someone beneath the very bus your driving. While lying to your buddies about the real arguments YOU actually started and then embellishing on just for your ego or self centered fragile ways.

#31.
No vice is that of which bigger then the love and adoration you MUST have for the women in your life for your success. 

#32.
Anyone can fuck. It's everything else thats difficult. Which is mainly you being the real little girl in the relationship.

#33.
If we as women accept you as the asshole, and even in some cases childish manipulator that you are. It is not us who has a problem with your antics when our patience is finally pushed its limits. Its your problem with who youve made sure we see of you. We're comfortable in knowing who and what you are. It's only you who has the issue and discomfort.

#34.
When you are my age. And all of a sudden "New things", .. "Happenings", begin. Power of deduction since your presence.
It isnt hard for us to grasp. Its you has the issues with your bullshitting. AND then just how long you THINK you can continue it.

#35.
If you have a problem with me knowing your friends. family. Co-workers. What else are you hiding? Again. Bottom line.. but in the second line of the above in #34. And if that simple language is too ruff? Again... power of deduction!

#36.
Im looking and watching and seeing when you think no one is.

#37.
When your accusing me of things that would never cross my mind. As you accuse me. My mind is telling me what your doing.

#38.
When you've everything bad to say about your ex. And or Why you don't see your child.
You're telling me more then what your saying about you. before your complaining or explaining the down falls of what put your ex relationship into crisis. I respect more about a man's honesty in his part in things then the story he tells me of his ex's.

#39.
When your showing off your jealousy over my new fan dangled electronic, car, tools, what ever. Your telling me that those things are more important then I am to you. Or that I'm JUST YOUR TOOL.

#40.
When you take ownership of something you never laid eyes on till you saw it in my things. Thats me enabling you to feel more complete. Even if it makes you seem and look like a theif & Liar. Thats called COMPROMISE.

#41.
When you take all credit for something admired by many. When you know the key of it wasnt even your idea let alone the details of it being completed. Your showing off just how weak and egotistical you actually are. 

#42.
No one respects a man that doesnt back up his words or his women.

#43.
When you become a financial burden while lying to your buddies about what is and isnt yours. Though Youve done nothing to contribute aside of being a pain in the ass. Cry baby. Fit throwing child. Been given whatever it takes to shut you up. Yes! Your a spineless coward.

#44.
When children are around. No matter what you say and do. They are absorbing all you give good and bad. But especially what their mother is willing to endure from you. And then what their mother will see happen in their lives. If she puts up with it.

#45. 
While showing off and screaming "Look at me honey!". I did the dishes! 
Though they are all still dirty. After she re- washed them all. Did you give her that gold star you insisted on?

#46.
When your home is immaculate. Bills paid. Laundry, dishes done. Every "home issue", resolved. Solved. & fixed. Food cooking and your home is smoldering in the delightful smells of home cooking. Did you grab your women up and kiss her passionately and let he know, hear and feel appreciated for even being there for you?

#47.
Did you take out the garbage, check the mail. Sweep the outside of your shared home or mowed the lawn. With out being told or asked? Yeah. cause those are things a real man does so as to avoid leaving it upon their women aside of all else left upon her.

#48. 
No one can make or break you then the true love, loyalty and devotion of a women truly in love with you. 

#49.

A real women will never go to bed angry with you. Or with hold sex or affection. Let alone use it as a tool. A real man will never be a burden but the strength that holds the shelter and security together. 

#50.

Never under estimate the power of any women. Tom Boy, or not. Not a single soul on this earth. Survived birth with out one! 

ALCOHOLISM:

ALCOHOLISM: The truest of inhumane cruelty Ive ever had to be subject to. The delusions of grandeur the lack of will towards responsibility, the inability to see exactly what's going on, let alone able to be honest with them selves or anyone around them. I can only hope to leave this earth never knowing another one. I simply loath it & them,.. Thank you alcoholics of my life. Thank you. Yes! You've made an impact! Congratulations!

to all my lifes lies...

All thats never been validated or resolved. All my lifes pain, stays consistent by the lack of un resolved issues. Those who insist on living their daily LIE. Not a one of them can look me in the eye. Not a one has the guts to stand strong and own their actions. For them I shed a tear. For them, they make me cry. For me, at least Im still alive. For me at least my life is not a lie.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1mPY9z4kvQ&feature=related

...

All my life, Ive never felt as though I belong. Confused on a constant. Unsure of who is or what is right or wrong. Only ever having movies or Tv, I learned to only trust what I could see. Words being nothing less then empty. Especially if coming from me. Beginning from birth, So those around me have made certain to agree. Always feeling as if I will "pop"! Never finding the right words, & that factor never seeming to stop. To little to late is clear & always the fate to me. Ive know idea what it is I expected. Only that the warm loving closeness is all I ever wanted. The ideal stereo type is what I thought was right & all this pent up anger in me is due to that never being in my sight. Happiness is all I seek. My choices made directly to become the ideal stereo type. Having watched all my life, other's having & doing everything I ever wanted. All due to their loving families. I felt for sure when I began to set my mind to my life's plan. That the circle that of which I come from would be broken. Greed & selfishness & lack of humanity, the plethora of crimes my eyes have seen. The blood line I come from being nothing less then obscene. Good intentions, I'm sure where somewhere. Though for me they were eluded & the lesser of all, used as a tool, it shoved down my throat. Neglected & unheard, intentionally miss guided. I'm your personal patsy. Jaw work creating more & making it happen. This blood line, I come from, riddled with gross humanity, lie's & secrets. Validation, acceptance of responsibility during hypocrisy. They only come foreword when your making more money or become a small celebrity. Delude the truth to gain personal gain, its politics & seems to be the way of true humans. Humanity truly being a farce, every last wonderful actually being an accident. & brainiacs we are not. Do as I say not as I do, though in life's plan, it often forces you to become untrue. As genuine as the heart can be, idea's & lie's seem be the prevailed & what all want to see. Life full of heartache & confusion, who is really full of delusion. I question myself more then all else. Simply due to my entire life's doubts. Word semantics is a bail out, the one thing the deceptive hold onto for their way out. Though be you a man of your word. Whats that mean really? Not a soul in my life Ive found that I could trust freely. Inexperience & ego in the way, who isn't there, that we cant offend? So when does it stop let alone begin. When the misunderstood is allowed to be heard & live again. I can't be alone in my ideas, I can't be the only one whom has lived feeling these things. As unique as humanity is suppose to be, I find it difficult to believe since all Ive been taught is how much of a nothing I & that fact eludes me. Everyones perspectives is what seems to be the truth. Though black & white is what is always mute.

Something I Wrote

You've put a skip to my step. Kept my mind wrapped up. Given me hope. Irony is just how much Ive missed you though we've never met. To hear your voice sooths me so. To know I've your heart. Allows me to dream again or even just future trip. I can't wait to meet you, let alone see you. To be able to touch just your face. Makes me giddy, the thought of it elates me. As each day progress's. I can't help but wonder just how much of this is infatuation or simply it being what it is? For now I will ignore that, but wont put it out of my mind. I really truly wish,... meeting you. Will be my last time. As I will be yours,.. & you will be mine. All we have between us are miles & time. ...

-Slave

 


 I hear you distinctly, as you walk away & under your breath you call me a bitch. Irony is how much closer you are to it.
Recognitions or validation of your own fits. And the deep impact, due to the result of your lack of responsibility in owning it.
Back & forth you go, but only when it serves you. Stirring the pot. When others are at their weakest. You take their confidence when they come to you to vent. You betray & use their words as tools for a tactic. Ignoring the impact. Compounding the issues. Digging deeper. Stepping aside, avoiding what you created. Being jaded & enforcing/inflicting others w/it. Insisting on making them taste the very jaded indifference you taste on a constant, while desperately you insist upon others to keep the very taste you keep on a constant in the back of their mouths. Cause you cant get it out of yours. Pick & praud, seemingly as a kind trusted kindred. The very way you like it. To gain your tools of manipulation. Only to make any one regret it. Wishing they never trusted. Hating you for jading them. As they watch you torment them, degrade them & insist,...insist, just how you should never been/be trusted. Simply cause you pretend to be a trusted & kind kindred. When, what to you, is nothing less then survival. Youre dependence on all others life long wrongs is imparative. & your only way to make it or to get along. One after another your back & forth & should they talk seriously? Stand their in utter contempt? Accepting what you in every way created & refuse the end. Deserving result, when those you betray bring back to you, every ounce of every one you betrayed. Anything they decide to vent, you more then deserve it. You've earned it, the deep jading youve insisted on fueling. Only after seeding it. Inhumane & gross amount on multiple levels of contempt riddled with resentment. You made that. Its your tools of manipulation, all out of survival. You dont even love yourself! Its impossible for you to truly love anyone else. Yeah,. you kick em when their down. Now thats grossly shallow & some.

...
...

create_purple.jpglaunch_purple.jpgget_purple.jpg Photobucket Photobucket
I've a passion for art & music. I enjoy my freedom of being me. I enjoy the things I adore. I seek nothing less then appreciation of my vast appetite towards art & music. I'm far more open minded then, I may seem. Especially in regards to the things we human beings do to express our selves, ... in our art,.. being art or music though they are one in the same to me. Word semantics are a must for the shallow & closed minded. Such is life to have to cater to such dramatics. I can only hope to be appreciated as much as I appreciate.
Relationship is based on friendship, admiration & approval of each others wishes. Lack of regard for each other and hope is going to shape into dejection than this can slowly grow into loathing. I am aware of all my partner’s weakness but we should be able to bear some bad qualities. Share and persuade interests, values and desires to prolong each other identity. Respecting each others estimation by giving adequate time to demonstrate ideas explicitly. Don’t criticize each other among public & try to forget and ignore mistakes. Living in matching standards & life style which counterpart your personality & enhance your relationship. Cultivate your relationship with respect to acceptable path for both. Mutual respect with Love will only structure lasting sturdy respectable relationship.
last post
8 years ago
posts
77
views
52,030
can view
everyone
can comment
everyone
atom/rss

other blogs by this author

 12 years ago
The Fu-scenes
official fubar blogs
 8 years ago
fubar news by babyjesus  
 13 years ago
fubar.com ideas! by babyjesus  
 10 years ago
fubar'd Official Wishli... by SCRAPPER  
 10 years ago
Word of Esix by esixfiddy  

discover blogs on fubar

blog.php' rendered in 0.0849 seconds on machine '189'.