I have lost a very special person to me. A friend, brother, mentor, role model; he was a person who helped me to find my importance. I looked up to him, wanted to be just like him. He was the youngest of all of us, yet everyone respected him. I have lost Lil J@y, the boy everyone wanted to be.
When I first met Jason, I was 12 or 13, something to that effect, I might have been older. I was working a little bit. In my attempts to emulate him, I went to the store with Marsha and we looked at leather jackets. The one I wanted was like $100. Marsha was the only one who knew I was getting one. We came home with it and my mother was like ummm.. she was not sure what to do. We however knew exactly what to do: we marked all over it; I got the dog collars, the spiked hair and became more like my friend, Jason.
When we were young, we used to hang out at 4th and Main St. in Royal Oak, The Church of Scientology used to be there, now there is a parking lot that crosses along side the rail road track.
Every time Jason was locked up, I always wanted to see him. Whenever he did wrong, I felt to blame for it. I had a great sense of responsibility when it came to Jason. I wanted to protect him and never let him leave my side. I also wanted to learn the drums from him, he amazed me. The boy could make music out of anything, as is appearent in the music he wrote and created, which we found on his myspace. There is a song called Desperate; it is a beautiful song that Jason wrote. Another song is called Railroad Man.
The things that I never did, the adventures I never took and the things I never learned. I was supposed to learn how to play the Guitar from Dave, I was supposed to learn how to hop trains from Jason. Damn it I am gonna learn how to be a magician from Elton even if it kills me.
There are many good things Jason taught me. He taught me not to judge people for what they appear to be, but to embrace them regardless. Someone always has it worse then the person you are meeting.
Jason taught me just because you are different on the outer apperance it does not change the person that you are and how you care for others.
Rosie came to my surprise party three years ago to receive a surprise of her own. We were at Caesarland for my birthday party. Jason was playing skee ball, and earned enough tickets to buy two plastic rings. These rings became their engagement rings. Not only did they get their rings that day, but it was also the day that Rosie realized that she truly loved Jason.
There are so many things Jason taught me about life which has made me a better person. I learned how to accept people at face value, I learned how to appreciate people for the things they do.
The hardest thing to do is to see the URN and know the boy who is there.
Certain things I want to do. Certain things that are hard to do.
Certain things I will cry when I do. But most important I will dress like you because I love you.
