Hello There's blog: "Me"

September 6th, 2007 I only got like 4 hours sleep I was up talking to Kathy... Oh yeah! So my phone rings at like 10am, and it is like my friend the reverend. She says that she has a letter from her husband and the engagement ring is left behind. Mind you also I never leave my phone on ring but tonight I left my phone on ring and it went off like 3x in a 5 minute period My first thought was like umm...... Suicide, At the same time all this stuff is going on I am talking to a wonderful lady Kathy. Kathy and I were supposed to go out for lunch in the afternoon after talking all night the night before. But we did not, I instead am looking for a suicidal drug addict who stole his wifes van and sold it for his own personal amusement. He has a hotel room for a week and planned on killing himself. This is the first time I met The Reverends Husband and The Reverend is talking to me telepathically on how to bring her husband out of this stage of where he wants to kill himself and get him to talk to us. So about 6 hours go by and we are making a little bit of progress he finally admits to us he has a problem and wishes to seek help. We leave the motel and take everyone back home for some much needed sleep, I then go ahead and finally go on my date with Kathy at 10:30 pm @ BW3 September 7th 5am the next morning, I am still with Kathy and I decide that I have to go home and take my parents to the airport so they can go to Florida. 8am rolls around and I still have not gotten any sleep and I have to go the Reverends house and watch her son so that we can admit my friend into rehab. The Reverend comes back about 6 hours later and finally at about 2:30 pm I go home. Kathy tells me to get some sleep but I had plans, we went to City Club along with my friend Dave and his date Jennifer (Who later gets admitted to the Psych Ward) Yeah two psych ward admits in less than a week. To The City Club we go. September 8th Kathy and I wake up at about 10:00 am we are at the apartment after a great night at City Club & Kathy goes to work and I get some sleep, take care of my dogs and take care of Kathy at work. Back to the City Club we go Jennifer drinks 3 pitchers of beer and a few mixed drinks and ends up in the bathroom for about 2 hours and Chernoble takes her home with Raven. September 9th Kathy works and I hang out at her work a little bit, I bring her food and just hang out with her and make sure she is ok September 10th -12th Counseling With The Reverend and working through our issues I come to grips with the loss of my best friend Jason and realize he was an addict and addicts are not bad people, they are just sick.. My road to helping The Reverend truly begins and she teaches me how to help her and her husband. Jennifer Gets Admitted to Psych ward with help of police after telling us she had intentions of killing herself with pills. September 13th - September 18th Spending lots of time with The Reverend and Kathy is in Philadelphia working on getting her life in order and working. God I miss her so much. Kathy comes home at about 6:30 am the morning of September 18th after getting lost in our land to the north Canada. Kathy comes home we are both afarid of what being apart will do to us and she comes home and we are closer than ever. The reverend then says that we will be living together anyday and married within 6 months.. God .... I see Kathy with no makeup and I need to keep my control. September 19th - September 21st More time with The Reverend making more progress about her husband and at about prolly 250 hours of contact time with our group (that is right) (being at The Reverends House for about 250 hours that is an average of about 15 to 16 hours a day over this period of time) My mother meets my girlfriend and says she is a slut, tramp, whore and everything else in between. September 21st in the AM I confront her on this issue and she says she never wants to get close to another girl after what Danielle did to me. (Get Over It Mom.. I Did) (We also confronted Jenn on her addictive behavior that took about 9 hours) September 21st 5:30 pm Kathy finally comes to my house.. We agree we are not hanging out with anyone til monday the 24th just being by ourselves. That is how I have spent my last 2.5 weeks Peace Out Ken

I just talked to Kathy, she left New York about 8pm which means that she will be home at her house at about 4 a.m. I will be very happy to see my wonderful girlfriend. She will just curl up in bed with me and go to sleep, I do not want to know when she will be home, I love surprises, Kathy omg, she is the best girlfriend a guy could ask for. I truly understand myself and I am in touch with my feelings and I know who the real Ken is and I love it.

Kathy has been gone for 2 days and I miss her like crazy, I am hanging out at the apartment and I am very calm and happy but I miss my girlfriend. She is having a very good time in Philadelphia, she is seeing her daughter and her foster daughter also. I told her to not be in a hurry to come back home because she does not get a chance to go home that often, so i must be patient because all my friends and family are here and Kathy must travel 800 miles to see her friends and family so I understand. Kathy comes home early tuesday morning and then I have to go to a funeral we will go, not an exciting way to spend your first day home, but she is doing everything Danielle WOULD NOT! For that I am very happy I do not have to feel like I am sneaking around or lying about anything because Kathy and I having aquarius in our charts like to do the same thing with each other. (We can communicate with our minds and for the first time in 10 years I do not have to be someone I am not, I can be me and no one else.) My friends have told me that they like me much better in this relationship then anyone I have been in before. If you are interested in seeing pictures please check out my profile I am sure there are a few. Ken

Yes a week has gone by and here is what has gone on. I have finally come to grips with Jason's death, I have realized he was an addict and addicts are not bad people. I have had to admit 2 friends to rehab this week for addiction issues and I am in the processs of helping my close friend come clean. Also I have a new girlfriend and she is like awesome, I can not describe how she makes me feel. But we talk about everything and we are totally open. My friend The Reverend Ami says we will be married almost any day and that I will be moving in with her in at least 6 months or less which is cool. I have realized for the first time in 10 years what it is like to love and be loved.

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I speak of my friend a lot, but sometimes it is better to get the point of view from someone who is a good enough friend to tell you the things about addiction you do not want to hear. I lost a dear friend in October of 06 and you can call him an addict, a junkie, a waste of life, If i hear those words come out of your mouth in front of me you are looking for a fight. I will instantly close myself up and tell you politely to go play with yourself in the backyard. Everyday I run across people who are in need of help, working in Detroit I see a lot of homeless people. My childhood runnings i hung out with a lot of people later who became alcoholics and drug addicts, but now I run across a different problem wanting to support that person who is an addict. I am reminded of the pain I feel that my friend is gone and he was an addict. It really did not bother me, the world viewed him as a junkie, as a waste of life, and I have had a chance to spend some time with someone who the world may view in this same way, I do not know! The part of me that wants to date this person asks myself why, the other part says I want to help this person and be the supporting person that this person needs. Then reality sets in, Do I want to live with the pain that is worse then the pain I feel of losing my best friend. A pain that has me in counseling, could I live with a pain worse then that from someone who says they love me, someone who one day could be a life partner and will hurt me to support her habit, will she ever get so depressed she turns to the bottle and drinks herself into alcohol poisioning and I have to take her to the hospital for a stomach pump, will i find that the bills are not paid and that we are overdrawn on our bank account. I do not really think I want to live this life of pain it is far worse because I lost my friend from something I could have saved him from myself, do I want to sleep with this everyday and have it be a lifestyle. This I can not support, It scares me to one day think If i want to date a person who is an addict the life I will lead. That is all!

It is 5am. Ask a random person some random questions and I will answer honestly because I will most likely not meet most people who leave me questions to answer. I will answer anything from Christianity To Gay / Lesbian Whatever strikes your fancy. I need to start writing more and putting more of my thoughts on paper even if it is virutal paper. Ken

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