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sexysarcasticcowgirl's blog: "Me"

created on 04/28/2008  |  http://fubar.com/me/b211213
Being happy should not be this hard, Should it? I mean it seems that the more fake smiles i flash and the nicer i am, Karma bites me in the ass harder and harder, i mean i try and help out everyone i can i always smile and i am always there for anyone to lean on when they need a shoulder, i have always jumped and ran when any of my buddies needed me, i could be so mad that i couldn't see straight but if they called me i always went to help it didn't matter how pissed i was at them! But lately it seems i have gotten into this i dont give a shit mode! not about them not about me not about anything! i would much rather be alone then with my friends...drinking a hell of alot more then i should, starting fights with even my closest friends! i know that this person i have become sure as hell aint me and i dont like myself being that way i just cant help it sometimes..... well with all that being said at least i feel better even if i dont get any advise :)

Why

I just dont understand why it is that there is this one certain person i can't stand not talking to him but could never tell him that!! and then i have another that wont leave me alone i started treating him like crap! but then i realized i didnt like it when this one certain person does that stuff to me! so now i am nice to him and he keeps telling me he loves me! i feel bad cause i will never feel that way for him...and i want this other guy but he just dont feel the same way for me!!!my point being why is that the one you want dont want ya back and the one you dont treats you like a Queen!
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