MNman's blog: "Matters of the heart..."

My dog of 12 years just died a bit ago. 1am. She will be missed so much. Had her since she was a pup. So many good times. She was a big part of our family. A much loved companion. She was not only a part of my life but also a part of my parents life when I couldn't keep her where I lived. She was also a part of my sisters life where she lived a few years with her husband and 3 boys. During family get togethers she was always there with my 2 boys and my other 7 nephews(ranging from ages 0-8.) She watched them like a mother hen...she was also a pony to a few of them. She would lay there and let the youngest kids crawl over her, pull her tail, and suck on her ears. In the end she suffered from hip dysplasia(sp) and the last few days she had a hard time walking and would sometimes fall...she finally called it quits today and I knew it was coming. I was able to pet her and let her know that it was ok to leave us...and that she was loved and would be missed. She will always be remembered. R.I.P. My dearest friend. --------------------- A friend sent this to me last week when my mother and my sister and I were thinking about putting her to sleep. Thank you friend. Author Unknown Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together…

well i had to take some time off to get my head straight from a lot of bs and drama here on ct but after a few days i realised it wasnt ct but my own attitude and thoughts on things. seems like i lost touch with reality for a while and it took me some time to get back. i guess a person needs sleep to keep their grip on reality lol anyways im back and refreshed.

The knocking of fists together as a greeting, or form of respect. He gave me a dap when we greeted.

how many of you remember the movie "meet joe black" with brad pitt, where he was death on vacation and wanted to know what it felt like to be human and feel things. anyways remember the older daughters husband how he caused his father in law to be forced into retirement.... ya i know get to the point... well the part right before the party he was sitting at the bar with joe black telling joe about how him and the daughter got together and how much he loved her... joe asked him "how do you know she loves you?" **listen good people** he said that he knows she loves him because he is free to be himself...she knows everything there is about him. all his faults...all his strengths and all his weaknesses and she loves him in spite of all this. this makes him free in every sense of the word to love her with everything he is...EVERYTHING. how many of you want that kind of love? thats what i am looking for. forget holding things back...let me pour myself into her...every drop. let me love her with all that i am. every fiber of who i am...without fear of the past...without fear of her finding out something ive held back from her. i want a woman that i can be open like that with...and i want her to be the same with me. how perfect would that be?????

i wish there was a way to not feel something for someone. i wish there was a way to stop yourself from falling...knowing that there is going to be pain when it all ends. the more you fall the more you know its going to hurt and the harder it is to stop. the whole time your falling you have the hopes that maybe this fall wont end and this was the right cliff to jump off of...ya you may bang against the sides once in a while but thats ok, your still falling. then it happens...you hit the bottom and the world shatters and falls around you and you wonder why you took a chance. you know the answer even tho you asked the question...you want/need to be loved and to have that is worth any risk. doesnt matter where you find it or where it finds you at...you want it. you take the bait knowingly and you run with it... soon the pain will pass and and you will again look for that elusive thing called love. so i will sit here with my many rolls of duct tape and my shattered shards of my heart and try to put it back togther again....