submissive women! Long rides on my Motorcycle....horses..my classic vehicles,auctions,flea markets,yard sales..oh and did I mention submissive women?


There are a lot of places to go on the net if you have a kink, and
with BDSM this is doubly true. One of the fastest growing areas of on-line
D/s is the humble chat room where people can meet and chat--in real
time--to people from the other side of the world. This has given rise to
many deep and meaningful relationships with people you have never met face
to face, and now there are an ever-growing army of cyber subs and cyber
Dom/mes. In many ways the chat room mirrors real life; there are feuds and
fights, and friendships and affairs. The only difference is that many of
these happen in a daily basis in chat rooms!

I've had a fair bit of experience with chat rooms, and for the past
year or so have been visiting a web community which houses many D/s
people. I have had a chance to watch their cyber lives unfolding before my
eyes like a many stranded soap opera. Much as it doesn't behoove any of us
to categorize people, there certainly is a category system in place in
virtual D/s land. In the very broadest terms you have two main categories
of people within the community; "The Real Lifers" and "The Cybers". By
real lifers I mean those who have had BDSM experiences in their everyday
lives, be they those who are in a 24/7 relationship with the Dom/sub of
their choice or those who are actively seeking a D/s partner.


The Cybers consist of those people who in real life are 100% vanilla,
but maybe with a deep interest in the D/s lifestyle. The vast majority of
those seem to have a good understanding of how it is to live 24/7 as a
Dominant or submissive person, and whilst their knowledge may or may not
be limited they genuinely have an interest in the way in which many of us
chose to live. There is sadly though, another section whom we refer to as
players or wannabes.

These guys and gals usually stumble across the BDSM rooms, sit and
watch for a bit and then go away and return as Master Whatever or
cutie_lil_subbie and role play their way through Dungeons and Dragons
meets Dynasty. Eventually MW meets up with c_l_s and within the hour they
are collared and the model sub and Dom. Except it doesn't end there. MW
decides he's bored with just the one sub, but this girl is clingy and he
doesn't need a fight, so off he goes and registers a new handle she won't know...
heck why stop at two when he can have a dozen!

So, MW becomes Sir Jerk and SJ meets a nice quiet sub, who is new to BDSM
and badly needs an experienced Master to train and guide her through her
first tentative steps. "No problem" says SJ, "I'm a very experienced Dom,
I will train you, little one." Not a problem you think, well bear in mind
that SJ has been a Dom now for all of two weeks.

So the new sub is being trained how to bow deeply and respectfully to
any set of capital letters that happen into the BDSM rooms (including that
well respected dominant "HardHorneyAnd19InchesLong"), to serve a drink
with just the correct amount of wiggling and thigh showing and to refer to
A/all W/with T/the P/proper capitalization. Not surprisingly the new sub
is by now a little sick of this "real" BDSM. Eventually what happens is
that someone discovers the true identity of SJ (shock, horror, gasp) and
many people get hurt. But fear not gentle reader, because by now c_l_s has
been through another four Velcro collars and MW/SJ has reinvented himself
yet again!

I make a plea to you all now.. do any recognize yourselves in the
above? Some of you will, because I have taken that from an amalgamation of
many different stories that I have seen unfold on line. If you're cyber,
that's fine! But please no matter whether you are cyber only or a real
lifer, stick to honesty both with yourself and with those who you interact
with. The people who you meet in chat are REAL people with REAL feelings..
they're not just little computers with whom you can play. And show
respect, be you upper or lower case, for those who DO live the lifestyle
24/7... it's our choice of lifestyle, one we hold dear, not some
tremendous game for adult with some kinky cyber sex thrown in. Believe me
real life D/s has little to do with bowing and nodding to A/all!