I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so much.
And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never
figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I have
never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of
turmoil when it hears the words "I do."
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT????!!! What was
that?!" So, she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
hear. "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled
look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The
very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We
went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big department
store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very
expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll
just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a
pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked
out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She
must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think
she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't
even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear. Let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted
out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT???!!!
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look
like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I
am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.