Thoughts to Ponder...
*I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. And tomorrow isn't looking good either.
*I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
*Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
*Young at Heart. Slightly Older in Other Places.
*Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the hell is the ceiling?!"
*Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will show
you a man who can't get his pants off!
*We have a strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm
wonderful, or should that be I'm strange and you're wonderful?
*Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether.
*If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
*It's gonna be like threading a needle with a haystack.
*The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
*Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?
*Not one shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
*The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
*I put the "fun" in dysfunctional.
*Life is like a box of chocolates. It's full of nuts.
*All I ask is that you treat me no differently than you would the Queen.
*Does "anal retentive" have a hyphen?
*I get plenty of exercise -- jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
*Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.
*Does vacuuming count as Aerobic Exercise?
*I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
*I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
*I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
*Just remember, no matter where you go, there you are. --
*It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission.
*There are two rules for ultimate success in life. 1. Never tell everything you know.
*Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get
you................
*I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
*When I get to where I'm going, will somebody please tell me where I am?
*Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
*Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste
good with ketchup.
*Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
*The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
*Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will Whiz on your computer.
*Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car
