Maji's blog: "Majikisms..."

I remember this day well, and all its somberness for those that perished. And in the days/weeks after that, I saw a unity amongst strangers that I had never seen before. Everywhere I went, this sudden awareness and compassion for the fellow man, this bond between everyone, in the wake of what had been done to "us" as a whole. Traffic problems subsided with cars yielding to others and not raging on each others bumper. People in the grocery line would say "go ahead sir, you have only 3 items and I have a cartful". People waved, spoke and acknowledged each other on the street despite being total strangers in this large metropolis. Inner city youths even took a reprieve from shooting one another daily. I saw many random acts of kindness, and suddenly all the differences and the walls between us within our borders seemed to come down. And I remember wondering "how long will this last? How long before this unity wears off, and we all settle back into our self servedness and complacency?" And as thought, in the coming months I saw it dwindle to just a glimmer, and soon all the we's turned back into me's. And now every year, I see just a little glimpse of it, ...for one day. And then the sun sets and rises again, and we are once again, alone and apart in the crowd. Maji

Im not really impressed with this whole big attitude on the internet, a venue where everyone is free to hype themselves up as whatever they wish. If you are blowing people out with your words on your page before they can even get a chance to say hi to you, letting them know "how its gonna be", and what criteria they have to meet and what actions they have to perform before you will ackowledge them as a human being, ....to me really just exemplifies your urgency to relay to people that you have ultimate control in this arena, which the need to point that out would only indicate a great lack of it elsewhere..i.e. real life. If your internet experience only exist to compensate for what you wish you were percieved as, then it and your novelty are surely destined to be short lived, and can only be maintained by invoking the curiosity of a steady flow of strangers and slight aquaintances, kept at arms reach not to see what you fear is the less interesting and unfathomably normal reality. The cliche "attitude is everything" refers more to your personal outlook and disposition with yourself, not something that you feel you to have over embellish in your display. Always remember, there are real people on the other end, with very real, very normal everyday lives, who also could easily put some compensating coat of paint on their personality to make themselves appear more than they are, but they choose not to, so they wont have to maintain it, and avoid the inevitable chipping and peeling and general weathering that goes along with it. And in that, they will benefit from knowing that those that take an interest in them, are seeing and liking who they really are. If who you really are is in fact the totally self centered brat that you may portray, then the aformentioned doesnt apply, because you are only seeking those that serve your purpose, and tell you what you want to hear, and thereby you cant complain about not havin anyone of any real substance....but surely you will anyway. Peace, Maji

Her love fills me to brink, her smile grants reprieve by eclipsing every injustice of the world, her presense seemingly magnetizes all the shattered pieces of myself that linger lost, drawing them together, and for a time, I am whole once again...my daughter, is home for the holidays.

After pacing the floor all day, bristled with such excitement that I feel I may just die, it is time and I am finally leaving for the airport. My kid is coming home for Xmas!!!!!!

"Hostility is a psychic boomerang" -Howard the Duck, 1986 I find it ironic that people that outwardly attest to how much they loathe drama, are the most guilty for exploiting it. Someone says or does something deemed socially unnacceptable, they are rewarded with hoardes of free publicity by those that claim to be offended, and they lower themselves by retailiating with an equally viscious intent, making them no better than the alledged offender. This appears to me that they need the turmoil more than they claim. This is even more compounded when the positive energy directed towards them goes unanswered, unnappreciated, ignored or otherwise wadded up in the masses, but you let one person offend them, and that person will be the subject of all their attention. What kind of incentive is that for being a nice person? Interesting that...

Im a people watcher, a huge human nature buff, so I do take the time to read profiles. Be sure that what you write represents a literal concept of how you wish to be percieved. If your profile says "Careful, Im a bitch"...please dont come chase me down and insinuate that "I'm" unsociable because I didnt say hi when I visited your page. I simply took your took your word for it, and moved along.

The holidays are a culmination of many swirling dipositions for me. As I prepare for my trip back to my hometown tomorrow be with family, I look forward to the relaxed soulfilling effects of being surrounded by those that you need be nothing but yourself, just your presense is beneficial, and visa versa. I look forward to throwing back a few with my Pop and heckling each other endlessly, and basking in the unconditonal love and calm warmth that radiates from my grandmother. And thereafter, traveling to my moms, and relishing in her rationality and reassurring words and perspectives about virtually everything, and at some some point trying to abscond my brother from his sometimes turmultuous household and disappearing for awhile without permission, deliberately unnaccounted for, and unanswering, just to piss his overbearing spouse off, because he needs that and I dont mind being the bad guy, and thats what brothers are for. But a loom hovers also. Returning to my roots puts highlight on mortality, and the realism of this point in life, and its reflection on the past...my triumphs and failures highly visible, the exposure of being in the proximity of those that have witnessed and/or are privvy to all, as opposed to the anonimity of aquaintances and coworkers of everyday life. But my melancholy mostly resides in the presense of empty chairs, the seats at the table of those that have passed on from this world, and highlighting the realization of how tremendous that void really is for me, wishing so much I could talk to them just once more and let them know how much they are missed. Being forced to dwell on how that circle has decreased in the past years and my mental preparation for those yet to be missed. And then there are the empty chairs of those that are still of this world, but in all respects have "passed on" in way of their presense and identity to that circle. The still slight embarassment I feel having to show up alone, without my own family unit, having in recent years dissolved, albeit out of my hands, yet still the wake of a significant and unnecesary failure, and bears little relief to the guilt and inadequecy I feel that the elders dont get to see and visit with my child on this occasion, that they have to settle for just me. But, as I must, I will whether thru as always, and embrace the reflections of both the happy and sad, as they all have there place and purpose. I will laugh at the present, cry at the past, and show my cherishedness for those that I have left. I'll pass my kid around on the phone, I'll have a cigar at my granpas grave, just me and him, and I'll visit old friends of whom I am to find...and all other aside, Im gonna enjoy the hell outta some real North Carolina cookin, make a complete pig of myself, and lay in the den and groan while I watch the Dolphins hopefully destroy the Lions! If ya made it this far, I wish all of you fullfilling and safe Thanksgiving for you and yours. Peace, Maji

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. -Mark Twain However, many people proport that kindness is this unique gift that they bestow upon you. Those that do, often take a posture that they have done you this great favor, and in their minds they are convinced that they have, and they will congratulate themselves, namely because its above and beyond how they normally treat people.

I think its important to leave some room for people to compliment you better than you do yourself. If they are outdone upfront, inevitably they will cease to try.

I was brainburping again, and check this out... Wouldnt it be like the shit, if you could convince all your friends to put one picture of themselves each into one folder, then have them go out and implore to all their mutual aquaintances that they must come by and publicly choose just one of them as the best, and compound that by hinging the importance of thier friendship upon that very choice. And no cheating either, you must glorify the esteem of just one whilst alienating the rest. We cant have people going around complementing others for their individual appeal, that would too much resemble a compassion for humanity, and who wants that! But who am I..what do I know? Lets test this obsession...next time youre in Walmart, once you get to the checkout and have everyone trapped behind you, take a moment and announce to everyone within earshot "Listen up bitches, I just want yall to know, that I am currently in the top ranking to take first place in the Blah Blah contest on lostcherry.com!, and by the time I get home I should have this shit in the bag baby!"...And when people start to stare and blink, groan, shield thier children, or mumble "cmon lady" (which is pretty much the same reaction as people reading the bulletins)...simply bite everyones head off by screaming "fuck all yall, jealous bitches..Im part of the Blah Blah posse, yall better recognize!", then storm out the store. Chances are, most people will drop everything, and chase you to your car while their ice cream gets soft, just for the opportunity to apologize for ever doubting you. Seriously, give it a shot and post back here, Id love to hear about it.