So its been a looooong time since I wrote a blog. So I figure its time to update. For 10 months I was a puppet....to a man I thought I was going to be with forever....It's so hard waking up everyday and realizing that my life is no longer what I had planned for it to be. He was way to controlling and made me a prisoner in my own home. If it had not been for a close friend I would still be with him to this day. Thanks Travis for all the late night convos! It helped alot and I really think you have no idea how much it helped having someone to talk to.
Jason was a very good guy in the beginning and then just got out of control. I couldn't take the constant accusing me of cheating. And always wanting to know how long I was going to do things...like going to my mom's. Its MY MOM'S house why does it matter how long I am there? Or saying that someone was always at the house. If we were on the phone and he heard the littlest noise, someone was coming in the door. It frustrates me so much! If was not for my friends I would probably running back to him. But they have told me to be strong and I have...Thank Kassie and Shellie. (love u guys) I know he's not who I am supposed to be with, so I will never put myself in that situation again...Someone asked me yesterday if I ever wanted to just strangle someone. My answer is yes...I do. When Jason calls and starts his shit everyday I always want to reach thru the phone and strangle him... Its so hard when I am driving home or to work just to want to do 90 around a curve and not turn the wheel. I think about that alot. Life has just taken so many turns for me in the past month and a half. I hate when you feel so SURE about things and they all come tumbling down around you. *sigh* All I ever want to do is cry, but I pretend to be strong and hide how I really feel. I go about what I always do and thats be there for other ppl. I am a good friend and a good person, but when is it my turn to have someone listen to me. When can I tell someone all my problems? When is it my turm to just sit there and cry?
I do have a lot to be thankful for. I have made lots of new friends since going to 2nd shift. Shellie and I have became very close. And I thank god that I have her on my side and as a friend. Her family has taken me in as one of there own. I love being around all of them. They make me smile and laugh! It was a great honor to stand up for her in her wedding. It was a very beautiful ceremony! The reception was fun, and alot of new friends were made among everyone there. Shellie and I are so much alike! We love to speak our minds no matter what the situation is! I love going to her house and just sitting there talking with her. We don't ever have to do anything to have fun, we can just hang out and talk for hours and have such a good time.
I have been hanging out with my Kass quite a bit! I love that girl. Its hard to believe that at one point in time we did not like each other! I couldn't ask for a better friend! She always knows just how to make me laugh. I was there Weds and had so much fun. Ashlynn cracks me up...she just bursts out laughing at herself and its just so cute. She's going to be just like Kass when she grows up. You are raising a beautiful little girl Kass! You are a GREAT mom! Thanks for always being there for me! Love u
I was a little disappointed Sat. We lost our 3rd person. But what can we do? I know she don't see her friend much, but we had the plans made for a year. Oh well over it. Kass and I had LOTS of fun. Shane's costume was CLASSIC! He is one hell of a man for wearing what he did haha! We got a little drunker than what we planned but hell we did it pretty cheap! lol Gotta love when drinks are being bought for u most of the night! I can't wait to see what the rest of the yeat brings!
I think I am done rambling for now. But I am sure I will have more to say soon!
