i never realized how much i could miss something i couldnt see....i told my boys about their brother/sister that never was. hard to explain to them but they came across the baby book last week..i felt i owed them an explanation of why there are three and not just two. my oldest has the biggest heart of any child i have ever seen...when i told him the story he cried...about broke my heart but i knew one day i would eventually tell them. just didnt want to so soon after divorce they have been through enough without me adding more for them to deal with. today he told me that his sister was in heaven pouring the rain out and putting the stars up at night. i have always believed that about death..so its no surprise he probably got that from me saying it to him when they lost their grandmother (nana). i asked him how he knew it was a girl....he replied "mommy i know the baby was a girl cause you wanted one"....all i could do was hug him....
