Porcelain Doll's blog: "Random Facts and Stories"

created on 07/31/2010 | http://fubar.com/random-facts-and-stories/b334817

posted on 07/31/2010&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;10:07&nbs-07:00;am

lol signs of the apocalypse
http://fubar.com/lol-signs-of-the-apocalypse/b334817-1124406

Tampons start to bleed… IN THE BOX!
Reanimated corpse of Mr. Hooper descends on Sesame Street to exact murderous vengeance on Snuffleupagus
Viacom reincorporates as a non-profit
North Dakota ravaged by civil war with South Dakota
Los Angeles swept away by 1000-foot Cheez Wiz tsunami
Gallup Poll reveals Americans totally apathetic about sex
JFK Jr. and Princess Di rise from the dead to sire a new race of entitled do-nothings
Jerry Falwell comes out of the closet
Canada develops its own culture
Swarms of flying goats terrorize playgrounds
Tall glasses of cool, wholesome milk spontaneously transform into frothing cups of demon vomit
Whiteheads become chic
Chimpanzees begin to accessorize
Switzerland falls into the sea
The Anti-Christ appears – accompanied by the Uncle-Christ
Flipping someone the bird can KILL THEM
New fast food craze: McLocust Burgers
Cease fire declared in war between cats and dogs
P. Diddy is appointed UN Secretary General
Statues of the Virgin Mary sprout thick black goatees
World's unset VCR clocks all stop blinking
Millions of circumcised penises grow new foreskins
The Almighty appears on talk shows, promoting his new project "Let There be DARKNESS"
Laura Bush gives birth to conjoined hyena pups
The introduction of non-alcoholic Jägermeister
Disney remakes I Spit on Your Grave
Republicans grasp the mathematical fundamentals of addition and subtraction
McDonalds and Starbucks merge
A giant Porky Pig appears as a fireball in the sky and stutters, "Th-th-that's All, Folks!"
Nudist nuns riot in the streets
Oprah's Book Club recommends Naked Lunch
Churches liquidate all their investments for charity
Hustler launches an Arabic edition
Earth's sun goes nova, incinerating all nine satellite planets in a nanosecond
All around the globe, ketchup flows freely from glass bottles
Jesus and Mohammed take on Joseph Smith and L. Ron Hubbard in a cult-founder-takes-all tag-team wrestling match
Human embryonic stem cells included in Parker Bros. chemistry sets
The Pope spontaneously combusts
Gas costs $1.00 per gallon
Howard Stern shuts the fuck up
Stubborn underwear skidmarks miraculously disappear
Ho's slap pimps, worms eat fish, and queers bash frat boys
It rains McGriddles
High school math teachers embrace oral hygiene
World's "Down Syndrome" children reveal selves as tightly organized network of intergalactic spies
Giant green pincers burst through Pat Robertson's liver-spotted chest from the inside out during routine taping of The 700 Club. An enormous praying mantis emerges covered in rib fragments and macerated lung effluvia, announcing to the world in a booming voice: "YOUR PUNY PRAYERS ECHO THROUGH SPACE AND THE STARS LAUGH. EARTH IS DOOMED!"
The Hell's Angels trade in their Harleys for Vespas
Expanding hot air from the blogosphere displaces both the troposphere and stratosphere
All energy drinks turn into rancid cat urine (but nobody notices)
All that ridiculous shit in the Bible actually happens