Things I learned living in Oklahoma
1. Opossums and skunks are flat animals that sleep in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Oklahoma .
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Oklahoma , plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha..
5. 'Onced" and "Twiced" are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
7. "Jaw-P?" means "Did ya'll go to the bathroom?'
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. "fixinto' is one word.
10. There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then there is supper, which is Bibical. We don't observe the Lord's Dinner at church.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
12. Backwards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
13. The word "jeet" is actually a word that goes after "Did you eat?".
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.
16. "No. Jew?" is a common response to the question "Did you bring any beer?".
17. You measure distance in minutes, or "day's ride".
18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
20.. You know what a "DAWG" is.
21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.
22.. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Head Country BBQ Sauce, Tabasco and Ketchup.
23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and motorsports.
24. You think the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a bit warm".
26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
27... Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or "off to Wally World".
28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
29. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
30. We don't need no dang driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive then we can...besides that, we've been driving since the age of 10.
31. "Housecome" means,"I don't understand why you want me to do something."
32. "Cuz" is how you respond when someone asks you "housecome".
33. "Purtinneart" is the response to, "Are you about finished yet?"
34. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Oklahoma friends and those who just wish they were from Oklahoma .
NOW YOU KNOW WHY I TALK THIS WAY - I KENT HEP IT.
