Piney's blog: "LIFES JOURNEY"

COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) -- A black state senator is pushing a bill that would require South Carolina cities and counties to give their workers a paid day off for Confederate Memorial Day or lose millions in state funds. Democratic Sen. Robert Ford's bill won initial approval from a Senate subcommittee Tuesday. It would force county and municipal governments to follow the schedule of holidays used by the state, which gives workers 12 paid days off, including May 10 to honor Confederate war dead. Mississippi and Alabama also recognize Confederate Memorial Day. Years ago, Ford said, he pushed a bill to make both that day and Martin Luther King Jr. Day paid holidays. He considered it an effort to help people understand the history of both the civil rights movement and the Confederacy in a state where the Orders of Secession are engraved in marble in the Statehouse lobby, portraits of Confederate generals look down on legislators in their chambers and the Confederate flag flies outside. "Every municipality and every citizen of South Carolina, should be, well, forced to respect these two days and learn what they can about those two particular parts of our history," Ford said Tuesday. In a state steeped in a segregationist past, "there's no love in this state between black and white basically," he said. That's not apparent at the Statehouse, where black and white legislators get along, "but if you go out there in real South Carolina, it's hatred and I think we can bring our people together." Lonnie Randolph, president of the state conference of NAACP branches, objected to that reasoning. "Here Senator Ford is talking about the importance of race relations by forcing recognition of people who did everything they could to destroy another race - particularly those that look like I do," Randolph said. "You can't make dishonor honorable. It's impossible." Ron Dorgay, a Sons of Confederate Veterans member from Elgin, said race relations have moved far from hatred but he hopes Ford's bill brings more understanding of the state's past. "Even in school systems, they don't teach the correct history," Dorgay said. Local governments, meanwhile, are seeing green, not race, when it comes to adding holidays to their calendars. Large and small counties would put up more cash to cover holidays they don't now recognize, largely for law enforcement and emergency worker overtime, municipal and county association lobbyists said. Only 10 of the state's 46 counties recognize Confederate Memorial Day and only 27 observe the more benign Presidents' Day. Greenville County, one of the state's wealthiest and most populous counties, doesn't offer the Confederate holiday. The Judiciary Committee said the county would spend $156,900 to add each holiday to its calendar. Much smaller Laurens County would spend $37,080. Ford dismissed the costs. "The good outweighs any kind of rationale you can come up with," he said before the subcommittee sent the bill forward to the full Senate Judiciary Committee for debate, which won't happen until at least next week. Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Glenn McConnell, R-Charleston, supports the bill - and holding back chunks of the more than $300 million the state sends local governments each year. Counties and cities "should be respectful of that as political subdivisions of the state," said McConnell, a Civil War re-enactor who runs a Charleston Confederate wares gallery and on Tuesday fretted how new junk metal collection legislation might affect his cannon. "If they don't want to be a subdivision of the state, then don't take the money."

Accounts Receivable Tax Building Permit Tax CDL License Tax Cigarette Tax Corporate Income Tax Dog License Tax Federal Income Tax Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA) Fishing License Tax Food License Tax Fuel Permit Tax Gasoline Tax Hunting License Tax Inheritance Tax Inventory Tax IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax) IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax) Liquor Tax Luxury Tax Marriage License Tax Medicare Tax Property Tax Real Estate Tax Service charge taxes Social Security Tax Road Usage Tax (Truckers) Sales Taxes Recreational Vehicle Tax School Tax State Income Tax State Unemployment Tax (SUTA) Telephone Federal Excise Tax> Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax Telephone State and Local Tax Telephone Usage Charge Tax Utility Tax Vehicle License Registration Tax Vehicle Sales Tax Watercraft Registration Tax Well Permit Tax Workers Compensation Tax Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago... and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt... We had the largest middle class in the world... and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. What happened? Can you spell 'politicians!' And I still have to press '1' for English. And those little fookers pay none of the afore mentioned taxes What has happened?????

OPEC sells oil for $136.00 a barrel. OPEC nations buy U.S. grain at $7.00 a bushel. Solution: Sell grain for $136.00 a bushel. Can't buy it ? Tough! Drink your oil! Ought to go well with a nice thick grilled steak of camel ass!!!

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.' The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?' 'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles. 'OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?' The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.' To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?'

They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I Gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was Educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the Money back . same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64. They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already buy-one-get-one-free," she said, "so I guess they're both free" She Handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door. They Walk Among Us! One day I was walking down the beach with some Friends when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked Up at the sky and said, "Where"? They Walk Among Us! While looking at a house, my brother asked the real Estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff." They Walk Among Us!! I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific." They Walk Among Us! My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk. They Walk Among Us! My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount. They Walk Among Us! I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?" They Walk Among Us! While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man Ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked Him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces." Yep, They Walk Among Us! They Walk Among Us, and they Reproduce, and Worst of all ........... THEY VOTE!

Some times you just have to ask yourself ' Will I live to be 80?' I recently chose a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?' He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?' 'No,' I replied. 'I don't do drugs, either.’ Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?' I said, 'No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!' 'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, fishing or relaxing in the beach?' 'No, I don't,' I said. He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?' 'No,' I said. 'I don't do any of those things. Then he looked at me and asked, 'Then why do you give a shit?'

Hello, and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu: If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696. If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up; our operators are too busy to talk with you. If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever. If you are blonde, don't press any buttons; you'll just mess it up. This coming week is National Mental Health Care week You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care. Well, my job is done ....Your turn!

A Bottle of Merlot A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant. So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the gentleman who is seated over there." ..and indicated the sender with a nod of his head. She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman. The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants " After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. It read: "Just to let you know things are not always what they appear to be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, Bentley Convertible, Mercedes SL600, and a Porsche Carrera 4 in several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen , Italy, South Florida and a 10,000 acre ranch in California . There are over one hundred and sixty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches. Just send the bottle back."

Andy Rooney said on "60 Minutes" a few weeks back: I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the U nited Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens... Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door. Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game. I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason; that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE? I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion. I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off. When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in ci ties where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling; it is the Law of Probability. I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English! My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours. I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines. I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for an y special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business. We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations. I don't hate the rich I don't pity the poor. I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them. I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building. It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!" I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ri ng heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries! I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great , great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else. And if you don't like my point of view, tough... I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND TO THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL! AMEN! I was asked to send this on if I agree or delete if I don't. It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a problem in having "In God We Trust" on our money and having "God" in the Pledge of Allegiance. Why don't we just tell the 14% to Shut Up, lay down and BE QUIET!!!

1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?" 2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race. 3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf. 4. Touch him. 5. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to...... 6. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you were rushing home because you realized you forgot your helmet. (Particularly good in those Helmet Law states!) 7. Ask him where he bought his cool hat. 8. Refer to him by his first name. 9. Pretend you are gay and ask him out. 10. When he says no, cry. 11. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment. 12. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way. 13. If he asks you to step off the bike, automatically throw yourself onto his hood. 14. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way. 15. When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first" 16. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers. 17. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's the wrong name." 18. Bribe him with donuts. 19. When he comes up your bike, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it. 20. When he goes to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!" 21. Trip and fall into him. 22. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away. 23. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen. 24. Chew on the pen, nervously. 25. Clean your ear with the pen. 26. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring. 27. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar..... 28. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was. 29. Act like you are retarded. 30. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly. 31. Or mumble to yourself. 32. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about man? 33. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight....... 34. Ask if they know how to make the donuts. 35. When he comes up to your bike, say I have a badge just like yours! 36. Ask if he watches Cops. 37. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock. 38. Giggle if he did. 39. Talk to your hand. 40. Ask if he knows someone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends. 41. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does. 42. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin. 43. When he asks to inspect your bike, say there is no alcohol on my bike, sir, the last cop got it. 44. Try to sell him your bike. 45. Ask if you can buy his car. 46. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front. 47. Play with the siren. 48. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner. 49. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. 50. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner. 51. Ask if he ever had pun-tang. 52. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle. 53. If there is someone else on the bike with you, talk to each other in tongues. 54. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh. 55. When you are in the back of his car, touch his neck through the fencing. 56. Turn your head and whistle. 57. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that. 58. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date. 59. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine. 60. Ask if you can see his gun. 61. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger. 62. Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!" 63. Tell him you like men in uniform. 64. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party. 65. While he is sitting in his car running your plates and license, whip it out and pee on one of his tires. 66. Touch his shirt and say "hey man, you got a booger on your shirt" when he looks down do the nose bump thing and say "Damn, cops are so stupid". 67. Every time he tries to use his radio, squeal like a pig as loud as you can. 68. Ask him if he feels like a BIG MAN just because he has a gun. 69. Laugh until he asks you why and tell him you think it's funny that he didn't see you throw your stash in the bushes so he can't prove it's yours. After him and his co-cops spend an hour looking for it admit that you were just kidding. 70. Keep staring at him until he asks you why you are doing it. Tell him that you once got drunk and humped a monkey and you are wondering if he is your son. 71. If he makes you walk a straight line to prove your aren't drunk. Do it hopscotch style. 72. Every time he asks you a question. Ask your imaginary friend for the answer 73. If he/she frisks you, moan loudly and say things like "oh, baby", "OH YES, YES" and of course the old standard "a little to the left, baby". 74. Make up a cute nickname for him and use it often. Something like "Tinkerbell" should work nicely. 75. While signing the ticket, ask him if he realizes that your Green Beret uncle taught you 17 ways to kill with a ball point pen. 76. Every time he takes his eyes off of you, make loud fart noises. 77. Accuse him of sleeping with your wife. When he denies it, tell him he should try her. After all, she's a lot better in the sack than HIS wife. 78. Ask him if he became a cop because of the low I.Q. requirements. 79. When he asks to see your license, ask to shoot his gun. 80. When pulled over because the cop saw your ivory griped custom Springfield 45 tell him "my grips cost more than your cheap 9mm 81. My red & black wing tips cost more than the truck your driving home. 82. And finally my 40 knuckle is worth more than his trailer!" 83. When he says "Please step off the bike" say, "I cant, you get on." 84. Ask him if you can be his date for the Policemen's Ball. 85. Look at his head, then ask, "Who cuts your hair?" 86. Ask him, "If you aren't allowed to drink & drive, then why do they put parking lots around bars???" 87. When asked to see your license and registration, ask to see naked pictures of his wife. If he says he does not have any, ask if he would like to buy some. Then say, "What a firecracker!" 88. When the cop says, "Your eyes are bloodshot have you been drinking?". Reply with "Your eyes are glazed have you been eating donuts?" 89. When he asks for your license, say "You're not gonna check my saddlebags, are ya?"