t's blog: "life"

Im so damn sick n tired of people thinkin they can be my friend when its convenient for them, im really sick n tired of fake ass friends that kno u until some fuggen itch comes in the picture... im tired of ppl taken my kindness for weakness, someday yull learn the concept of being a good friend but dnt expect me to be there for u when u finally realize that u fucked up... how can someone be your friend one day n then the next they str8 up play u n pretend like you dnt exist until sumthin bad happens n they life n they need someone to tlk to dats cool tho cuz when yer lame ass comes bac to reality ima still b here doen me, i aint like u im a friend through thick n thin no matter wut. fucken fake ass

I am getting so sick and tired of people these days trying to decide who i should or shouldnt be with im tired of ppl in my life trying to force shit on me, im tired of ppl telling me i need to be with a white man, ok get it in your head IM NOT RACIST I HAVE A MUTHA FUCKEN PREFF AND ITS NOT WHITE. im sick of ppl color basing everything the color does not make the person, there are just as many dead beat white guys as there are black, im not gunna be with someone to make my family happy, ive never been with a white guy nor will i ever be and im tired of ppl trying to force shit on me why cant they just understand that im me and i wanna live my life the way i wanna live it, why cant they just accept me for who i am instead of who i date. im just getting tired of having to defend my choices to everyone, i shouldnt have to, im tired of everyone making me feel like less of a person because of my life choices, why cant you just let me be, and let me be happy, is that so much to ask for, I DONT DATE WHITE GUYS GET THE FUCK OVER IT

Wow, whts the world comming to if you can be with someone who claims they are so inluv wit u, inluv enough to ask u to marry them n then everythin goes fine until 1 day yer on the phone n u guys r haven a dissagreement n yer phone drop n hangs up on him, n he calls u bac n tell u "man if thats wut u on then do u" where is the logic in that, in leaven someone just because of an accident, i luvd him i really did n i guess he didnt feel the way he said, my biggest fear, not finding someone that made me feel the way he did, and being alone something i fear more then anything, i guess i put my happiness aside just to feel something that i was stupid enough to believe, am i that bad of a person or am i just that stupid and that gullible to wanna b wit someone that treats me like that. The only guy that ever made me feel like the prettiest person that walked the earth, someone that got me to the point where id never been before had me to where i felt like cryen everytime he left because i was back to reality n bac to real life where i wasnt any of the things he made me feel like i was. ill miss those feelings n ill miss having someones arm around me n ill miss having a reason to smile but i guess shit happens n ill jus have to find a way to move on

Man today im tired, i been sick for a week now i guess the doc says i have asthmatic bronchitis well whatever the heck it is i wish it would just go away, im loosing my voice n i have a really bad headache and i have a lot on my mind, guys suck, life sucks and i cant stand females who cause drama, jus a blog to ramble on a space to complain in

Do you think its possible to feel something for someone that for all you kno may not exist? To meet someone you've never met in person and start to have some sort of feelings for them, and even if you did, would they be real and how could you trust your heart that it wouldnt set you up for failure, i met someone and when i first got on here was for the pure intentions of just meeting friends, but its strange because i found myself "needing" to hear his voice and "needing" to kno that he was ok, could i have been lieing to myself the whole time, or had i finally found a guy ive dreamed myself to be with, i dont kno its weird because i started falling for someone because he made me feel the way ive always wanted to feel and he excepted me for what i was and not who i claimed to be, he saw into me and i could open up to him and tell him everything and it was weird how he had that hold on me, but then tonight i find out he was speaking with someone an im glad i found out now while i could still control my heart instead of letting my heart control me, i still care about him and i may always wonder "what if" but now i kno how things have to be and not everything can go your way all the time, god lets you meet people for a reason and it just goes to sho, u dont always get what u want

well dang its likes 6 in the morning and im up already wit the kids, finally getting them bac to sleep i think i might go lay back down, i had this strange dream last night about my life and when i got woke up this morning i felt like shit like theres something missing, i want to be loved, i have this guy in my life that i really care about, he was my luv, we were together but i think we drifted apart, we dont see eachother and we dont talk much, i luv him i kno i do, but i dont feel it from him anymore, i think my problem is i want to be loved to bad that i dont really know what kind of love i deserve, i want dat feeling of being wanted, but with self esteem issues i dont think im pretty enough to be wanted, everytime i look in the mirror i find a fault with myself and i feel ugly, its not really a feeling of being ugly. i am. maybe im talkin crazy but i jus feel this way and i needed to get it out

Well recently i found out i was mixed with 7 different things, im mixed with German,Irish,Polish, Indian, Italian, French and Russian, someday i want to do a family tree to find out just what all im mixed with,

Through Your Eyes Through your eyes I see the path I take Through your eyes I see the choices I make Through your eyes I see how the world should be Through your eyes Is how I can see Through your eyes Life is so clear Through your eyes I can see what I fear Through your eyes You see into my soul Through your eyes I became your goal Through your eyes You see into my heart You see me through your eyes While were apart

A Dream After all the years ive known you i still feel the same... I melt when i see your face and even hear your name... I wish i was your's for now and forever... I wish there was an "us" a you and I together I love you and someday you will see... And just then it will be you and me... If time was money id spend it all on you... If i said i loved you, i culd say it an it be true... If a dream could last forever, id dream of you and me... If i could spend time with u id ask for eternity... You mean more to me than you will ever know My love for you wont fade, it can only grow

well lately life hasnt been going the greatest, yeah i have my family and my friends to talk to but sometimes that is just not enough, i want my other half, the one that completes me, the one that i can talk to every single day and i can tell him anything and he would never judge me. Sometimes i question all ive been through and all ive seen and sometimes it just seems like its not close enough to the end... they say your suposed to live life like your one day closer to death, man there are times when i feel like i could live life like tomorrow is the end.... I have these feelings That stay so deep in my heart I want to find that someone That makes them all fall apart The guy that stands beside me To wipe away the tears That make me forget what ive been through The past 21 years He holds my hand and breathes Like he can feel my pain He'd sit right beside me When i feel like sitting in the rain The guy who tells me he loves me When hes right infront of his friends The guy who will hold me down From beginning to the end The one who makes me melt And at the same time make me smile The one who makes me believe That living life is worth while When were laying in bed at night He pulls me in his arm That swear up and down That he'dkill any1 who upon me inflicted harm Is this to much to ask for Or does a thing like this exist Its all the things i once had That i truelly miss All i ask is to be happy And id love you forever more A chance at happy life with you Is all that i ask for