Tattoo's blog: "Life"

Better Than Chicken, by Jackyl

I like poontang better than chicken

I like laughin' better than bitchin'

Share my smoke if you're not snitchin'

I like poontang better than chicken

Well, I'ma walkin' down your dirty road

I got the backwoods of Georgia runnin' through my veins

I'll be the last man standin' that could never abstain

From a good time and a chance to unload

And I'ma walkin' down your dirty road

I like poontang better than chickin

I like laughin' better than bitchin'

Share my smoke if you're not snitchin'

I like poontang better than chicken

Well, I'ma revvin' up my muscle car

I got the summer breeze blowin' in my face

I'll be the last man standin' if you wanna race

And I'ma swingin' low like a big rock star

I'ma revvin' up my muscle car

I said I like poontang better than chicken

I like laughin' better than bitchin'

Share my smoke if you're not snitchin'

I like poontang better than chicken

I like poontang better than chicken

I like laughin' better than bitchin'

Share my smoke if you're not snitchin'

I like poontang better than chicken

I'm now addicted

Ya wanna see me testify

I'm gonna testify testify

Check it out

I like poontang better than the average bear

Let's lay it out and play truth or dare

It gets good to me I do declare

I like poontang better than chicken

I like laughin' better than bitchin'

Share my smoke if you're not snitchin'

I like poontang better than chicken

I like poontang better than chicken

I like laughin' better than bitchin'

Share my smoke if you're not snitchin'

I like poontang better than chicken

Songwriter: Jesse James Dupree 

I Got You, by Thompson Square

A car's got gasoline to run, down the road

A crop's got rain, dirt, and sun, to make'em grow

A song's got rhyme, a clock's got time

You got me and Baby

I got you

Yeah, you're it, the missing piece that makes me fit

I got you, the breath I breathe, and there ain't nothing else I need

Baby I got you

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I don't need a big ol' house, full of stuff

What my arms are wrapped around, that's enough

Your morning smile, your kiss goodnight

And everything's alright

I got you

Yeah, you're it, the missing piece that makes me fit

I got you, the breath I breathe, and there ain't nothing else I need

Baby I got you

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

When the right goes wrong

When I'm scared to death, and got nothing else to lean on

I got you

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, I do

Baby I got you

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, you got me too

I got you

Yeah, you're it, the missing piece that makes me fit

I got you, the breath I breathe, and there ain't nothing else I need

Baby I got you

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, Baby

I got you

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Baby I got you

Baby I got you

Songwriters: Paul Jenkins, Jason D. Sellers, Keifer Thompson, & Shawna Thompson

No Body, by Blake Shelton

Dixie Cup martinis

Second one's a freebie

Happy Friday afternoon

That neon moon's a-risin'

I'm sittin' here admirin'

The summer dress it's shinin' through

Had just enough to tell you the truth

Don't wanna scoot the boots with no body

Get straight tequila drunk on no body

Wrap these arms around no body

No body but yours

Don't wanna shadow dance with no body

Slide some cotton off of no body

Don't wanna wake up kissin' no body

No body but yours

Honeysuckle talkin'

Last call Old Milwaukin'

Out there to a checkered cab

B-line to your condo

Conway on the stereo

Girl, I wanna lay you down, down, down

Don't wanna scoot the boots with no body

Get straight tequila drunk on no body

Wrap these arms around no body

No body but yours

Don't wanna shadow dance with no body

Slide some cotton off of no body

Don't wanna wake up kissin' no body

No body but yours

Don't wanna hold no body

Lay my eyes on no body

Love up on no body

Don't wanna scoot the boots with no body

Get straight tequila drunk on no body

Wrap these arms around no body

No body but yours

Don't wanna shadow dance with no body

Slide some cotton off of no body

Don't wanna wake up kissin' no body

No body but yours

Don't wanna wake up kissin' no body

No body but yours

Songwriters: Chris Tompkins, Rodney Clauson, & Joshua Kear

Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not, by Thompson Square

We were sittin' up there on your Momma's roof

Talkin' 'bout everything under the moon

With the smell of honeysuckle and your perfume

All I could think about was my next move

Oh, but you were so shy, so was I

Maybe that's why it was so hard to believe

When you smiled and said to me

"Are you gonna kiss me or not?

Are we gonna do this, or what?

I think you know I like you a lot

But you're about to miss your shot

Are you gonna kiss me or not?"

It was the best dang kiss that I ever had

Except for the long one after that

And I knew if I wanted this thing to last

Sooner or later I'd have to ask

For your hand

So I took a chance

Bought a wedding band

And I got down on one knee

And you smiled and said to me 

"Are you gonna kiss me or not? 

Are we gonna do this or what?

I think ypou know I love you a lot

I think we've got a real good shot

Are you gonna kiss me or not?"

So we planned it all out for the middle of June

From the wedding cake to the honeymoon

And your Momma cried 

When you walked down the aisle

When the preacher man said, "say I do"

I did, and you did too

THen I lifted that veil

And I saw your pretty smile, and I said

"Are you gonna kiss me or what?

Are we gonna do this, or not?

Look at all the love that we got

It ain't ever gonna stop

Are you gonna kiss me or not?"

Yeah, Baby, I love you a lot

I really think we've got a shot

Are you gonna kiss me or not?"

Songwriters: Jim Collins & David Lee Murphy 

You Make It Feel Like Christmas

By

Gwen Stefani & Blake Shelton

Ooh

Ooh

I want to thank the storm that brought the snow

Thanks to the string of lights that make it glow

But I wanna to thank you, Baby

You make it feel like Christmas

It barely took a breath to realize

We're gonna be a classic for all time

I wanna thank you, Baby

You make it feel like Christmas

Sweet gingerbread made with molasses

My heart skipped and I reacted

Can't believe that this is happenin'

Like a present sent from God

Sleigh bells singing hallelujah

Stars are shinin' on us, too

I wanna thank you, Baby

You make it feel like Christmas

I thought I was done for, thought that love had died

But you came along, I swear you saved my life

And I wanna thank you, Baby

'Cause you make it feel like Christmas

Sweet gingerbread made with molasses

My heart skipped and I reacted

Can't believe that this is happenin'

Like a present sent from God

Sleigh bells singing hallelujah

Stars are shinin' on us, too 

I wanna thank you, Baby

You make it feel like Christmas

I never thought I'd find a love like this

But I found forever it that very first kiss

I wanna thank you, Baby

You make it feel like Christmas

Oh-oh

Oh thank you, Baby

I wanna thank you, Baby

You make it feel like Christmas

Songwriters: Gwen Stefani, Blake Shelton, Justin Tranter, & Michael James Ryan Busbee

I was sitting on the porch this morning, at about 3:30am, just watching, listening, and thinking, when it hit me: I am so old, and I've been here for so long, that I could, quite literally, walk around this "Little Switzerland of the Ozarks", stop at just about any spot, and tell a story about some funny, crazy, or stupid shit, that happened there. From the horrible Crescent Hotel fire. I watched it from the end of Singleton, where I cried like a baby, because, to me, that was the castle where the Princess lived, who I slayed dragons every day in my Emerald Forest to keep her safe. I felt helpless that day! The wind was blowing from west to east on that bright & sunny afternoon. The valley that North Main/Hway 23 North runs through was solid black smoke. They called all able-bodied men in town to come help put it out. Once it was almost extinguished, the smoke turned almost pure white; to "Sherman's 66", the classiest service station I've ever seen. Their red and white pinstriped uniforms were awesome. Gawd, I wanted one that said "KEVIN" on it so bad! I would have worn it proudly!; to the way the bakery made downtown smell; to sledding down Howell Street on a huge Coca-Cola sign; to Mr. Walker, (Named "Digby"? Maybe?) who owned "Walker Brother's", giving me a ride down to his store and letting me pick out any cowboy hat I wanted, for free. I chose a black one, of course; to earning a nickel a day working at the gas station that is now Tad's; to the day the Arkansas Razorback's mascot (I believe his name was "Tusk", maybe?) broke out of his cage during a parade and terrorized the whole area until he was caught. It was fucking priceless!; to chief of police Leroy Weems, who who was at least 100 stories by himself. Geez, what a piece of work that bag of douche was; to the first murder that I knew of; to "Bus Driver Dan" who, even though I was very young, let me ride out on the Jefferson Lines bus he drove, out to Miles Mountain Musical Museum, while standing at the front, holding the PA mic, and giving the tour out there and back; to mowing lawns all over town for $1.00 each, except for one huge one. I charged him $6.00, and even felt bad about that; to the wonderful Joy Motel and all that worked there; to the police department throwing teargas into the basement of The Auditorium to break up the Barefoot Ball. What a bunch of fucksticks; to all the bikers & hippies, whom the town hated, but I loved so dearly; to Barb & Bev and Manny & Vernon, who taught me how to be a man; to the Sunday morning planer mill fire; to the spot where I got my first kiss; to listening to Billy Gene Billings fire up his lime green #47 Chevrolet Camaro dirt track stock car; to pulling curtain the night my sister won The Ozark Folf Festival Queen Contest, and the mess I cleaned up for her later that, still to this day, no one knows about. It would have broken her heart into a million tiny pieces; to pregame warm-ups at the old Highlander Gymnasium and hearing Roger Greenlee stand up and yell, "DUNK IT, KEVIN!" (Actually, he used my last name), then putting on a show and giving him his money's worth, one handed or two handed, it didn't matter to me, rattling those rims and listening to him squeal and just living to please that big man; to watching them build Harts; to trying to run away from home, only to be caught sitting in the Continental Trailways bus station (The cabin is now down by Chelsea's), holding in my hand a U.S. Army canteen full of water and a one-way ticket to Denver, CO., that later earned me the beating of a lifetime; to good ol' ESHS; to watching them build The Eureka Inn; to sitting in my car at the top of Planer Hill while listening to AC/DC when I found out Bon Scott had died; to watching them build the "Christ of the Ozarks Statue"; to my car wreck and my motorcycle wreck; to Mount Air Lodge cabins becoming The Inn of the Ozarks; to all the basketball scholarships I turned down because of a shitty attitude (My fault. I should have overcome all that fucked up mess) brought on by a shitty homelife and thinking that being street smart was good enough for me. Being a 6'4" knotheaded boy who could jump like a damn deer as well as play every position on the court should have given me a better future, but I just wasn't that interested at the time; to ghosts, ghosts, and many more buttloads of ghosts. I could go on for days, but I have to end this rambling somewhere. I've seen some things, that's for sure! Eureka has definitely changed over the years, but in many ways, it's still the exactly the same as it ever was. (You'll have to know that I wrote the end of that last line using David Byrne's, of Talking Heads, voice!) Sorry, I'm very easily entertained, and at times, I find myself wildly amusing! What can I say? I'm a cheap date. I take myself out on the town as often as possible. As a kid, I would always read the "Reader's Digest" from cover to cover, but my favorite part was "Laughter The Best Medicine" section. That alone should tell you a lot about me. I never really understood what that meant until my accident in 2006. Since that day, making myself giggle-snort-giggle, helps me take my mind off all the pain I feel every second of every day. I do not post stuff on here for anyone, it's just a place where I can "store" things that give me a chuckle or two. If I find something I think is humorous, and I have an extremely warped sense of humor, it goes on Facebook. Try to imagine, if you will, the things I do not post. Yep. I'm a twisted fuck. I earned every bit of it. BUT! If I have ever offended any of you, I sincerely apologize. That wasn't my intention. Trust me. People have the option to unfollow, ignore, delete, or just roll with it. That choice is yours. I've been "me" for 59+ years. I don't know how to be anyone else, and I do not see any changes looming on the horizon. Y'all have a great day. Peace...

Big hugs & Hot coffee. Kevin aka "Tattoo"

I stole this from someone, I can't remember who it was. They had cool flowers & stuffs before each question, but I don't know how to do that.

Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?: Yep
When did your last hug take place?: An hour ago
Are you a jealous person?: Nope
Are you tired right now?: Yep
Do you chew your straws?: Nope
Have you ever been called a tease?: Nope
Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?: Yep
Do you cry easily?: Yep
What should you be doing right now?: Sleeping
Are you a heavy sleeper?: Nope
Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?: Yep, was married 25+ years
Are you mad at someone right now?: Nope
Do you believe in love?: Absolutely
What makes you laugh no matter what?: Dark, rude, & funny shit
Who was the last person you talked to?: Leigh
Do you get butterflies around the person you like?: Yep
Will you get married?: Nope
Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?: Whatthefuckever, seen it before. No more...
Does anyone like you?: Nope
Do you secretly like someone?: Yep
Who was the first person you talked to today?: Tim
Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?: Not gonna embarrass anyone here, but Yep I do have someone
What are you NOT looking forward to?: The rest of my life
What ARE you looking forward to?: Getting out more often
Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?: Nope
If you saw your crush/gf/bf kissing another person what would you do?: Already have, I walked away. Done with that shit...
Do you plan on moving out within the next year?: Nope
Are you a forgiving person?: Nope
How many TRUE friends do you have?: Not sure
Do you fall for people easily?: Nope
Have you ever fallen for your ex's best friend?: Lmfao...hell Nope
What was the last thing you put your mouth?: Coffee
Who was the last person you drove with?: Hugh
How late did you stay up last night and why?: Haven't been to bed from yesterday yet
If you could move somewhere else, would you?: Can't, so not a big deal
Who was the last person you took a picture of?: Tourists, for a couple
Can you live a day without TV?: Yep, have for a long time
When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?: Earlier today
Three names you go by: Kevin, Russ, Kev, or whatever
Are you currently in a relationship?: Nope
What is your all-time favorite romance movie?: Elizabethtown, A Knight's Tale, or Flashdance...
Who was the last person you hugged?: Leigh
Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?: Nope
What's your current problem?: Health
Have you ever had your heart broken?: Yep
Your thoughts of long distance relationships?: Nope
How many kids do you want to have?: 3
Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?: Yep

"Creep", by Radiohead

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry

I come on here every single day. I bitch, protest, lament, grumble, snort, whine, bellyache, gripe, complain, worry, beg, piss, moan, scream, borrow, holler, bleat, carp, fret, wheeze, and cuss a little bit. (Maybe a little bit too much! Ha! Sorry!) And, generally, just act like an old man. ("Get off my lawn!") I've been alone every day and every night for so long that I've started talking to myself, and much of the time, myself gets really tired of all the worthless shit that comes out of my brain and mouth. Thus, Facebook. But, if you look very closely, what I've also done, is assemble the very best phone book you could ever hope for. Don't believe me? Fine. If you ever get bored, take a casual stroll through my Friend's & Likes lists and you'll see what I mean. I am very picky concerning both. I don't go wild on here, I have rules that I follow to keep it all small, but mighty. It's all solid rock, with no sand. It's all fresh beef, with no harmful additives. I love Chevrolet automobiles, Tide detergent, & Hoyt Archery equipment, but not so much that my lists get bloated or out of control. You want an awesome tour guide to our little town? I got'em. You want an incredibly talented artist? I got'em. You want a world-class photographer for weddings, prom, seniors, or just some really cool shots of the surrounding area? I got'em. You need a massage, spa package, reflexology, aromatherapy, or energy work, so you feel completely revitalized again? I got'em. You want to get tattooed from head to toe? I got'em. You want a bank that will always treat you like Family? I got'em. You want to go out and listen to some live music that will make you sing along, tap your damn feet, stand up & cheer, or rock your face plumb off? I got'em. (Honestly, I have, bar none, the best vocalists & musicians you could ever even imagine.) You need a fancy party hat, or one you can wear every day of the year? I got'em. You want a courteous, kind, & caring funeral home? I got'em. Are'ya hungry as hell, and want to be served the best food, be it breakfast, lunch, or dinner, known to mankind? I got'em. You want an ice cold beer (Or 12) or a piping hot cup of coffee? I got'em. You need a flower arrangement for that someone so special? I got'em. You need the best DJ that I've ever had the pleasure of watching or hearing? I got'em. Are'ya traveling in from out of town, dead dog tired, and need a clean, comfortable, & cozy place to lay your head, whether it's overnight, through the weekend, or even longer? I got'em. Are'ya in trouble or just need to make sure your final wishes are met, and need an attorney that will treat you the same no matter which side of the law you're on? I got'em. Are'ya not feeling up to snuff and need to see a good doctor? I got'em. Is your computer full of rattlesnakes and you need someone to make it purr like a kitten again? I got'em. You want a show that is so full of mystery & intrigue that it will twist your mind up like a pretzel? I got'em. You want to spend the day on the lake and need a marina that can service all your needs? I got'em. You looking for some beautiful vintage jewelry? I got'em. You need a patch sewn on your favorite leather jacket? I got'em. You need the best Friends on the planet? I got'em. Whatever it is that you are looking for, I probably got'em. Everything here is personally guaranteed, by me. If I didn't love them, they would not be here. I can promise y'uns that...

Big hugs & Hot coffee mugs. Kevin aka "Tattoo"

"Lucky Strike", by Maroon 5

You're such a motivator, I gotta get you here
So sick of saying yes sir, yes sir
You're such an instigator, you wanna play the game
Take it or leave it, that's her, that's her