hillbilly666's blog: "life"

Soldiers come in all shapes, shades, weights, sizes and states of sobriety, misery, and confusion. a soldier is sly as a fox, has the nerve of a dope addict, the stories of an old sailor, the sincerity of a politician and the subtlety of Mt. Saint Helens. He is extremely irresistible, totally irrational and completely indestructible. A Soldier is a Soldier all his life. You can kick him out of your house, but not out of your heart. You can take him off your mailing list, but not off your mind. They are found everywhere; In love, in battle, in lust, in trouble, in debt, in bars... and sometimes behind them. No one can write so seldom and yet think so much of you. No one else can get so much enjoyment out of a letter, clean clothes or a pack of smokes. A Soldier is a genius with a deck of cards. Brave without a grain of sense. He is the PROTECTOR OF AMERICA, with the latest copy of Playboy or Sports Illustrated or GUNS & AMMO in his back pocket. When he wants something it's usually 30 days leave, music that hurts the ears, or, most importantly, a good woman he can count on. Girls love'm, mothers tolerate them, fathers brag about them, the government pays them, the police watch out for them and somehow they all work together. You can beat their bodies but not their minds. You can tame their hearts but not their souls. He likes girls, females, women, ladies and the opposite sex. He dislikes small checks, working weekends, answering letters, missing chow, waking up, maintaining a uniform. You may as well give in. He is your long distance lover... He is your steel eyed, warm smiling, blank minded, hyperactive, over reacting, curious, passive, talented, spontaneous, physically fit, good for nothing bundle of worry...And he will seek out and destroy anyone who hurts you in anyway. ...and he will ALWAYS be there for you regardless of how long it's been since you've last talked. That's the deal with a Soldier. **REPOST THIS IF YOU ARE A SOLDIER OR SUPPORT

BUBBA AND THE WALMART TEST An office manager at Walmart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?" Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT." It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; It's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man "Hmm. Let me see. A BLINK! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A blink of an eye is the fastest thing I can think of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's very good." He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply. Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light, "he said. Turning to Bubba, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed same question. Old Bubba replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, It's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. "Oh I can explain." said Old Bubba. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit in my pants." Old Bubba is now the new greeter at a Walmart near you!!

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body,but rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out ,and loudly proclaiming, "WOW, what a ride !"