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Saying Goodbye.

How do you say goodbye to someone that you've loved for so long? How do you teach your heart that no matter what is said or done they're never coming back? Replaying the events leading up to their departure over and over in your mind, hoping you may find something to use to get through to them. Everytime coming up with nothing that would be beneficial. Struggling to attain solace. Thoughts whirling out of control, everything being such a blur. Finally coming to terms with what has taken place. Masking emotions. Doing the best you can to try and move on, yet still hoping that someday they will realize that the events that lead up to "the goodbye" were never meant to cause anger. That you were just trying to understand.

Maturing..

It's been quite awhile since I last took the time to sit and think long enough to spew out my thoughts and feelings to all of you that actually take the time to read this. My life has been pretty uneventful the last few months, so I spared you the boring details. I've been thinking a lot lately about the way my life has been going this past year. I've loved and lost, I've made new friends and I've lost some of the old friends that have had a deep impact on who I've become in my adult life. There is one thing that remains the same through all of this though and that is this, I always tell those who I hold dear how much I love and cherish them always. I decided after seeing the video for "What Hurts The Most" by Rascal Flatts just how important it is to tell those you love how much they mean to you always because tomorrow is NOT promised to us, it's a gift that each and everyone of us should be thankful for. I mean what do you really have to lose by letting it be known how much you care? It's not a death sentence. Sure you're leaving yourself exposed in a sense, but you have to trust those someones won't use it against you. Trust is a big issue for me, as I'm sure it is for all of us at one point in our lives, however so is love. I couldn't imagine a life without love, and if such a life did exsist, what kind of life would that be? It'd be very cold and lonely. Everyone deserves someone who loves them unconditionally. To me love is: Trust, knowing you could tell someone anything and knowing that it won't change their opinion of you. Love is also kind..Love knows no color. Love is letting go when you know that that special someone would be happier with someone other than yourself. Which in a round about way is why I'm writing this in the first place. I've loved this "someone" (I'm not naming any names) for a long time. They've been a big part of my daily life. A friend, A lover and someone I know I could always turn to in a time of need. My feelings for this person are so profound that it scares the hell out of me. I would die if they would never have to feel another ounce of sadness. Which brings me to my point. Knowing that we've tried to make things work between us a few times and something always gets in the way of our happiness. To you I would like to say, I hope you find happiness in all of life's little endevours and no matter where this life takes you, you will always have a friend right here waiting; one call away.
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