As many of you know, I lived in Enid for quite some time. Huge mistake... brought on by the hugest mistake, that somehow ended up being the best mistake of my life...
Regardless... some of you know, some of you don't.... But my father in law (i still count him as such even though I've divorced his son) may have cancer. Apparently, it's pretty damn likely. I'm not sure on all the minor details... And I was approached with the idea of moving back to Enid. My girls would be able to see their father whenever they'd like, and their father would be there with their PaPa (his father)....
Here are the problems....
1) I hate Dennis.... We can not get along. Period. If it's not one thing, it's another... and all of you KNOW the BS drama I had to deal with involving his "cyber girlfriend" whom he intends to move here at some point... see, they're soul mates, and yadda yadda ya... and he's gonna help raise her baby, yadda yadda ya... and It's just some fucked up BS. Well, Despite all of that, INSANITY, she has caused nothing but DRAMA in my life, and talked more than enough shit, and tried to spout more than enough threats my way... which is why we are where we are today... which is an entire legal battle better left out of the BLOGS.... Regardless, I WILL not live in that small town with her... nor do I truly intend to live in this state with her... my father is moving to San Antonio soon, and I intend to move there...
2) Adam will not move to Enid with me if i go. He doesn't want to deal with Dennis, or ever possibly her.... And he, nor I, want to deal with Dennis' crazy ass mother.... (you all KNOW the drama BS she has caused....)
3) I have no friends, nor family in Enid... only him and his family, and you see how that relationship is... SOOO I would be there... ALONE.... (of course I would have my children... BUT, I would have no family or friends to socialize with, to be there for me, etc)
4)If/When He moves there, this will mean a trip to at least Kingfisher for me... every friday and sunday... Do I want to do that? Not only NO, but HELL NO...
5) Dennis will miss out on A LOT of stuff Tash does in school. Because I am not about to live in OKC while my children are in Enid, they would stay here with me... So, they will whine and cry because they miss Daddy, and Daddy won't be there for his games...
So, I'm looking at a very very hard decision to make... and no one can make it but myself....
In okc my kids have stability... they have PLENTY of people here to love them, and be there for them.... my in laws (adam's family) are amazing and love the girls as if they are blood... because they are part of this family now.
In enid, they have dennis, his mom (and him and his mother do nothing but fight and bicker....) and his father, then his insane brother (who lives with his father.... doesn't work.... has a kid he's almost lost to DHS because he is a filthy pig...) And Dennis, and my children would live in a 3 bed house with 3 other adults and a baby... and that house is a filthy disgusting war zone...
See my issues with my children and him moving there? So, of course, I would not allow my children to move there. They are safe, happy, and healthy here...
But, if he does move... they won't be able to see their dad... and despite how much I despise him and the things he says and does.... he's still their father, and despite the fact that he makes some STUPID decisions, they don't deserve to be punished....
I don't know what he is going to decide. I told him, via email, I couldn't move there... I am unable to sleep (obviously....) and can't stop thinking about this...
3 months ago, I would have moved.... but over the course of the past 2 months I have learned how truly cruel and hateful Dennis can be... and how much of a liar and manipulator... and I just can not move to Enid.... I can't move back. That town was nothing but destruction for me... I'm happy here. I am engaged to a man, who means the world to me... And, I can not let go of him... (there is a LONG story why Adam can't and wont move to Enid, and I do not blame him one bit....) But he and I can not do a long distance thing either... there are more con's than pro's to moving to Enid.... So, at this time, I just do not feel that would be a good idea...
*sigh* If anyone has any suggestions, thoughts, etc... email me... call me... something... I'm having serious issues with this, and I don't know where to go from here... Pray for me... for us...
Much love....
