LethalChopstick's blog: "LethalChopstick"

Hello my name is Steven, I enjoy spiking my alcoholic beverages with Rohypnol while sleep walking. I've found it quite difficult keeping my hands off of myself, and have been incarcerated 3 times that I am aware of and 6 other times of which I am not completely sure for Premeditated Manual Stimulation. 

Also known as PMS.

I've begun the recovering process by attending (PMS) anonymous meetings, however, I'm not convinced that it is working because every time I show up I have half a dozen irritated women saying "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Lynda (my sponsor) keeps hanging up on me, and the Police arrested me for stalking. The Judge recommended that I get help by going to a group aimed at rehabilitating those with my condition.

He ordered that I join "Persons who are Mentally codependent Stalkers" or...you got it (PMS)

I said: "That's exactly what I've been doing your honor! That's where I met Lynda and the other 6 women! For fucks sake man!"

I was sentenced to 2 years in prison for 7 counts of stalking.

I was sent to the "Penitentiary for the Morbidly Stealthy" or...you got it (PMS)

S.

All books by Steven

Books for Children:


1. Fun Facts About Crack

2. Why You Should Kick Daddy Repeatedly Between The Legs

3. Outlets: And What To Put In Them

4. The Sharper The Better

5. The Monster Under Your Bed Is Only The Manifestation Of Mommy And Daddy's Wrong Doings Coming Back To Punish You For Their Mistakes

6. The Monster In The Closet Is A Idea Placed In Your Head By Daddy So He'll Have The Opportunity To Be The Hero By Making The Monster Go Away With The Magic Words "Boogie Boogie Motherfucker!"

7. Daddy Steals Your Food When He Is Alone With Mommy While You're Sleeping

8. If You Don't Succeed In Life There Is Always Suicide

9. Why You Still Get Cookies From The Babysitter Even Though They Hate You

10. Candy From Strangers: Go For It



General Book Ideas


1. Thumbs Down To The Brown: A Practical Guide To Anus Bleaching

2. The Extensive History Of The Poptart: A American Delicacy

3. Why Masturbation Makes You Go Blind (Available Only In Braille)

4. "No, Not Like That Stupid!": A Beginners Manual To Serial Killing For The Mentally Defective

5. Dragon Ball-Z Shirts: Why You Deserve To Be Murdered In A Grocery Store If You Wear One Past The Age Of Twelve

6. A Book With One Page: But It Has A Really Great Synopsis!

7. Vagina and The Gas Mask: A Romance Novel

8. Purple, Hard and Stiff: A Biography Of Rigamortis (pervert)

9. Open Up And Say "AH": Why You Should Never Let A Dentist Named "Richard" Administer Nitrous Oxide

10. The Birds Went North and All The Bees Are Killers: The Reason Teenage Boys Watch Porn and Grow Up To Be The Men Who Love It

More to come....stay tuned!

S.