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Laws of Life
Murphy's First Law for Wives:
If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and
then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of
the first five.
Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation:
The less important you are to the corporation, the more your
tardiness or absence is noticed.
The Salary Axiom:
The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and
just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.
Miller's Law of Insurance:
Insurance covers everything except what happens.
First Law of Living:
As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing,
you'll want to be doing something else.
Weiner's Law of Libraries:
There are no answers, only cross-references.
Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness:
Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food
that starts out soft will harden when stale.
The Grocery Bag Law:
The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market
is always hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.
Lampner's Law of Employment:
When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave
work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.
