SUPERMAN231 THE IMMACULATE ONE's blog: "hahahaha!!!!!"

A salesman was traveling through the country side, flogging insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer.

"Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again. I guarantee it."

The farmer was dubious.

"Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that bug spray. If there is not a single bite on you come morning, I'll buy a whole case from you. And get everyone in the county to buy a case......we will make you rich.

The salesman was delighted.

They went to the field and he stripped. The farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug spray and tied him to a stake. Back to the house went the farmer. The next morning, the farmer and his family trooped out to the cornfield. Sure enough, the salesman was there, hanging in his bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total wreck!

Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one bite on him. The farmer was perplexed.

"Son," he said, "Now, you don't have a bite on you but you look like hell! What the devil happened?" The salesman looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked,

"Doesn't that calf have a mother? A salesman was traveling through the country side, flogging insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer.

"Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again. I guarantee it."

The farmer was dubious.

"Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that bug spray. If there is not a single bite on you come morning, I'll buy a whole case from you. And get everyone in the county to buy a case......we will make you rich.

The salesman was delighted.

They went to the field and he stripped. The farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug spray and tied him to a stake. Back to the house went the farmer. The next morning, the farmer and his family trooped out to the cornfield. Sure enough, the salesman was there, hanging in his bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total wreck!

Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one bite on him. The farmer was perplexed.

"Son," he said, "Now, you don't have a bite on you but you look like hell! What the devil happened?" The salesman looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked,

"Doesn't that calf have a mother?

> A man goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the
> urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the
> urologist is a very pretty female doctor.
>
> The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but
> this new procedure is a little different from
> what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side,
> bend your knees, then while I check your
> prostate, take a deep breath and say, '99' ".
>
> The guy obeys and says,"99".
>
> The doctor says, "Great". Now turn over on your left side and again,
> while repeat the check, take a deep breath and say, '99".
>
> Again, the guy says, '99'."
>
> The doctor said,"Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back
> with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with
> this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis
> to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, '99'.
>
> The guy begins, "One ... Two ...Three".
>

Laws of Life

Murphy's First Law for Wives:
If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and
then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of
the first five.

Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation:
The less important you are to the corporation, the more your
tardiness or absence is noticed.

The Salary Axiom:
The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and
just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

Miller's Law of Insurance:
Insurance covers everything except what happens.

First Law of Living:
As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing,
you'll want to be doing something else.

Weiner's Law of Libraries:
There are no answers, only cross-references.

Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness:
Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food
that starts out soft will harden when stale.

The Grocery Bag Law:
The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market
is always hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

Lampner's Law of Employment:
When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave
work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.