KiLLer KarNi's blog: "Killer Karni'z poemz"

I just cant take it
The pressures to hard
Living life without you
Has left me scarred
Sitting home alone
Saturday nights so cold
Thinking of the precious memories
The depression unfolds
Running around town
Pilled up and high
Id blame you for these things
But I cant take being dry
Missing how much we didnt care
Not thinking of the furture
Seeing us apart was so rare
I just cant take it
The quite making my ears bleed
Praying for you to forgive me
Theres just something in you I need
I fear I wont make it much longer
Nothing can replace you
Nothing could make me stronger
Not without you by my side
I just cant take it
Just cant take it
I thought from this Id grow
But all I do is fall
And this you'll never know
Cuz I just cant take it

Your love is the sweetest drug Ecstacy from a simple hug Needles peircing my skin Chermicals filling from within Constant ups and downs White stains on my evening gowns Eyes rolling in the back of my head At first glance Im seamilngly dead But my blood is flowing heavy While we lay in the backseat of your chevy My visions are so blurry Everyone will start to worry Addiction settling in The denile starts to begin Walking the cold streets Trying to be descrete Searching for my fix The withdraw hitting me like bricks Cuz boy your the sweetest drug You keep me sane I am your domain Control me and consume The candy has bloomed The sweetest drug of all For this I will fall.

Break down Shattering threw Memories of us Im missing you Feelings are gone Im numb inside Awake till dawn In the dark I hide Screams peircing break down Images flashing break down Blood leaking break down Tears flowing BREAK DOWN!

Your disgusting flaws that make you true. The chemicals you abuse and reality you subdue Your Dilated pupils so empty and dark Your sense of pride and your rude remarks The independence you hold so tight The lies you believe and insist to recite The straws, the rocks, balls & blades Your life is just a sick crusade One of these days it won't be fun One of these days there will be nowhere to run You'll be trapped in this cage of powder and pills The dreams you have you'll never fulfill. Its all just a sick crusade But eventually it will all fade. And you'll realize it was only yourself you betrayed. And you'll wonder why you ever begun on that sick crusade

I gave you my heart I dont want it back Its yours to keep As long as you last I have no use for it Without you by my side I also like to give you my eyes For i dont need them anymore to guide I know where I want to go And with who i want to be I gave you my heart And all that is me I was yours from the start Until you left And I began to fall apart Now I am torn Without you by my side I sit and I mourn All I ask of you is please don't regret me Wherever you go and whatever you do Don't ever forget me

You push me and shove me. To the point I can't breathe But I should forgive you with glee Im the one in love I should be walked on And I know if I didn't In a second you'd be gone My heart is ripping at the seams But you cant hear me Not even the screetching of my painful screams I am bounded by this love no escape You hold me with strings from above I am your puppet doing as you say The slightest move of a finger And of you I wont betray Entangled in your opinions And mangled by your beliefs The hopes and dreams I hold deep inside These are my only reliefs I am your puppet To you I will be loyal Till one day the strings break way And finally...... From you I stray

I remember it like it was yesterday. Tattoed on my brain. I thought I had nothing to lose. And so much to gain. I was in my own world . Was it love? Or in lust I was twirled. Can't believe it's been over two years. The first kiss like a dream. When I close my eyes this appears. I know we'll only always be friends. Deep inside, you are still mine. This I pretend. But happiness I lack. Everynight in the dark. These thoughts. On my heart leaves a mark. Wanting and waiting. Should I let go? My heart and my head are negating. A constant struggle with oneself. But no I'll never let go. It starts to rip me apart and effect my health. All the memories are too much to handle. Your touch, your kiss, But to my heart your a vandal. Still I'll never let go. No never let go.

Ashes fall as my heart disinograits Love is dead At the bottom of the sea lies our soulmates. Now is the end romance is a breeze passing us by Ashes fall as my heart disinograits dyings alone Its everyones fate. Its the reality That we've all come to hate. Nobody finds true love This has come so clear. So now is the end. Happy endings, we can no longer protend.

As I lay there in the dark of my room trapped in my mind is your intoxicating silhouette. I invision you by my side lying underneath the stars that make the midnight sky so beautifully irrisitable. Your arms rapped around me protecting me from the world. You kiss my lips and our tongues dance like a smooth summer breeze flowing threw soft silk curtains. Your fingers trickle down my torso sending my body into instant extacy. This night so perfect in its illusion of innocents. As I fall deep into a coma like sleep my vision becomes more clear as if this moment in time is accually occuring. We lay there in a state of hypnosis by each other eyes realizing that nothing esle could make this moment more sensational I awake to find myself returned to the darkness of my room with nothing but the cold lonley breeze that creeps threw my window.