Iron Butterfly's blog: "Life"

I'm just venting, whining, complaining today. I hate that I'm going to be alone on New Year's. I'm gonna be the "7th" wheel so to speak amongst 3 other couples who are having a party at my best friend's house. I appreciate the invite, but I know I'm going to be sitting there absolutely miserable while they are all lovey dovey on each other (cause thats how they all are, because they have great relationships like that).

I know I shouldnt feel envious and jealous of the fact that they have this type of relationship with each other (all 3 couples do), but its so hard when I've delt with the shit end of things for so long, and now I'm off on my own and still alone like I was for so long anyway. That's what really gets to me I guess.

Wishing that a good man would come along and sweep me off my feet and treat me right instead of the way I had become accustomed to being treated. Someone who wants me for me,my personality and the awesome, giving, loving , caring, passionate and kind individual th at I am. Tired of being used, mistreated and unloved.

I try keeping my head up, but it's so hard sometimes, especialy, like i said with the 3 couples I'm spending New Year's with, to see everyone around me now so happy and I'm miserable. Why is it so hard finding a good man? I gave up looking even, and one hasnt found me either. Maybe I'm not the great woman I thought I was and everyone has told me I am. Maybe I'm just dillusional. I don't know. All I DO know is I'm lonely and tired of it.

Thanks for listen to me rant...again...