Samantha's blog: "just stuff"

Lost beneath this blanket of stars The darkness is my guide Standing on the edge of a black abyss With only the reflection of light Only a reflection of life Giving in to should've been Giving in to another end Giving in it begins again Cold water darkens red Aching in this darkness The moonlight stings my eyes Walking through the madness Of desecration and lies Giving in to should've been Giving in to another end Giving in it begins again Cold water darkens red again Should I jump, afraid to fall Dive headfirst into the waves That crash against the rocky shores Modern art on a ferris wheel The muse is locked behind the door Giving in to should've been Giving in to another end Giving in it begins again Cold water darkens red Arms spread wide, I close my eyes Dive into the icy night Let the darkness be my guide And set my wounded soul to flight

Uninspired, fucking tired So lost in this place Caffeine wired, cocaine mired Such a fucking disgrace Close my eyes to see more clearly Blinded by this pain inside Taken all that I held dearly Never take my pride This need to know the answers Consumes me like a cancer Explain to me what I don't understand I see this hate and fear I see this blood, these tears Is this really what you had planned Trying to survive this nightly terror Knowing it'll never end Searching for another way Just make the same mistakes again This need to know the answers Consumes me like a cancer Explain to me what I don't understand I see this hate and fear I see this blood, these tears Is this really what you had planned Tortured by what I can't explain Drowning out here in this rain I don't want to play this game Searching for another way Try to erase the memories Hate and fear and blood and tears Close my eyes so I don't see But it only gets more clear This need to know the answers Consumes me like a cancer Explain to me what I don't understand I see this hate and fear I see this blood, these tears Is this really all that you had planned I close my eyes so I can see But it all fades away from me Taken all that I held dearly Never take my pride from me Explain to me what I don't understand I can't see what's there so clearly Explain to me what I don't understand

Drunk and broken, cold inside This isn't the way it was supposed to be Blown by this wind, I could never bend There are too many things I could never see Words spoken in the dark bring me to my knees again Can't get up this time Lost to the things the world's given me Falling to what's inside I'm lost and I am broken My hearts been ripped from me This is a game I cannot play I can't be who you want me to be Far too chaotic in my mind To seek the silence I've been trying to find Dreams I've lost long ago Return to haunt me in the night Was anything ever real Or have I been asleep forever Is this life an epic nightmare Don't want to know too numb to feel No longer have the strength to care Words spoken in the dark bring me to my knees again Can't get up this time Lost to the things the world's given me Falling to what's inside I'm lost and I am broken My hearts been ripped from me This is a game I cannot play I can't be who you want me to be How can this be ok How much more can I take Watching my heart break When will this all fall away What do you want me to be How can you take this from me Take away all that I am Make me blind so I won't see Locked within a broken mind Turn the key without a sound Rage and pain grow within One more time and now I'm gone Words spoken in the dark bring me to my knees again Can't get up this time Lost to the things the world's given me Falling to what's inside I'm lost and I am broken My hearts been ripped from me This is a game I cannot play I can't be who you want me to be And now I'm gone