Because of the popularity of the Survivor shows, several southern TV Stations are joining together and are planning to do their own, Entitled: "SURVIVOR-- SOUTHERN STYLE" The contestants will start in Montgomery, Alabama , travel over to Georgia and on to South Carolina. From there they will head up to North Carolina and over to Tennessee. They will then proceed down to Mississippi and Louisiana finally ending up back in Alabama. Each will be driving a pink Volvo with New Jersey license plates and large bumper stickers that read: I'm Gay, I'm a Vegetarian, NASCAR Sucks, Go Yankees, Hillary in 2008, and Deer Hunting is Murder! The first one that makes it back to Montgomery,Alabama alive, wins.

“If you would Like to leave me a voice message please do so.THANKS!"

Bob goes into the public rest room and sees this guy standing next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob's standing there, taking care of business, he wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going to take a leak. Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help him out. Being a kind soul, Bob says, "Ah, OK, sure, I'll help you." Then the man says, "Can you pull it out for me?" Bob replies, "Uh, yeah, OK." Bob pulls it out and it has all kinds of mold and red bumps, with hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs, scars, and reeks something awful. Then the guy asks Bob to point it for him, and Bob points for him. Bob then shakes it, puts it back in and zips it up. The guy tells Bob, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it." Bob says, "No problem, but what the hell's wrong with your penis?" The guy pulls his arms out of his shirt and says, "I don't know, but I ain't touching it."

First Time Sex A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time . The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

DJ Bad Ass Cowgirl is holding a Sexiest Tattoo on CT Contest!

There will be a male winner and a female winner.

Sexiest Tatto on CT Contest will start 02-09-07 at 12 PM EST!!! And it will run until February 28th at 12 PM!!!

So come on everyone!

Please Rate & Comment Both!

'Mrs.Babycakes ♥s

*~†The UnLoved®†*

Annoying Passengers If you are sitting next to somone who irritates you on a plane or train follow these instructions: 1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case. 2. Remove your laptop. 3. Start up 4. Make sure the guy who is annoying you, can see the screen. 5. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky. 6. Then hit this link: http://www.thecleverest.com/countdown.swf

The Three Bears Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in her little chair at the table. She looks into her little bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?!!" she squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. "Who's been eating MY porridge?!!" he roars. Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells... "For Christ's sake, how many times do we have to go through this with you idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house. It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee. It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything away. It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper. It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table. It was Mummy Bear who put the friggin' cat out, cleaned the litt er box, and filled the cat's water and food dish. And, now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs and grace Mummy Bear's kitchen with your grumpy presence, listen good, cause I'mnly gonna say this one more time.

"I HAVEN'T MADE THE FUCKING PORRIDGE YET!!"

A guy is 71 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up." He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up." He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog. The man said, "Are you talking to me?" The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride." The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket. Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride." He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."

"I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it". "Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them". "Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive". "You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me". "Earth is the insane asylum for the universe". "God must love stupid people; He made so many". "Consciousness: That annoying time between naps". "He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD". "The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson". "I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on".

Bubba liked to frequent the old swimming hole but was never able to attract the girls. He decided to ask his friend Billy-Bob for advice. "It's those big baggy swimming trunks that make you look like an old fool...They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos - about two sizes too little and drop a fist-sized tater down inside them. I'm telling ya man...you'll have all the babes you want!" The following weekend, Bubba hits the swimming hole with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato. Everybody at the swimming hole was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick! Bubba went back to his buddy Billy-Bob and asked him, "What's wrong now?" "Lard-Almighty Bubba!" said Billy-Bob, "the tater goes in the front!"