"Prison gates won't open up for me", he sings to himself as he finds that he is once again in mechanical restraints. Again, he has been so disruptive,so out of control he has left the officers no choice but to take him down. "God, Why do I do this? Why can't I control myself", He asks.
"Knock off the talking!", yells an officer into his room. "Fuck You!" he replies. "God! There I go again," he thinks "Why can't I just quit while I'm ahead?" he wonders.
But Jake never does. He constantly pushes his limits, presses the staff's buttons until they come in for him, tired of screaming, kicking doors, banging on his bed. More than willing to put him down and into restraints to quiet him.
A counselor appears in the open doorway to his room, motioning to the officer, who had been monitoring Jake from the door, to leave them alone.
"What's problem this time, Jake?" he asks, "Are you upset?Things not going your way again? What could it possibly be now?"the counselor asks. Jake replies "I'm bored". "BORED?, You did all that screaming, banging and bull because you were bored?". "Yeah, I did, I'm bored", Jake says. "Well?Sure didnt get you nowhere did it now. It got you zilch. Put on the ground, shackled, handucuffed. Full restraints. Was it worth it?" "Yeah, it was, I been here too long man!", Jake laughs. "Don't you realize",says the counselor, " AND Understand you got yourself here? YOU are the responsible party, YOU did it not the staff, not other residents..YOU and YOU alone". The counselor looks at Jake, sitting there on the floor, shackled, handcuffed to the belly chain, helmet on where he tried to bang his head off the wall. "Think about what I just said. I'll be back to talk to you". The counselor motions for the officer to take his post at Jake's door again.
Jake leans his head, heavy from the helmet, against the wall. Closing his eyes, he thinks about what he just heard. True, he thinks, I am responsible. True, I can't blame the people here for what I did. But I get so bored with this stupid bull shit day in and day out. "I fucking hate this place", He grumbles aloud. "Be quiet", orders the officer from the door way. "Man, what do you know", Jake replies. "I know this aint getting you anywhere", the offcer replies, "Not getting you out, not getting your program finished, aint gettin you any closer to goin home". Jake grows silent again, reflecting on what the counselor told him, along with this brief insight from the officer.
"Can I talk openly to you, sir," Jake asks of the officer. Looking up from his clip board, the officer nods. "Do you know what its like, how it feels to be locked up in a place like this.?" "No," says the officer,"But it can't be easy". "Can't be easy? Hell no man!It's not easy, and you have no idea.Everyday I'm forced to get up at 4:30am for med pass, 5:30am I'm brought out for breakfast, 6 am i'm told i can go to the bathroom. 7:30 I'm told to line up, we're goin across to the school. I'm told day in and day out, when I can eat, when I can go to the bathroom, when I can shower, when I can rec, when I can go to bed. Its bull, man!" Jake exclaims. "This is prison,Jake," the officer replies, "Don't end up here again, or any other place and you wont have to worry about it will you?" "Yeah, Yeah, I hear that all the time. Think first, think first. Well yeah sometimes I don't think". "Not thinking go you here didn't it?"Says the officer. "Yeah, Yeah. It did , man it did.""Jake, do you think we want to come in here and take you down? Not only do we take a risk of injuring you, but ourselves too. Plus the paperwork. YOu have no clue how much paperwork it takes when we have to do this. Now come on, do you think I like to write that much?" the officer laughs. "The quicker you learn, you aren't going to get anywhere putting on a display like that, the quicker you are going to get through your sentence and get out. Come on, and use your head!" The officer replies to Jake.
Sighing, Jake replies, "Home? What's that? Crack head mother leavin for days sometimes weeks at a time? Father who's a workaholic tryin to get us fed and clothed and keep a roof over our heads, cause mom steals us out of house and home at times?Big sister is a hooker, no lie, and my little sister is a nerd. Buries her face in her books"."She stays out of trouble though, that little sister of yours?"asks the officer. "yeah, she does." "Maybe then she is the smart one. She's gonna have a future for herself. She's not gonna get pregnant, aids, other diseases from hookin and shootin up. She's going to make a life for herself when she's old enough." Jake ponders that thought, "Well I guess I never thought of that before, but you're right. Man, you want to know what I wanted to be when I was little?" "Sure", says the officer. "An architect". "Then do it, says the officer". "How,when I am 17, possibly in here til 21, I'm only in the 8th grade and the Teachers wont let me test for GED til I'm in 9th grade?", Jake cries out. "Then do it, get to 9th, test your GED, get the hell out of here, and take some college courses. Better yourself for when YOU have kids. Don't let them become what you are right now, and could be if you don't straighten up starting right now," the officer advises, and goes back to his clipboard.
Jake turns his head away from the officer, and thinks, "Maybe, just maybe, he is right."
The counselor had been standing, just a few feet away from this exchange between officer and resident. Smiling, he placed a hand on the officer's shoulder, and silently commended him, for taking the time to listen to Jake. A very troubled kid with a long way to go. "It's been an hour and a half, you ready to come out of those things and get to bed? Ready to start fresh?". "Yes, sir", Jake replies yawning. "Ok then, see you in the morning , we'll talk, and remember," says the counselor, "Think". "I will," replies Jake, who now removed from the mechanical restraints, drifts off to sleep, dreaming of plans for a big builing......
