Another wonderful, but short weekend with my 2 beautiful little girls just came to an end.
It never get's any easier having to pack their things and get them ready for the ride back to their mothers house.
It never gets any easier gettng on that plane flying back home and seeing the girls comfortable yet empty rooms, reminding me that it will be another month before I see them again.
I talk to them as I have everyday since they left, once when they wake, once when they are settling down for the day, but it never makes it any easier.
How do you explain it, how do you make anyone understand feeling like this was worth getting away from a bad relationship?
I love them so much, but am I selfish for ending the family because I couldn't take her anymore. Everything she has done since says I had no other choice, but why does it have to hurt so much.
Will they be forever scared because of me? Will they never trust, or feel love?
I hope and pray that in the years to come they will see for themselves why their mother and I are not together anymore.
Why in order for me to be who I am, I needed to be free from a person with no idea who I am.
I keep telling myself that it is for the better, but better for who?
Everytime I get to hear my babys say Daddy I love you I break down and cry. I cry because I am whole again, I cry because the time hasn't wilted away their love for me and I have a small ounce of hope that all will be ok.
But no matter how much I can hope for a bright future, It never gets any easier saying goodbye.............
