All the taste none of the calories's blog: "Curve Appeal"

Enough of the torment.........enough of the pain. When is enough going to be enough for my ex so she can stop @#$% with me and my relationship with my girls? I let her move my girls to FL, the ultimate sacrifice yet she exploits my sacrifice every chance she gets. "You can have more time with the girls, but they can't leave the state" "Your youngest is to young to spend that much time away from me". My girls love the time they have away from the stress that drove me out the door. They love spending time with me. Now I am having to deal with my ex fighting me on my summer visitation schedule. She agreed to what I am excerising this summer when we got divorced. But now she doesn't like it, thinks it is to long and will force me to go to court to excerise my rights. It is so frustrating having to fight for the right to see my children. All I want is my time with them. She expects the world from me yet gives me @#$% in return. I spend almost every last dime I have to see my girls. I pay for over 85% of the travel expenses, I go out of my way to see them every month. When will I catch a break and have someone see the hurtles I have to jump over to maintain a relationship with my girls and that my ex tries to raise them ever chance she get? The family court system has done nothing for me except deplete my savings. It is a shame that fathers like me , who want to be an active part of their children's lives, have no rights in the family court system. I am angry and I have had enough of the fucken shit I deal with.............

Another wonderful, but short weekend with my 2 beautiful little girls just came to an end. It never get's any easier having to pack their things and get them ready for the ride back to their mothers house. It never gets any easier gettng on that plane flying back home and seeing the girls comfortable yet empty rooms, reminding me that it will be another month before I see them again. I talk to them as I have everyday since they left, once when they wake, once when they are settling down for the day, but it never makes it any easier. How do you explain it, how do you make anyone understand feeling like this was worth getting away from a bad relationship? I love them so much, but am I selfish for ending the family because I couldn't take her anymore. Everything she has done since says I had no other choice, but why does it have to hurt so much. Will they be forever scared because of me? Will they never trust, or feel love? I hope and pray that in the years to come they will see for themselves why their mother and I are not together anymore. Why in order for me to be who I am, I needed to be free from a person with no idea who I am. I keep telling myself that it is for the better, but better for who? Everytime I get to hear my babys say Daddy I love you I break down and cry. I cry because I am whole again, I cry because the time hasn't wilted away their love for me and I have a small ounce of hope that all will be ok. But no matter how much I can hope for a bright future, It never gets any easier saying goodbye.............

Couldn't have asked for a better birthday gift, spending the weekend before and the day of my birthday with my girls. My littlest one brings me to tears everytime she tells me "Happy Birthday daddy, I love you so much!" and when my oldest gives me a card that has little notes in it about missing me, loving me and how I am the best dad ever, even with the little time we spend together, my heart melts. Fathers be good to your daughters.................

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Well I have been in London for work since last sunday. Supposed to have left on Friday but got stuck here over the weekend and until what looks like tomorrow, which is tuesday. I like this city but people are not as friendly a they are back in the state. I have been lonely, stuck in my hotel except for the occasional trip out for food and drink.......hitting a city alone makes you feel like a stalker......lol Though I don't see my kids everyday because of the distance between us normally, trips like this make me miss them even more. I need something to get all this stuff off my mind.........any suggestions?