it hurts... everything hurts... My eyes from cryin... thr swoolen n beat read, i can barley see...my back from standing all day... my shoulders from stress...my feet from my stoopid ass effin shoes....my knee cuz it wants to give me problems when things are goin good...my head from the yelling...but most of all...most of all my heart hurts
i honestly think that ther is no place for me in this world anymore...im thinkin of packin my shit n headin to the clouds...i have nuthin.. i have noone...ok i may have ash,chelle,jeremy,kira,james,sean, n kevin...but without a computer...i dont have them either.. so whats the use...
i have no money.. i feel no matter how hard i work... no matter what i do.. i just cant pay my bills...im 6000 n dept...all medical bills...n my cell if off..no cummincation....
i have no car.... without money i have no car..duh..the pos just sits in the parkin lot...rotting away like its owner
i have no love...thats what hurts the most...i lost all my friends... i have no one to talk to anymore.. n if my cable ever goes out.. i loose all my frineds here too... my family hates me...my grama n i just got into it.. really really bad too...i went n slept in my car for a while..well idk if i slept..i wasnt gone that long n its way to cold to sleep.. i pretty much jut layed ther n cried....idk why she flipped...i worked 10hrs today.. n got home n wanted to sit n relax...but she wanted cigs.. i told her to wait cuz i was tired as hell... then an hr later i was gunna go get them.. but she yelled for me to do the dishes.. i told her to ask my 14yr old cuz who lays on her ass alll day long.. and she called me a lazy fuckin bitch.. i was like wtf...how come i go to work 10hrs a day.. nikki lays around... n yet im a bitch cuz im tired...so thats when i went to my car...its to cold.. so i came in... idk if shes knows im home...i have no love..at all... i was with berg last week.. and im sick of his lying...again he tells me all this shit.. but yet hes still with kelly n isnt plannin on leavin.. thank god nuthin happend that night...o id be more fucked up then i already am
so all im sayin is idk how much longer ill be around..cuz im out of here...mentally already.. n soon maybe physically... i just need to decide how n when will be the best time
