Manda Monium's blog: "Please Read This."

(this is my first blog so bare with me)

Amanda is my name. I have been a part of Fubar for over three years now. I am the DJ Manager of Club Vegas. I have been there since the day it opened and have met some really awesome people that I would have never met had it not been for Sassy, Brian, and Mimi (the owners of Vegas).

Just recently we had a incident with a coder of outs. We needed help and he was not around so a few people in our lounge went looking for a coder to help out. The found one who could code our lounge where it did not lag anyone because we had had a lot of complaints about it, but our coder got mad about being replaced and completely fired himself. Him and his fu-wife then left and unsubscribed from Club Vegas. When this coder left he told me that he wouldn't ask me to choose between him and Vegas.

Now you see Sassy is like my big sis, and the coder well I loved him and he claimed to love me as well. So you see my predicament. Yesterday Coder (that is what I will refer when I speak of him because I am not going to drop in his name I'm just not like that) came asking me how he couldn't believe I was still at Club Vegas after how he was treated. I proceeded to tell him I didn't and wouldn't choose. Then he said If something happened to me or his girl he would drop everything and be by our sides and tell all of them to fuck off. I then told him.

"You want me to choose? You have my love and hear, but yet I have to stand by to watch and hear you call your fu-wife baby and honey and tell her you lover her knowing you will never tell me or call me the same in front of her. I sit around waiting to talk to you at night after she has gone to bed even though I have to work early the next morning. You tell me to leave them and if they trully cared about me they would still stand by me. That would be a very lonely existance for me. Only having you part time and not having them at all. But if you truly cared about me you would never ask me to choose in the first place. Sassy never once asked me to choose. In telling me to choose you have in fact chose for me."

Because he couldn't accept me the way I was. He has lost me. This is the third time he has shut me out and ignored me it will not happen again. I have his two last messages here from the end of our last conversation and my comments then I will e done and on my way to putting this behind me.

1) He said "You made your decision now I hope you rot in hell with the rest of Vegas." My thoughts on this. First if I may rot in hell but it's not going to be because of what happened here. For I don't believe I was wrong for standing by my friends. I hope all of you who frequent Club VEgas are reading this because I know that Vegas is a great lounge. And I don't think you would appreciate what was said about it all. I don't believe you are the type of people to let him push us down. He thinks he can drive Club Vegas into the ground. Let's show him he is wrong and that Vegas can and will triumph over his immature and stupid hissy fits.

2) He said. "You just proved to me what I am to you and how much you trully care. You don't know the meaning of love, care, and commitment." My response to this lovely little tidbit is BULLSHIT! If he had given two shits about me or my feelings. If he had truly loved me he wouldn't have aksed me to choose between two very special people in the first place. But you would think that if "I" am not the one that knows the meaning of love, care, and commitment and he did. Then they the hell would he sneak around on someone he claims to be in love with. I mean it's all over his page afterall.

I know I was not right in doing what I did with him knowing he was not available in that sense and I will take the responsibility of my actions and try my hardest not to do it again with anyone else who is not free to show his love for me. I may not know everything about being in love or commited, but I at least learn from my mistakes.

I am 22 years old and I have learned a lot from this childish and immature incident from a fully grown man in his 30's and who doesn't know what the hell he wants, but it WILL NOT happen again. I hope you are reading this and it gives you some insight on how truly Fucked Up some people really are.