I'm gonna say sorry first....this is how I get it out. I am not an emotional woman. And I have been through so much in my life...more than I am willing to admit or talk about.
I am not your typical woman...I am 28 and I have been through hell. I've never been able to communicate feelings which is ironic cause I am generally the nicest and genuine people you'll ever meet, and I have a huge heart. I'm giving and I care...but only when it pertains to others. Showing my feelings is something I do not do. I have very high walls. And up till recently noone has even tried to overcome them. I want this person. I want him to succeed, but I have all these things in my head telling me I am a fool. I can still hear my my ex and I can still hear my mom. I just want to be happy...I've let go..but when you've been through what I have been through...it's hard to discertain. To weed it out completely.
So why do I doubt it? Why do I know he's being honest and true, but I doubt? It's not fair...not by a long shot. I don't want to hurt anyone, and yet that is all I am doing.
So anyways...I'm just trying to find peace and happiness. I want everyone around me to find what they want.. I want to be me...and you know what? I think I found her. Now let's see if y'all can handle her.
One more thing....I have met and fallen for someone....I can honestly say that I love him. Never thought it would happen, but it has and he's just what I was wanting and more. I love you and you know who you are!!!
