8 months with you spent "open" or "poly". 8 months of dating other men i wasn't interested in, 8 months of cold lonely friday nights alone, 8 months ofyou trying to buy your way into my heart, 8 months spent improving myself in every fashion i could imagine, 8 months of falling short and being told about it. to get this. a nice "mutual" breakup. i said i was ok with it cause i thought i was. i thought it was for the best. until i felt it. and i said i would give you another chance down the road because i thought i would. i loved you.
but now, things are being seen much clearer now. i look back and notice just how many times you made me unhappy and i kept my mouth shut. every time you commented on what was wrong with me i didnt lash out, i just tried to be better for you.
now i see its really over. and i see you, for all your faults. and i want the last 8 months back.
there will be no madly in love, clinging to each other as much as possible, wild sex every night, sharing of our lives. you never wanted that and you took away a peice of me, the peice that loves cuddling eve if its for ten minutes and i had to drive an hour to get there. i want that head over heels love. and you wouldn't give it to me.
even though i waited, 8 long months.
here's to goodbye's
