I remember how it all started. And now, it appears to be ending.
I remember the first time we met. Wondering just what you wanted of me. Never quite getting an answer, but always feeling calm despite my nerves. Dreading the day I knew would come, but making plans like it wouldn't.
I remember many a questioning by my friends. Especially once I asked them for favors so we could be together more. The speculations, the insinuations, the questions I never knew the answer and likely never will. I knew only I enjoyed your presence and I was willing to let you set the limits. I wanted you to be happy. And now, you are.
I remember the time the limits were breached. Wondering if I had gone too far. Wondering if you were like my history. Wondering if you too; would leave me. You did. But not then. You smiled at my fears and told me not to worry. It did affect you and I felt the first cold winds of fall blowing. The summer died and dried, but we carried on.
I remember the time together. The laughs, making you wonder what I wanted while I wondered what you wanted. I remember making you happy. It never seemed enough. The smile never reached past your eyes to your soul.
And now, the memory is all I have. My curse, my salvation. The thorn I cling to desperately so I don't fall into the abyss below.
As a friend said the first time I mentioned you, you used me. Which hurt, but not as much as that you don't need to use me anymore.
True, you've said your future isn't as certain as it should be. Your happiness has a few major bumps. And while I'm praying you don't fall from grace; I'll be here to catch you if you do.
Remember me, I'll remember you.
