Cavaleiro das Trevas's blog: "Shut up and listen"



Tracie M: not, what i hate and have rold you is how people mcome into my life, act like they care and rthen djisappear, and what to know why i get upset

spartukus03: this is how I look at it Tracie. I approach you and talk to you, attempt to talk you at a later time and get the perception that you are busy or don't want to talk to me at the moment so I just let you be and sort of wait for you to contact me... months later when you haven't contacted me I try to say hello again...... but if you categorize me as one of those people who come in your life pretend to care and then disappear... that is too bad because that isn't me.... and since those people bother you and I am in that category I will be sure not to do it again

Tracie M: reality is i dont leave my house and i dont talk to anyone anymore, so that is fine, you r better off that way forgetting you ever talked tome, i am not worth a poen ny

spartukus03: that is certainly not the case Tracie... I don't talk to you because I am better off talking to you, it isn't because I want something from you. I talk to yo because I simply have enjoyed talking to you... and the only reason I mentioned I think I should stop altogether is because you seemed to have categorized me in the group of people who come in, pretend to care, then leave... I don't think that is me specially if you stop to think when was the last time you wrote me or text me or contacted me compared to how often I have tried to contact you..... but since I am in the category of people who bother you then i don't want to bother you

Tracie M: then dont because i have nithing to offer anyoine

spartukus03: that is what I am trying to say

spartukus03: I don't care what you have to offer

Tracie M: ok,hen it is simple

spartukus03: it has never been about what you have to offer

Tracie M: i have nothing to offer period

spartukus03: don't you think that there might be people out there who aren't out to get things from others?

Tracie M: i just want to be out of this world, plain and simple

spartukus03: who simply enjoy engaging other people, sharing ideas, and experiences?

spartukus03: you want to be out of this world huh? that is a real shame

Tracie M: now really, i have been doing alot ofmthinking nand nthat is my goal, just getting my anumals a place to live,

spartukus03: that is just too bad, but if you have your mind made up, who am I to try to change it

spartukus03: after all, you don't think I actually care so anything I say will be in vain

Tracie M: you cant, a peraon can only hadnle so much pain and huet and i hit myine

spartukus03: no, a person can endure so much more... no one has ever died from a broken heart

spartukus03: people have given up because of a broken heart

spartukus03: or because of the pain and hurt you are talking about

spartukus03: but that is because they gave up

spartukus03: I suppose I just think differently

Tracie M: AND I HAVE GIUVEN UP

spartukus03: yeah I gathered that, and that is why I think it is shame, and why I won't try to change your mind....

spartukus03: but I will tell you that if you need me I am here for you as much as possible and have always been

spartukus03: you just never reached out

Tracie M: i have tried for 2 yrs, and veryone think i can just stop hburtong, how fucking funny that is, if life was that easy, we wouldnt all be running around hating each other m0re and more, but for me, i try and try and try and ni just keep getting hurt no matter what approach i take, i am just over no skleeping, no eatong, not caring, cant even get out of bed, and so many tears, life isnt suppose to gurt like this

Tracie M: and i am tird of talking about it, it fixes nothing

Tracie M: becuaae you had a woman, and as much as i could have fucked with that, i didnt

spartukus03: you are a better person then that

Tracie M: yes i am, and that is why i qm akone

Tracie M: becuase no one wants a good woman

Tracie M: they want drama,games, and whatever else, i stipped trying to figure it out a long time ago why i get to pay for being a good woman

spartukus03: because you are a good person and a good woman, men have taken advatage of that... it isn't your fault

Tracie M: yes it is, because i let them, i want to be carewd aBOUT, THEY SEE THAT, AND USE UT, FOR WHAT A PIECE OF ASS, TOO SEE MY CRY, IF I KNEW THE ANSWERS WHY MAYBE IT WOULDNT HAPPEN

spartukus03: when some one is happy with who they are they don't need some one else to make themselves feel better..... maybe you just need some time off be alone... maybe away from men altogether

spartukus03: I don't want to make it seem like I know the answers

spartukus03: God knows I don't

spartukus03: and I would never offend you in that way by assuming I know what is wrong or that I know how you feel

spartukus03: I simply don't

spartukus03: but there is one thing I believe to be true

spartukus03: and that is where there is a will there is a way

spartukus03: if your will is to end your life... you will do that

spartukus03: if your will is to live life

spartukus03: you will do that too

spartukus03: if your will is to stop hurting, and feeling all this pain... you will find the way to do that

spartukus03: you said you have tried it in many different ways

spartukus03: but tell me something

spartukus03: have you tried being alone?

spartukus03: or simply being away from men

spartukus03: because to me (from the little I know) men are the cause of most of your pain

Tracie M: I BEEN WUTH TWO GUYS SINCE OCT LAST YR

Tracie M: IS THAT LONG ENOUGH, I AM LONEKY, YOU THINK IT IS EASY

spartukus03: I am sure it is not

Tracie M: i still have needs, and i stilll want to be held and kissed and toiuched

spartukus03: I understand that

spartukus03: but those needs you have are temporarely fulfilled by men who don't care

spartukus03: and that in the long run hurt you more

spartukus03: I bet they hurt you more now then the pain you feel by being alone or not having those needs you speak of fulfilled

Tracie M: no worries, it wont wver hapopen again

spartukus03: I am afraid the reason it won't happen again isn't because things got better

spartukus03: but you have made up your mind

spartukus03: for what it is worth, some guy that you never really met actually cared, and enjoyed your company even if just over the internet

spartukus03: I hope you find the peace, and happiness you search

Tracie M: there is no peace on this earth, and dont worry, you will forget my name very soon,

spartukus03: I beg to differ in all counts

spartukus03: There is peace on this earth

spartukus03: I do worry

Tracie M: then you will have agood nlife, mine is doine

spartukus03: and I will never forget you or your name

Tracie M: will please do, because you cant help me

spartukus03: I know that

spartukus03: I already told you

spartukus03: I just wanted you to know that at one point in your life you did meet some one who cared

spartukus03: who noticed what was happening from a far

spartukus03: and just shared some sentiments with you

spartukus03: learned from knowing you

spartukus03: and

spartukus03: took your advises in matter he felt you knew more about life then he did

spartukus03: there Tracie you touched the life of one person in this earth... you are free to go

Tracie M: THANKS, JUST HOPE I AM WITH THE ONLY THINGS THAT LOVED ME,Y ANIMALS