slayne finally a place for me to unleash's blog: "I didnt mean to"

Life is obviously not easy for anybody, I do not hold myself any higher than anybody else despite the wars I have fought within myself just to survive no matter how dark my world seems. I am sorry Cherrytapian this is not the mindless banter that a lot of this site seems to promote. I am writing this for me and thats it. I feel pretty alone on CT anyways just a fucking popularity contest nobody seems to give a flying fuck really. although I met one very special girl on here, but where did that go? Ah...well I guess thats a good place to start, When a lady tells you, I want something real. my question is what is to real?to honest? what emotions are appropriate when you see the deeper things in a person and you know you like them. the only person I know how to be is myself, yet I find that myself is brutally honest and true to my word. I always find first dates impossible because I put up a wall trying not to let myself get hurt and because of that I probably come across as fake. because I am the kind of guy that can like a person in just a few minutes. I am very confident in my self and am well aware of how likeable a person I am, but I question myself and get really confused when the first date is over. Second on the agenda: Survival Now, I know it doesnt come across this way when people talk to me, because I know I am normal but a fact I face everyday of my life is I am still disabled. I dont look at myself this way but the problem with not looking at myself this way is when I have a problem doing something thjat I could do before my Anerism I get frustration and very discouraged to a point where it becomes my focus of something I cant do that everyone around me can. and yes it makes me feel inadequate and unworthy sometimes yet I try to be strong usually ending in failure. it seeme impossible to focus on an objective when these things come into play. Fortunately I have never known how to give up. I tried once and it was actually harder than trying to succeed so I litterally cant stop myself from trying in every aspect of life. and again this is where my Lady issues come in, always being told I am trying to hard yet I dont even realize it because its how I have survived that its just a part of me. but I thought that would just have a woman want me all the more because she would see that I live my life not giving up on anything. In life, I push my self to be everything I can possibly achieve. I tire the shit out of myself just trying to be stable and secure in life and I never take a break from myself. All my friends have gotten married or have kids, and I have never had a female I could even consider a Girlfriend, even though I treated them extremely well. I learned the hard-way for them it was more of a comfort sex pal. most guiys would love this, but not me I still have that dream of being a family that truly loves each other. but I guess those days are a thing of the past in our society. Employment: too many factors . For most people Employment is on a low and I share the same status. However its even harder when you have to inform your interviewer you are physically handicapped. this is painful just to have to admit that and then face that they will most likely hire somebody who isnt as bad off. kinda makes a person wish they were never born. So you probably wonder where happines comes in to this. happiness is quite simply feeling love from friends and family. The simpler things in life make me happy like taking a walk in the woods alone or with a friend. being playful by nature helps. getting a hug from a friend male or female. getting a friendly kiss on the cheek from a female friend. The most important things that truly make me happy are not selfish but rather giving. I love helping someone that needs a shoulder to cry on or just simply buying somebody dinner when I can afford it with nothing expected in return.

Do you like it rough or sensual?: BOTH Do you prefer to be with the opposite sex or the same sex? or both?: OPP0SITE, I did have a bicurious experment in college and was not for me. How often do you like to have sex?: as many times a day as my penis can handle, roughly 2 or 3 times A DAY Is sex a top priority for you?: NO Do you have sex face to face with your partner?: very nice,but then we get kinky How often do you get drunk and have wild, crazy sexy with a complete stranger?: not that I recall How do you feel about one night stands?: back in my younger days but not for a few years now How many one night stands have you had?: 2 What's your favorite position?: many, lets get creative. Where's your favorite place to have sex?: ANYWHERE Do you prefer to make love or f*uck?: BOTH Have you ever watched porn while having sex?: YES How long do you usually fore-play b4 doing the deed?: I aim for lengthy amounts of time and feel it out with her. some girls are just way to passive those are the ones i may for a little bit because they dont seem fun with sex. with one that plays back ... well it can go 30 to an hour. Do you get off first or do they?: I pride in the fact that they usually do multiple times before me. but if they dont I wont without permission. Do you like kissing during sex?: of course her face lips thieghs all-over. my lips are sensitive to touch more than any thing else on my body other than the obvious , Do you moan? If so, are you loud or quite?: some times and it depends if the girl is really into it with her finger nails in my back Do you prefer your partner to be loud or quite?: doesnt matter as long as i dont feel like im with a cheesy porn-star. but if its genuine go as loud or soft as needed. Does size matter (for girlz-- dicks/for guyz-- boobs)?B or c not to big not to small. How old were you when you lost your virginity?:22 How many sexual partners have you have in the last month?: 0 What does your favorite fore-play include?: HAND CUFFS, chains,rope and oral Do you ever play with yourself during the act?: I HAVE Do you prefer to sleep with randoms or one person?: one steady Have you ever done anal? If so, did you like it?: no and wouldnt try, thats yucky When and where was your wildest sex ever?: cant really think of anything wild but I had a 3some with an ex and her bestfriend, and once tagteamed a girl, it just kind of happened. then the friend of mine got put aside because she wanted me in her again. What's your ultimate sexual fantasy?: anothe threesome, with one in which I love and trust with some roleplaying on film but the other is a girl. Have you ever done porn?: IVE MADE MY OWN solo and a few pictures with others I care to forget about. Have you ever have sex for money?: NO Have you ever bribed someone to sleep with you?:NO Is the sex still good when your cheating?: WTF, cheaters never find fulfillment... I dont cheat. During sex... what are you thinking about?: what creativity shall i spontaneosly come up with to keep this fresh and fun. Do you prefer the top or the bottom at first?: I am kind of a switch seeing one sexcapade can last hours How many positions do you like to do during one episode?: as many as I can contort my body in to Do you ever worry about how your pleasing your partner?: my main quest.. so of course if shes not happy II am not the man I want to be. so her pleasure is everything. Could you live without sex?: I could, but would be the point. I am a good person and I have no religious need not to. I am an sex-animal. but a gentleman. How often do you find sex boring?: when the are passive or dont suck cock. How long does a typical sexual episode last for you?: I think I already answerered that... is she good and fun or sucky. Do you like to perform oral sex?: YES, if its fresh an clean I will do the same Do you like to recieve oral sex?: duh... yeah Have you ever taped yourself in the act?: YES Have you ever had a 3-some? 4-some? 5-some?: yes on three but no on 4 and 5. I dont like a crowd. Have you ever had interracial sex?: no, I am not really attracted to many other races except for asians with light skin. Have you ever been caught in the act? yes I was getting head in the park an a guy and his wife walking their dog caught us. Have you ever had sex while at work?: no, but would definitely like that Have you ever had sex while at school?: Nope I used school for my intelligence What is something that you would never consider doing?: anal, something just doesnt seem nessary or attractive . Have you ever had sex on drugs?: weed once Would you ever have sex in public?: YES BEEN THERE DONE THAT, as long as i dont face felony charges. What's your biggest turn on?: fingernails in my back during sex Do you spit or swallow?: never sucked a cock How many times have you gotten off in one night?: 3 Would you let other people watch you have sex live?: I HAVE Have you have ever sex in front of your best friend?: YES Have you ever had sex with your best friend's b/f or g/f?: nope Do you ever have sex in the shower?: cant find a willing participant til recently What's the weirdest place you've ever done it?: cant lie nowhere that weird just the normal boring crap. What was the biggest age difference with a partner?: 8 years Do you feel your up to par in bed?: I usually get mentioned to others about how good I am. Are you still gonna have sex when your 70?: of course+ What was your most embarrassing sexual moments?: , when i failed to perform one time,well actually my first time and I got viagra, but it wasnt needed How old is "too young" to have sex your in opinion?: UNDER 16 Do you like to be completely naked or half-assed?: totally naked even when i jerk off alone. Have you ever done it at your grandparent' s?: NO Have you ever done it on a boat/yacht?: wouldnt mind it. its the motion of the ocean baby. What's the most public place that you can think of that you've had sex at?: a party. Do you like having sex in cars? If so, driver seat, passenger, or back?: YES AND IT DOESNT MATTER Has any of your one night stands resulted in a child that you know of?: NOPE I blew load on their tits or face If your over 18, have you ever had sex with someone under 18?: NO Do you prefer to sleep with someone older or younger than you?: younger What's the perfect size? (for girlz-- inches in dicks/for guyz-- cup size)?:b-c Have you ever done bondage sex (chains,whips, etc.)? If not, would you?: yes. Have you ever slept with someone out of pity?: NO Can you remember who gave you the best sex of your life?: OH YEA If you could sleep with ANYONE, who would it be?:hmm not sure. ........

Apparently there is rumor going around that I am unleashing Viruses on CT so its time for me to give everyone a rundown on how this is not possible, and why it is being spread. 1. I have extensive knowlege on computers yes, I am a consultant. I would have to somehow inbed an executable file on the server, which would obviously be spotted right away or render CT and every computer that logs on to CT practically useless. the other option would be to program Macros which are embedded within the text, but this is impossible for the text selectin is already programmed into CT only allowing HTML coding. to properly aim a virus I would need to use Borland C++ or Pascal which would be instantaneously blocked by the server the only possible way to send a virus is by making you click an unreconizable link directly to an upload page which is not any where in my profile. 2. I am not getting involved in drama Just merely protecting My name from Slander on CT. this started because of a girl I have never met yet was quite fond of and we were talking on yahoo quite frequently... and I was having a bad day and it came out unintentionally in my etiquetteor lack of. However she realized this, and understood has she had several bad days I was on the recieving end... however girls dish, and one of her friends threw all this BS at me about maliciously attacking her. so she said she was gonna spread BS on here, it can continue all it wants she can bash me all she wants.. but this is the last I will mention my behalf because its a waste of time. I am just here to have fun with flirting, nothing more. Adam

Its weird but I am not one to get all emotional and stuff, though I interestingly Met somebody off of CT. and I really like her just from talking to her, and though we will probably never really get too meet in person. I have grown very fond of her. but this is where the problem comes in, I try to be myself and contain a social life at the same time never really giving myself a rest... we set a date on yahoo messenger and I sat down for an hour to watch the only show that really matters anything to me"family guy". unfortunately I didnt realize they swapped the schedule around due too some stupid football and was a half hour late online....Thus making the female I do care about feel less than satisfactory to me.... and the worst part is i said that I wanted to see family guy because as you know us men can be pretty dumb at times. I did however message her right when i walked in the door 10 minutes before family guy should have started. its hard for me too because as much as I like talking with her, and we end up cybering I know in the end its not fully real, but I want it to be. So my question is how should i treat my mistake at this point do I try to let it blow over or do i look at a net date as being the same exact as a real date and treat it as one?