SweetTart's blog: "Random Crap"

This isn't mine but I thought I would share it because I have an anxiety disorder, and it might help people understand me a bit more as pretty much all of this is true!

I just want people to stop judging or assuming stuff about me and maybe this will help.

things we are trying to do all the time:
*be safe

things we can’t help but do all the time:
*second-guess ourselves
*self sabotage, usually unintentionally
*behave impulsively and reactively
*take everything personally
*blow things out of proportion
*worry
*have difficulty accepting compliments
*desire attention while also shying away from it
*have difficulty reciprocating friendly gestures
*worry
*have difficulty finding the courage to respond
*worry we're a burden
*have difficulty not being suspicious of others’ intentions
*worry
*make a huge deal out of the smallest thing
*think we're bothering you

things you should keep in mind:
*we’re scared of everything
*pretty much all of the time
*anxiety is not an excuse-it's an impairment
*it’s an actual disorder
*don't take our neurosis personally
*seriously it's not you it's us
*it manifests as impulsive behavior
*we might fidget a lot, not because we're not interested, but because we're nervous and need to do something to get the energy out
*eye contact is often scary, it's not your fault but don't fault us either
*you can’t fix us with words
*telling us “worrying is silly” won’t make us stop worrying
*it’ll only make us feel silly
*and then we’ll worry even more
*“oh god, am i worrying too much? what if they call me silly again?”
*like that
*also, we wear a lot of armor
*cold, heavy, affection-proof armor with spikes
*we constructed this armor as children
*we’re fairly certain you will never be able to pry it apart
*but there is a nice person under there, we promise

things you can do for a friend with an anxiety disorder:
*stick around
*ask what causes it; be ready for a long list
*ask if we are anxious;be ready for us to say yes
*we often are without specific cause
*ask them if they’re comfortable in a place or situation
*be willing to change the place or situation if not
*we try to adapt to the world, but sometimes the world needs to adapt to us
*activities that help them take their mind off of things are good!
*talk to them even when they might not talk back
(they’re probably too afraid to say the wrong thing)
*try not to take their reactions (or lack thereof) personally
(the way they expresses themself is distorted and bent because of their constant fear)
(and they know this)
*don't think we don't trust you because we're still anxious around you
*give them time to respond to you
*they will obsess over how they are being interpreted
*they will anticipate being judged
*it took me four hours just to type this much
*even though i sound casual
*that’s because i have an anxiety disorder

things you shouldn’t do:
*tell us not to worry
*tell us we'll be fine
*we know that, it really doesn't help with the thoughts of being crazy
•say "it's easy" in reference to social situations
*say "just don't think about it"
*tell us it's not that bad
*tell us we’ll be fine
*mistake praise for comfort
*push us to do more
*ask us if we are “getting help”
*ask if we really need meds (if we do take them)
•say we're looking for attention

*assume we're stuck up of stand-offish

*force us to be social
*force us to do things that trigger us
*“face your fears” doesn’t always work
*because—remember—scared of everything
*in fact, it would be more accurate to say we are scared of the fear itself
*ask "but you're not afraid of me, right?"
it's like saying "so you're afraid of guns" then pulling one out "but your no afraid of my gun*, right?"

emergency action procedure for panic attacks:
*be calm
*be patient
*don’t be condescending
*remind us that we’re not “crazy”
*sit with us
*ask us to tighten and relax our muscles one by one
*remind us that we are breathing
*engage us in a discussion (if we can talk, then we can breathe)
*if we are having trouble breathing, try getting us to exhale slowly
*(it will be harder for us to exhale than inhale)
*(sometimes all it takes is our body to realize it can push the air back out)
*or breathe through our nose
*or have us put our hands on our stomach to feel each breath
*or have us put a hand on your chest and breath with you
*ask us what needs to change in our environment in order for us to feel safe
*help us change it
*sometimes tactile sensations help- ice pack, hot pack, plush toy, small sips of ice water
*is sensations or proximity seem to make it worse leave us alone, we usually know what we need and sometimes you won't be it
*usually, just knowing that we have someone on our side willing to fight our scary monsters with us is enough to calm us down

if you have an anxiety disorder:
*it’s okay.
*even if you worry that it’s not okay.
*it’s still okay. it’s okay to be scared. it’s okay to be scared of being scared.
*you are not crazy. you are not a freak.
*anyone who says so is an ignorant ass and wrong
*you are stronger than most for living with this and trying to overcome it
there is no shame in accepting you have a disorder, this does not make you weak*
*i know there’s a person under all that armor.
*and i know you feel isolated because of it.
*i won’t make you take it off.
*but know that you are not alone