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So I went out last night and I went to my favorite little pub down the street. Didn't think it would be that busy but the place was jumpin'! I mean, I had to suck like 16 dicks just to get to the freakin' bar. So, me being me, I of course loaded up on 3 beers at a time each time I made it to the bar. And then came all my pals, including Bartender Bob, buying me shots of the Devil Whiskey. For some reason they love to see the Dumplyn in her utmost mean and shit-tay, not givin' a fuck...hmmm. I had sworn to "take it easy" and by saying that I mean, NO WHISKEY. But what can you do after 3-4 trips to the bar and slamming 3 beers at a time?? And when somebody offers ya a shot, well hell it's impolite not to take it right??? Well, I get to slapping asses and chicks get pissed and of course I get the "What are you gonna do about it bitch?" attitude. I'm lifting skirts, I'm grabbing asses...all with my sweet little Dumplyn smile and my friends of course are just lovin' it and laughing their asses off at my jackassery. So basically we are all having a good time and then this dude with whom I have been fueding with for a while shows up and tries some bullshit with me and my good times momentarily went into the shitter. I flipped and tried to attack, had to be held back - utter insanity ensued. My throat hurts from all the screaming I was doing because my big buddy Lou had me by the waist while I was throwing punches at this dude. This cocklick headbutted me and pushed me backwards into a wall!!! Well in Dumplynland that just does NOT happen. DOES NOT HAPPEN! So I start throwing and my friends rush to help "me" or rather this dude - because there really is nothing more dangerous than a pissed off Dumplyn (who BTW has evry right to BE pissed off at said dude) drunk on High Life and copius amounts of cheap whiskey. Anyway, this faggotty ass faggot was told to get the fuck off the property by the owners who have known me since I was 20 years old and he stalked off into the night like the dipshit that he is. HA! So, after some slight bitching and some more whiskey shots bought for me - one of the regs bought me a rose from the China lady who came in with all her flowers. Of course I insulted her by asking what she would give me for "5 dolla"...I thought she would smack me, which might have turned me on at that point lol Ya never know with me. See it's shit like this - this is the reason that I need to be with my Sharpenstein. I simply have no self control. 1) I am an asshole 2) I have no control over what flows out of my mouth 3) I enjoy insulting others maybe a bit too much 4) I am an asshole 5) My jackassery will one day get me into serious trouble 6) My rage will one day get me into serious trouble 7) My knives will one day become exhibits a and b in a trial of some sort Yeah, Sharp...he knows I need and love him and he needs and loves me and all my jackass/dipshitness. This new year promises to be the best year ever. I'm getting out of this stupid fucking town and into one with my loving Man. Some changes within ME are needed - my core dork is always gonna be there, but certain changes are much needed and will be much welcome. I will however always enjoy being a sadist, that much I do know. However, maybe I can learn a little more self control in all areas. Maybe I can regain/gain that filter between my brain and mouth that I lost/was never born with all those years ago. Hmmmmm....I"m anxious to see what this year shall hold in store. As for right now - I'm anxious for WATER and Ibuprofen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and for that dude to set himself on fire)
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12 years ago
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