Something about watching a nuclear apocalypse and the downfall of civilization on TV or film gets me every time. There’s a hook on how the calamity comes about. How will survivors react? To what lengths will survivors go to make the world anew? Would modern society be that boring and dreadful if there were no ipods, computers, TV shows or DVDs to enjoy? These and many other intriguing questions arise from such pieces of fantastic fiction.
Growing up as night fell on the Cold War era, I still flocked to the TV set any time an apocalyptic film aired. And not just any flick about the end of the world. The required criteria? A relatively sound script. A decent cast. Cool special effects. A promise from filmmakers that the viewer would not regret having wasted two hours on marvelous celluloid cheese.
For those not in the know, the latest piece of apocalypse du jour is “Jericho,” which airs Wednesday nights on CBS. The drama just barely survived its first season, ratings-wise. (As of this writing it's unclear whether CBS will give it a second season. The season finale kicked ass on screen, but the ratings utterly sucked.) But things could’ve been worse for the hour-long program, which is based on a fictional small Kansas town coping with the aftermath of a nuclear war.
Aside from the omnipresent overly dramatic score and some minor script flubs, “Jericho” is a spirited try at a post-apocalypse serial on network television, post-9/11. The show’s season finale, a violent battle between Jericho’s residents and those of neighboring town New Bern, got me in the mood for this blog – the best of the worst that mankind could suffer in the wake of an atomic holocaust (or perhaps in events leading up to the disaster). They’re daring, exciting, engaging and – to paraphrase my friend Connie as she occasionally describes her affinity for such matters – “I like it because it’s dark.” Here they are, in no particular order, the best nuclear war movies:
* The Day After – Yeah, you remember this one. I was a giddy 9-year-old watching this when it first aired on ABC amid loads of controversy. Admittedly, for a TV movie, the special effects were not terribly great and definitely don’t hold up well to today’s standards. But the lead-up to, during and after the attack never fails to entertain, all told. (What is it anyway with Kansas getting nuked so often on the small screen?)
* Testament – Arguably the best film ever about the aftermath. There are no graphic scenes of destruction or horrific suffering. The dialogue barely alludes to what’s happening outside a small northern California town when war takes place. The key is what unfolds inside the town – the breakdown of communications, supply chains and eventually modern human society. The elderly and children die first. Then all you have are the middle-aged left to wonder what happened, why and how little time they have remaining. Look for decent cameos from a young Kevin Costner and Rebecca DeMornay.
* Threads – Leave it to the British to get down and dirty in giving us a rather strong picture of what Armageddon may look like. The BBC presented its version of The Day After with no holds barred. The future is bleak – as in Dark Ages, we-may-as-well-await-the-Black Plague-at-least-that’ll-be-merciful hopelessness. The absolute last shot is damned creepy. I gotta buy that on DVD.
* Miracle Mile – Say you’re minding your business one fine, ordinary day. Say you meet someone who made your heart (and maybe a few other body parts) all a flutter. Say you two set up a date later that night. Say you’re getting ready to go out with that new someone when you get a sudden phone call. Say that person on the other line mutters something about a nuclear war starting in one hour. That’ll put a damper on any first date.
* Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb – A classic in every right. It’s cynical, comical and thrilling all at once. Peter Sellers pulls an outstanding performance, three great characters in one setting. Loads of memorable quotes (“You can’t fight in here. This is the war room!”) and of course that outrageous final scene with Slim Pickens. As the Guinness beer guys would blurt, “Brilliant!”
* Fail Safe – Another classic in the vein of Dr. Strangelove, but even more cynical and darker. A true thriller that today probably would not stand up given the audience’s need for less exposition and dialogue and for more violence and cartoonish characters.
* By Dawn's Early Light – This hit the small screen just as the Soviet Union was going bye-bye. After an initial exchange of nukes set off by dissidents exploding one in Russia, a B-52 bomber crew awaits final orders to demolish the USSR. Will the orders come through in time or will the real president, injured and away from his official command plane, send different orders to save the world?
* World War III – Kind of a weary miniseries in which Soviet troops invade Alaska to destroy the U.S. oil pipeline. Rock Hudson plays the president (cue the dramatic music, dum-dum-DAH!).
* Special Bulletin/Countdown to Looking Glass – These flicks went the Orson Welles/War of the Worlds route, using real-looking (at least for the early ‘80s) news broadcasts. The former movie shows anti-war activists holding Charleston, South Carolina hostage with a homemade nuke. The latter covers a 12-day crisis that unfolds from a terrorist attack and debt default into WW III. (Without Warning in 1994 upped the ante on the War of the Worlds/fake news broadcast take with the idea that meteors falling on Earth Halloween night may not just be random natural occurrences after all.)
* The War Game – The old “duck and cover” newsreels have nothing on this BBC-sponsored mockumentary from the ‘60s. Gripping, dark, realistic, the producers packed a graphic, emotional wallop into an hour-long program that follows the events before and after an atomic war and its aftermath in England. So searing was the production that the British government banned its broadcast until the ‘80s. It only made it American DVD last year.
* On the Beach – A classic in a limited genre – post-apocalyptic romance/adventure. The remake was passable.
* WarGames – Okay, this would’ve never won any awards, but the geek kid inside me still loves this flick to this day. Sure, huge hard drives, floppy drives, Cheyenne Mountain, accidentally hacking into NORAD, the “high-tech” ways Matthew Broderick got himself out of jams – those concepts all are outdated and ridiculous at this point in history. But who cares?
* The Sum of All Fears – Not a tremendously great Jack Ryan/Tom Clancy film. Not when you have Ben Affleck trying to act 200 points above his real IQ. Still, the nuke scene and the following carnage are pretty thrilling. And you can’t go wrong with neo-Nazis as the villains.
* Crimson Tide/The Hunt for Red October – Highly entertaining, methodical, gripping submarine thrillers about the world on the brink of destruction. Question is, who would you want to command your sub in such a situation? Gene Hackman, Denzel Washington, Sean Connery or Scott Glenn?
Not necessarily pre/post nuclear war, but still receives honorable (or dishonorable mention):
* Red Dawn – The best-ever flick involving snot-nosed high school kids using clichés and sub-par acting while leading an armed rebellion against foreign occupying forces. Wooollllverrrinneess!!
* Amerika – That’s right, the epic, over-budgeted miniseries that killed long-form miniseries. Gosh, watching grass grow while paint dries was more fun. The perfect companion piece? A book that I proudly own (purchased for 50 cents at a used book sale): What to Do When the Russians Come.
* Warday -- Okay this is post-nuclear but in thrilling book form. Whitley Strieber and James Kunetka penned this book version of a mockumentary, traversing America after a nuclear war in the late '80s/early '90s (I read the book in the mid '80s). One cool thing -- San Antonio was a primary Soviet target in the plot. Strieber, a hometown boy, vividly describes the destruction and desolation that envelopes the Alamo City. And in reality, the Soviets did target us. Yay for us being in the bullseye.
