>>You have two choices in life:You can stay single and be miserable,or get
> >>married and wish you were dead.
>
> At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?""Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:"Husband Wanted".Next day she
> >>received a hundred letters.They all said the same thing:"You can have
> >>mine."
>
> When a woman steals your husband,there is no better revenge than to
> >>let her keep him.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
>
> A little boy asked his father,"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father
> >>replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
>
> A young son asked,"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africaa man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
> >>
> >>Then there was a woman who said,"I never knew what real happiness was until
> >>I got married,and by then, it was too late."
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.If you want your
> >>spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in
> >>your sleep.
> >>
>
> >>Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
> >>they had no faults at all.
>
> First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"Second guy
> >>remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop
> >>with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When
> >>the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine
> >>kids are able to fit onto the bus.So the husband and the blind man decide
> >>to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the
> >>stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why
> >>don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking
> >>sound is driving me crazy."The blind man replies, "If you would've put a
> >>rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the
> >>hell up."