Over 16,536,203 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
Only in Pennsylvania ...
People in Schuylkill County , Pennsylvania have a warped sense of humor.
It must be something in the coal-infused water.
This is the pull off at SR 61 and Adamsdale Rd.
A deer was hit there.
The couch was dumped there previously.
Day two the deer was on the couch.
Day three the end table and lamp showed up.
Day four the TV and TV stand showed up.
The Trooper had to call PENN DOT because of all the people stopping to take pictures.
The cardboard caption in front of the deer on the couch reads,
"Sorry Hunters.
Obama ruined healthcare.
We can't afford to have injured hunters on our conscience,
so I'm staying home!
Sorry,
the Deer."
AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
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Its about time this happened to her.... |
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COMPUTER UPGRADES for 2010 |
I really like this one!!!!
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!
My 1 day employment
So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter,a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day... About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud,
unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?' The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7..
Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or stupid?'
So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart..'
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work .
"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to
give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was
delicious.
Thank you."
A little humor to brighten your day
GOD BLESS!
STRESS
It has not been understood exactly how this works, but it is amazingly accurate. Read the full description before looking at the picture.
The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels at St. Mary's Hospital.
Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical, a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins. The more differences a person finds between the dolphins, the more stress that person is experiencing.
Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences, you may want to take a vacation.
![[]](http://by120w.bay120.mail.live.com/mail/SafeRedirect.aspx?hm__tg=http://207.46.9.249/att/GetAttachment.aspx&hm__qs=file%3D48a177f8-03fc-4729-89de-7aa84a4b2372.jpg%26ct%3DaW1hZ2UvanBlZw_3d_3d%26name%3DMTA2NmFiNDAuanBn%26inline%3D1%26rfc%3D0%26empty%3DFalse%26imgsrc%3Dcid%253a1.3268266736%2540web110710.mail.gq1.yahoo.com&oneredir=1&ip=10.1.106.218&d=d78&mf=0&a=01_03b72082a65637c6c82633632d9bf767235bab1502d8faf99911aac37446cb90){kind=spacer}
No need to reply, I will be on vacation.
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Lone Ranger and Tonto
Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their
tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look
towards sky, what you see? '
'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'
'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, 'Astronomically speaking,
it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of
planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.. Time wise,
it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and
insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day
tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?'
'You dumber than buffalo s--t. It means someone stole the tent."
