> For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to
> > take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out
> > on someone you don't know.
> >
> > I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to
> > make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man
> > answered saying, "Hello?"
> >
> > I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin, could I please speak with Robin
> > Carter?" Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on
> > me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude!I tracked down Robin's
> > correct number, and called her. (I had transposed
> > the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I
> > decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same
> > guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.
> >
> > I wrote his number down, with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in
> > my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was
> > paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an
> > asshole!"
> > It always cheered me up.
> >
> > When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling
> > would have to stop.
> > So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone
> > Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the caller ID
> > program?" he yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back
> > and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
> >
> > So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
> > Some boy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had patiently
> > waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot.
> > The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote
> > down his number.
> > A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his
> > number on speed dial by now), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.
> > I dialed and someone said, "Hello?"
> > I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
> > "Yes it is."
> > "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street.
> > It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out
> > front."
> > "What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said.
> > "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
> > "I'm home every evening after five."
> > "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
> > "Yes?"
> > "Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed
> > dial. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several
> > months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
> > So, I came up with an idea: I called Asshole #1. "Hello."
> > "You're an asshole!" (but I didn't hang up.)
> > Are you still there?" he asked.
> > "Yeah," I said.
> > "Stop calling me," he screamed.
> > "Make me," I said.
> > Who are you?" he asked.
> > "My name is Don Hansen."
> > "Yeah? Where do you live?"
> > "Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house with my black
> > Beemer out front."
> > He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying
> > your prayers."
> > I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
> > Then I called asshole # 2: "Hello?" he said.
> > "Hello Asshole," I said.
> > He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
> > "You'll what?" I said.
> > "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
> > I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
> >
> > Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
> > 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
> > Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on West 34th
> > Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th St. There, I saw two
> > assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a police
> > helicopter, and news crew.
> >
> > Now, I feel better.
> >
