FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at
the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are
closed,
and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We
have
heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is
filling
up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for
everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get
into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But
nobody
ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't
too
hard. Life was a big enough test as it was."
St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three
questions.
First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: How
many
secon ds are there in a year? Third: What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day
and
sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, "Now that you have had a
chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week
begins
with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and
Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not
what
I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify,
so
I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asked
St.
Peter.
"How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder," replied Forrest,
but
I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be
twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's
name
could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd,
February
2nd, March 2nd.... "
"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this,
and
I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind.....but
I
will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the
third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?
"Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy."
"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.
"Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two
questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy
as
the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt
it
from the song, "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I
AM
HIS OWN. . . "
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run Forrest, run."
