Have you ever felt like you accidentally hit the fast forward button on your life and every things still happening around you, but your only existing from a different perspective? Everything between now and September 25th, 2006 has seemed like this drama filled blur of events that I can barely remember details of. But I don't feel like I'm slowing down...only moving continuously, only just noticing the difference in my life. I cried tonight, it felt strange...all of a sudden WHAM felt like everything slowed down for a few moments and I realized all the shit I have waded through in the last 6 months. You know what I realized? I'm sooo happy my life was going on faster then me because any longer in any of that time of my life would have been inhumane to myself. That really sucks huh? I'm sitting here now shaking my head at myself with this twisted little smirk on my face while I feel the walls crumbling down around me. Honestly I would really like to crawl under a rock for eternity and cry. I'm tired, sad, and my heart hurts...not that I would ever want to END my life...just make it better...I'm sick of only existing, I'm sick of letting my life fast forward by me...So my new mission: Find the PLAY button. So I don't have to live in fast forward any more.
