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Sam's blog: "Facts (funny )"

created on 04/05/2007  |  http://fubar.com/facts-funny/b71128
16 things to do while ur bored in WALMART 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

facts

Subject: odd facts If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!) A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour (Don't try this at home, maybe at work) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the...?!) The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......) Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing) A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.) Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer) Humans, some monkeys, dolphins, and manatees are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle.
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