dont know what my problem is. I've forgotten what it is that I'm supposed to do. Everything in moderation and judicious decisions, and yet I seem to fuck myself over every time. I have an addiction and while it isnt a bad one, it fucks me over in the end. Cant stop, its practically a part of who I am. And yet.... I dont even know. I"m so lonely and I'm sick of being alone and unloved. I have no meaning without love, everything is pointless. See why I get so desperate for it? Shame is all I seem to have now, with a side of broken heart and a headache from beating myself up
so for now my search for love has ended. if it happens it will come to me and I hope to god I will be more moderate and judicious in the future, and less eager and desperate. I'm just tired of rejection and people who want one thing and dont give much of a shit about anything else. Its all I'm good for in their eyes. I'm done looking. I've got to work on myself instead, something I had forgotten I hadnt finished doing.
