Drunk Dialing Rules
1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement.
2.It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen.
3.If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. "Mom I'm in McDonald's and they're playing our song. I love you"
4.Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn't want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to bend them over something.
5.Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come.
6.Drunk texting is alright... If you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober.
7.It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they've ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night.
8.You can also call this same ex and let them know, that you know, that they still love you. Then explain to them that you would still love you too!
9.If you are a frequent dialer, never get mad if someone dials you. Be happy they thought of you in this special time.
10.It is always a good idea to sing on someone's answering machine or voicemail. Especially a show tune.
11.Drunk dialing should be fun and light hearted or dirty and sex crazed... Never angry.
12.Most likely you will never drunk dial your best friends. They are usually the ones taking your phone away and reminding you that "you have a problem".
13.If you deleted a number sober, it was probably for a good reason. Do not try to retrieve this number. Nothing good can come from it.
14.Always call someone you know. Finding random numbers in phone books is bad and usually leads to angry dialing.
15.If your cell phone dies, remember everything happens for a reason. Never borrow a friend's phone to do your dialing.
16. Drunk dialing to foreign country is usually to costly to be a good idea. But if you feel like if you don't call this person you'll just die, brake rule 15 and use a friend's phone.
